


semi charmed life

by ashleygail



Series: semi charmed life universe [2]
Category: IT (2017)
Genre: 2005, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Death of a Parent, Hallucinations, High School Reunion, Homelessness, Long Distance Relationships, Mentions of Suicide Attempt (past), Mentions of homelessness, Minor Character Death, Multi, Sit-Com Style, Unplanned Pregnancy, bc gay marriage isn't how do you say... legal everywhere in 2005, depressive episodes, domestic relationships, established relationships - Freeform, head injuries, slow burn relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2019-10-05 14:41:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 46,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17326907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleygail/pseuds/ashleygail
Summary: “You guys have kept in contact this whole time?” Bill asked, brow disappearing underneath hair line as he looked like his old friends in amazement. “And you guys are.. what? Room mates?”Eddie avoided looking at Richie as he answered. “Yeah, uh… room mates. Something like that.”[or: after being reunited at their ten year old high school reunion, our favourite losers try to navigate adult life while reconnecting their long lost relationships. Some more than others.]





	1. IT's a reunion pt 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, you’re not going to go in there because you’re afraid of your high school best friend that you stabbed in the back ten years ago?” Patty chuckled. “If it’s eating you up this badly, I can promise he’s moved on. You’re going to go in there, and you’re talk to him, and you’re going find out all the amazing things he’s done since this stupid betrayal that probably means nothing now. And you’ll tell him yours, and he’ll be happy for you and if he’s not- then fuck him.”

Ben Hanscom kicked at the dirt path alongside the Barrens. It was as just a obvious a man-made path as it had been twelve years earlier, the last time Ben had walked down here. Back then, he had never been walking along- always flanked with two or more of his friends from youth.

 _For safety,_ Ben remembered bitterly. It had been little Eddie Kaspbrak who had made the first statement, that nobody should go into the Barrens alone, after Ben had been attacked that day. _They hadn’t even been my friends,_ Ben thought to himself. He picked at long, overgrown yellowing grass alongside the path. _I’d only known Beverly then, but they’d stood by me. Stole supplies for me. Even though it put them higher on Henry Bowers’ shit list._

 _Henry Bowers…_ Ben let out a shaky laugh, pressing his hand against the long faded scar on his stomach. It was barely visible now days, over a decade faded in age and dimmed with the loss of his childhood weight. That day, though undoubtably terrible, had been the last day for many years that Ben Hanscom had been able to say he didn’t have any friends.

Those same friends that Ben hadn’t been spoken to near on a decade, people he’d considered to be his soul mates and thought he’d never separate from. They’d graduated high school, moved across the country, and by the time the summer of 1996 rolled around- they didn’t even speak at all.

Until Derry High School had sent out the e-mails, announcing that in the May of 2005 that they would be holding a 10 year reunion for the graduates of 1995. Mike Hanlon had reached out not long after that. Ben had a Facebook, used it for his work, and had looked up his former friends after hearing from Mike. Most of them had not taken the leap to website, but two had.

Richie Tozier, who seemed to embraced his given name of Richard, seemed to only have work friends on his Facebook as well. He’d gone into work with radio, such a Richie job Ben had thought fondly when he’d realized. There was a slight illusion of some sort of serious relationship on Richie’s Facebook, if just from small comments of his own and that of his friends. He didn’t list a relationship status, nor any name of the radio station he worked for. Ben had scrolled through Richie’s page for his entire lunch break and still hadn’t reached the end.

Beverly Marsh had also gone online with Facebook, but had taken a longer time for Ben to find. At some point in the last ten years, Beverly had gone and tied the knot. Her Facebook name now fell under _Bev Rogan_ and was listed as _Married to Thomas Rogan._ Her privacy settings were much higher than Richie’s- which had easily been non-existent, so Ben hadn’t been able to see any of her personal posts. He supposed that was for the best, if the uncomfortable feeling in his gut at just the thought of Beverly being married had anything to say about it- he wouldn’t have been able to look at Beverly’s happy life.

Ben moved himself up the steep hill, and walked back to his patiently waiting cab. His overly friendly driver grinned up at in the rearview mirror. “Anything interesting down there?” He asked him happily.

“Yeah, yes,” Ben said, voice croaking. “I was just…” An image of bulky thick rimmed glasses, and burning red hair flashed in Ben’s mind. “Just visiting some old ghosts.” 

**→  →  →**

“Just not too hot!” Eddie Kaspbrak was calling over his shoulder as his husband was attempting to assure him out the front door. “You know not to make it too hot, it’s really important. If it’s too hot, it’ll-“

“Eddie, sweetheart,” Maggie Tozier laughed happily, patting her starting to winkle hand against Eddie’s soft cheek. “I’ve done this once or twice. You don’t have anything to worry about, sweetie. Go see your friends, have good time.”

“Yes, I-” Eddie nodded, feeling Richie’s arm coming to rest around his waist. “I know, I know. But we have a very particular schedule we’ve been working with and if it’s-“

“Okay,” Richie pressed a quick kiss to Eddie’s cheek then grinned at his mother. “We’re going to get going, before we’re late and Eddie says something rude that he doesn’t mean.” Eddie grumbled, but flushed and leaned into his husband’s gentle touch. “Love you, Ma. Thanks so much for doing this. Tell Dad we’ll go out for a drink before we head home.”

Maggie rolled her eyes. “He’s _your_ father. Tell him yourself.” Richie gave a matching eye roll, ushering Eddie out of the door and shutting it behind them.

**→  →  →**

“Who’s a good boy?” Mike Hanlon cooed as his six month old golden retriever, Henry, jumped up on him with his paws landing in Mike’s awaiting hands. “You are! You’re the goodest boy!”

Mike’s boyfriend, Alexander, padded into the farm house’s kitchen in his flannel house coat with a steaming cup of what could only be coffee in his hand. He grinned at Mike and shook his head. “Don’t say things like that. You’re going to give the other animals a complex.”

Mike beamed. “They can’t hear me from in here.”

“You don’t know that.”

Mike and Alexander had been together going on two years now. Six months earlier, Mike’s father had been diagnosed with Alzheimer Disease, and when Mike had expected to loose out on the best relationship of his life because of the time he’d be (willingly) giving up to care for his father, Alexander had surprised him for the millionth time since Mike had met him. He’d jumped right into the situation, moving his things into the Hanlon’s farmhouse and taking up what Mike felt might be a little more than his shared of responsibilities.

“When are you meeting your friends?” Alexander asked, jumping to sit up on the countertop with his legs dangling.

Mike sighed, scooping his pup into his arms and pressing his face into his fur. “Soon. Really soon. I should get going if I’m going to make into town in time.”

Alexander raised his eyebrows. “Wasn’t this whole get up your idea? Why do you seem so reluctant to actually go?”

Mike walked forward and dropped Henry into his boyfriend’s ready open arms. “I’m not reluctant… I’m definitely excited to see them. It’s just… it’s been a long time, you know? I guess I’m nervous.”

Alexander nodded, scratching behind Henry’s floppy ear. “I don’t think you need to be worried. If even half the things you told me about your old friends are true, you’re going to click back to who you were immediately.”

**→  →  →**

Beverly Rogan had stepped off the train in Derry and had absolutely no idea what the hell she was doing. The town of Derry hadn’t changed in the decade since she’d turned her away from it and never looked back. Same stores that looked like they hadn’t been renovated since the 1960s, same people on the streets giving her dirty looks- just a little bit older. She hadn’t even come back to this place when her father had died six years earlier, and could barely explain to herself why she was coming back now. It certainly wasn’t to celebrate her days at Derry High School.

She hadn’t been able to explain it to her husband, either. Tom didn’t like surprises, and he very much did not like surprises that including his wife packing up half her belongings and getting on a train. Belongings she was still carrying on with her, which was only drawing more eyes to her. Tom Rogan was a good guy, but as Beverly had learned slowly- not the best husband. He was neglectful and didn’t’ seem to have any idea of how to make a person truly happy. She’d walked out to return to her high school reunion, and didn’t know she if she’d been walking out on her marriage overall.

Beverly stood outside the old Dancing Clown diner, knowing that she was early, knowing that she’d never given Mike a straight answer on whether or not she was coming. Inhaling deeply, she started up to the building and went inside.

**→  →  →**

 

Bill Denbrough tripped and nearly fell down the flight of stairs at parents house. He bounced into the living room, trying to stuff his foot into a sock. His twenty-one year old brother barely even looked up from video game and let out a laugh. “Ha. Fucking loser.”

“You’re one to talk,” Bill shot back, licking his lips and frowning to try to keep himself from stuttering. It was never as bad as when he was back in Derry, there were times when he could years without stuttering if he didn’t make a home visit. “When’s the last time you got off that cuh-couch?”

George held up a half eaten Pizza Pocket and shook it in display. Bill made a disgusted noise and looked over at his father, who’d yet to glance up from his book since breakfast that morning. Turning away, Bill grabbed a jacket from rack by the front door and shrugged it on. The air was still crisp in Maine this early in May, he was lucky Audra had thought to bring them. Despite being the native Maine-r, Bill often forgot what life was like living in Maine. It sometimes felt almost like a repression, and everything was burning into his mind that second he crossed into the state like. Never mind once they’d ridden into Derry.

Bill and Audra had spent the better part of the last year in England, sending their belongings to their unlived in New York apartment while themselves and enough things for the weekend made their way to Derry.

“You’re leaving now?” Audra asked, appearing by Bill’s side as he started putting his boots on. He looked up at his girlfriend of three years and smiled at her. “Have fun, I hope your friends are as awesome as you remember them being. When you get back, there’s something I’ve got to talk to you about.”

“No, no no, hey no,” Bill stood up straight and took Audra’s hands into his own. “You can’t pull that on me, baby. You know I’ll be able to do is worry about what you’re going to tell me the whole time. Just tell me now.”

Audra smiled. “You don’t need to worry about it right now.”

“But I will, if you don’t tell me what it is?” Bill said, rubbing his thumbs against the backs of Audra’s hands. “Please just tell me.”

“I’m pregnant.”

**→  →  →**

 

“Are you going to go inside?” Patty Blum asked, taping the steering wheel and making her engagement ring flash in the sunlight that cast through the car window.

“Maybe.” Stanley Uris replied, picking at his peeling bottom and staring out at the Dancing Clown diner. “Definitely maybe.”

Patty sighed, part annoyed, part fond and turned off the car. She twisted in her seat and gave her fiancée the stare down. ‘If you didn’t want to come here, why didn’t you say so?”

Stan made a loud and offended noise. “I did say so! I said so very many times actually! You just ignored me, packs our backs for us and told me to stop being dramatic.” Stan crossed his arms and goodness nearly pouted.

Patty rolled her eyes. “You were being dramatic. I’m still not sure what your issue is… why are you so afraid of seeing your old friends?”

Stan pressed his head against the head rest of the seat. “I did some shit that I’m not proud of. My best friend… I… I was so desperate to get away from this place, and I kind of betrayed him.”

“So, you’re not going to go in there because you’re afraid of your high school best friend that you stabbed in the back ten years ago?” Patty chuckled. “If it’s eating you up this badly, I can promise he’s moved on. You’re going to go in there, and you’re talk to him, and you’re going find out all the amazing things he’s done since this stupid betrayal that probably means nothing now. And you’ll tell him yours, and he’ll be happy for you and if he’s not- then fuck him.”

Stan cupped Patty’s cheek and kissed her lightly. “Have I told you yet today that I love you?”

“Mmm once or twice,” Patty said lightly. “But it’s always nice to hear it. Now go get em, baby. Call me if you need somebody to pick you up.”

Stan nodded, slipped out of the car and walked into the old diner. His eyes moved through until it fell onto what had once been the Losers Table and saw an all too familiar looking red head seated. Grinning to himself, he tucked his hands into the back pockets of his jeans and stepped up beside the table. Beverly looked like she walked straight to the diner from however she’d gotten into town, her bags all jammed underneath the table.

“Well, would you look what the cat dragged in?” Stan said in a happy voice that he hoped didn’t sound too forced. Forced or not, Beverly beamed at his greeting and quickly jumped to her feet. Even in high school, Bev had been shorter than Stan and that had been before Stan had hit that oh so rare growth spurt in his freshman year of college.  

“Stanley!” Beverly said cheerfully, squeezing his hips. “Stan the MAN! Look at you! You’ve got to be as tall as Richie now!”

Stan smiled bashfully- his perfect dimple smile, as Patty always called it- and slid into the booth beside her. They both kicked at the luggage under the table, giggling to each other like children. The diner seemed oddly deserted, a place that had been so important to them growing up, now seemed ready to close with a single moment’s notice. The door jingle open and Mike Hanlon, the man breaking into a deep grin the second he caught sight of his friends.

“Stanley Uris and Beverly Marsh,” Mike said in a laugh as Beverly leapt right back up to her feet and rushed at him. Mike patted at the top of her head, smiling softly at Stan from across the diner. “Why am I not surprised that you two beat me to my own event?”

“Why am _I_ not surprised that you’re the only person who lives in Derry and you couldn’t even be the first person here?” Stan shot back dryly, standing as well and clasping Mike on the shoulder. The words seemed to hang in the air for moment, heavy and tense, before Mike simply smiled and they took their seats back around the diner table.

“You stayed in Derry?” Beverly asked, eyes widening as she slipped in to sit beside Mike. There was the distinct sound of three pairs of feet kicking at Beverly’s aggressive amount of luggage while Mike avoided making eye contact with Stan. “I thought you went to NYU with Richie and Eddie?”

“I was going to,” Mike said in light voice. “That was the plan but you know how life can be. Things get a little mixed up and then..”  The bell to the door rang out again, stealing the attention from all three former Losers. Bill Denbrough nearly stumbled into the diner, pale and looked dazed, seeming almost as though they’d came in by accident. He dropped into the booth without so much of a greeting, and dropped his hand onto Stanley’s shoulder. Stan crinkled his nose up in repulsion and forced himself to allow that distantly familiar touch.

“How you doin’ honey?” Beverly asked gently, looking between Mike and Stan’s worried gazes.

Bill groaned deeply, pressing his face harder into the crock of Stanley’s neck. “Life is terrible, nothing good happens to anybody and then we all die.”

Stanley coughed awkwardly. “Listen, Bill… I appreciate your struggle, but if you could please…”

“Sit up, man,” Mike said a little sharply and Bill startled upwards. “Oh, shit, Stan, I’m so sorry, I tuh-tuh-totally forgot!”

“It’s fine,” Stan said mildly, waving Bill’s apology off. “Is it really that bad being back in Derry? I know it’s no back packing trip through Europe but…”

Bill barked out a laugh while Beverly shook her head. “What, Stan? Did you keep tabs on us for the last ten years? Should we be worried?”

Stan shook his head. “Not all of you.”

The ringing silence danced over the table before Mike cleared his throat awkwardly. “You mean Richie, right? Stan, I really don’t think that Richie-“

“Don’t think I what?” Richie’s voice called over from where he was ducking into the entrance with an arm tossed around one Eddie Kaspbrak. The entire group of former Losers jumped, Stan feeling his heart leapt into his throat. “You guys all already talking shit about mem before I’m even here to defend myself?”

“Yup,” Beverly agreed, tears starting to well up into her eyes. “You have to know that somethings never change, don’t ya?”

Richie hummed, dropping his arm from Eddie’s shoulder to catch Beverly as she came running for him. Eddie laughed lightly, as Richie spun Bev around and narrowly avoided knocking over several chairs. He slid into Beverly’s seat, greeting Mike with a tight hug and smiling towards Bill and Stan across the table. As Beverly attempted to sit back beside Eddie, Richie slipped in before in and took the spot. Beverly raised her brow as she moved in beside Bill, muttering something under her breath about somethings really _don’t_ change.

Richie gave a over joyous greeting to Mike, his voice sobering up as he glanced across the table towards Bill and Stan. He gave one simple nod, forced a small smile and pushed out one simple: “Lads.”

“Richard.” Stan said back through a dry throat. Eddie reached out and began fiddling with the sugar dispenser, Mike noting the discolour of paler skin on his ring finger and frowning.

“What are we all talking about?” Eddie asked, speaking fast and voice high. Stan almost smiled at the memories of Eddie’s nervous voice, the kind he only used when desperate to talk about anything else.

“Billy here was about to tell us about his backpacking trip in Europe with his movie star girlfriend,” Beverly jumped in, pinching at Bill’s cheeks.

“No fucking shit, Denbrough?” Richie laughed, fingers twitching as though desperate to return to a muscle memory habit but being unable to. “I always knew you were going to do some high living, but fuck, dude.”

“She’s not _really_ a movie star,” Bill said, swaying slightly like he may be sick. “She’s a had a few roles in some B Lists and guest star roles on main broadcast television. She’s no Winona Ryder or anything.”

“Obviously,” Stan and Richie spoke up in unison, voices dancing in harmony. “Nobody could be Winona Ryder except Winona Ryder.”

Another awkward silence settled over the table, Stan biting his lip and looking down at the diner table while Richie looked up at the ceiling as though pissed with himself. Beverly thought she noticed Eddie’s hand slipping underneath the table, but was quickly pulled away from the moment by the diner’s door opening once more.

Ben Hanscom stumbled into the diner, out of breath and with mud stains on his jeans. He ran his fingers through his curlier-than-she-remembered hair as his danced through the diner until they landed on her. She watched the way the muscles in his neck hitched, as though he’d momentarily forgotten how to breathe, and she felt her lungs follow his inabilities for just a moment.

“Here we go,” Richie leaned over and whispered to Eddie, who pursed his lips in an attempt not to laugh. “Haystack! My main man! The biggest dick I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing! Pull up at a chair!”

Ben’s cheeks turned a deep red, and the rest of the table all burst out laughing as Ben followed through with Richie’s request. “Come on, Rich, we all know you haven’t even seen Ben’s dick.” Bill said with the first genuine smile he’d cracked since he’d gotten there.

Richie gave Bill a dark, deadpan expression. “You don’t know what I’m into.”

“Oh… Kay..” Bill said slowly, frowning to himself while Eddie nudged Richie’s shoulder gently.. “Suh-suh-sorry, I guess?”

Richie shook his head, and forced a quick smile. “It  tis no problem, misuser! But as we have all arrived now, why don’t we give a quick run down of a decade! Eds and I here are still out in the big apple-“

“You and Eddie live together?” Beverly cut across him, frowning in confusion. Richie opened his mouth, then snapped it shut before looking towards Eddie. Eddie cleared his throat and smiled.

“After what happened with UCLA, Richie came with me to NYU instead of staying in Derry,” Eddie said with a shrug. “Since Mike wasn’t going to go anymore, we moved into the apartment together and I just we just never… stopped living together.”

“So, You guys have kept in contact this whole time?” Bill asked, brow disappearing underneath hair line as he looked like his old friends in amazement. “And you guys are.. what? Room mates?”

Eddie avoided looking at Richie as he answered. “Yeah, uh… room mates. Something like that.”

Richie slammed his hands down onto the table. “Somebody else talk now!!!”

Ben startled, then cleared his throat. “I uh… I actually live in New York, too.” He said slowly. “I work for the Pennywise Architecture firm. I’m just an intern still, might as well be unpaid but it’s a first step to my dream job so I deal with it.”

“Okay, not to make things kind of weird…” Beverly scratched at the side of her face. “But I actually live in New York, too. My husband got a transfer last spring, better pay and all that fun stuff. I don’t work, but I sell commissions on my art and a little bit clothing design. I might do something with that, I haven’t decided just yet. I think Tom wants to start a family so I’m not really sure just now.”

Richie narrowed his eyes, but Eddie quickly caught across him. “A family is so worth it, Beverly. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”

Beverly smiled blandly, and the conversation slowed until the Bill cleared his throat. “Audra and I actually just bought an apartment in New York. She wuh-wants to do some wuh-work on Broadway and I can wruh-write anywhere, so. We haven’t moved in yet, because we were in Euh-Europe but we’re going straight there after the ruh-reuinon.”

“I…” Stan cleared his throat, a look of concern and discomfort on his face. “I’m actually engaged, Patty she’s… the most amazing person I’ve ever met. She’s still in school, trying to be a high school teacher. She’s… finishing her degree at NYU once the new semester starts. We’re moving out there in like a month from Atlanta.”

Every face turned to look at Mike, who sighed and rubbed at his face. “I applied to some museum job in New York on a whim earlier this year, but I actually got it. I’m not going to go, my dad needs me here and my job is fine but… I told my partner that I’ve turned it down but I actually haven’t yet. I don’t know why I didn’t, I guess part of it just felt wrong.”

“What was it we all used to say back then?” Beverly asked, shaking her head slightly. “When all those weird things happened that we couldn’t explain?”

Ben looked at her and smiled. “Soulmates for the centuries.”  

 


	2. IT's a reunion part ii

“Okay, no. You are not wearing that.”

Richie made a scandalized noise and looked down at himself. He was wearing a pair of acid wash jeans, with a wildly flower print shirt tucked into the pants. His hair seemed messier than Eddie had seen it in almost five years, almost as though Richie had gone out of his way to make it seem fly-away and out-of-control. Richie blinked innocently up at his husband. “What’s wrong with it?”

Eddie scoffed, pursing his lips to hide his genuine amusement. “You realize it’s not 1994 anymore, right? Just because it’s your high school reunion, doesn’t mean you need to dress like we’re still in high school ourselves.”

“Well, actually, my love,” Richie waggled his eyebrows. “It’s yours, I’m just your arm candy. Besides, I want to make sure everybody remembers who I am.”

Eddie frowned sadly, rubbing at Richie’s forearms. “Don’t… I’m sure nobody is going to forget Trashmouth Tozier. But you don’t need to actually wear your clothes from high school.”

“But _Eds,”_ Richie mock whined, pressing quick kisses to the top of Eddie’s head. “I’ve kept them for an entire decade for this _exact reason.”_

“Okay, you can wear whatever you want,” Eddie laughed light. “ But I won’t let you be my arm candy dressed like that.”

Richie frowned slightly, pulling back and toeing at the carpet. “In my defense, I won’t really be your arm candy, will I? I’ll just be Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier, showing up at a high school reunion he doesn’t belong at.”

Eddie made a small, sad noise and moved to wrap his arms around Richie’s mid section. “Baby… we talked about this, I thought we agreed it was best we didn’t tell them.”

“No yeah,” Richie shook his head, cupping the side of Eddie’s face. “It is what’s best. It’s not even that, whole thing… it’s just. This _should be_ my reunion, and everybody there is going to know it. And I can’t even, I can’t even tell them what I actually accomplished with my life because I’m proud of it but… To them, I’m just gonna be regular old Trashmouth working on the radio and living with Eddie Kaspbrak from high school.”

“Baby…” Eddie leaned his head onto Richie’s shoulder. “Fuck whatever they think, we have such a good fucking life. They’re not entitled to know anything about it.”

“I just…” Richie crinkled his nose and exhaled shakily. “I don’t deserve to go to a fucking Derry High reunion as somebody’s _date._ That school was my bitch.”

“Its still your bitch,” Eddie beamed up at him. “This whole world is your bitch.”

Richie kissed Eddie lightly, smiling against his lips. “Have I ever told you that you’re the love of my life.”

Eddie chuckled. “Probably once a day for the last twelve years. But you’re the love of mine, so that’s okay.”

**→  →  →**

Beverly fiddled with the collar of her black dress as she walked into the front doors of Derry High School. The Losers had all agreed to meet in the very front foyer of their old school, right in their old pre-class meeting spot. Standing already there was none other than Ben Hanscom, Beverly’s heart hitching in her chest at the sight of him. She barely had time to register Ben’s appearance before the high school aged girl with the long black hair caught her eyes and she let out a small noise.

Eliina Tozier seemed to hold herself with a strength of pure confidence that her brother had yet to master in high school. In a simple black dress and her hair falling down her back in soft curls tumbling down her back, she looked close to elegant with all of her mothers’ beauty. The girl had been nothing but a child the last time Beverly had seen her, a maximum of seven years old, but she stood before her now looking nearly a woman grown. The age difference between Richie and Elii had been extreme- Elii had been a toddler when Beverly had become with Richie- and he’d always been pretty open with explaining that his sister was a simple “save the marriage” baby.

“Elii Tozier, as I live and breathe,” Beverly chuckled, giving the girl a quick hug. Richie’s sister had never been a large part in the Losers dynamic, never being the type to go running behind her brother the way Bill Denbrough’s brother Georgie always had been. The only time Beverly ever really saw Elii was the rare few times the Losers gathered at the Tozier house, and Beverly hadn’t given the child much thought since turning her back on Derry.

“Signing in?” Elii asked, giving a forced smile. Beverly nodded and followed her over to the set of desk sitting outside the cafeteria. “You’re married, right, Bev? I think I saw your name earlier, but you’ve changed your last name.”

“I- yeah I got married,” Bev said, clearing her throat awkwardly. “A few years back, yes. It’s Rogan now.”

Elii nodded and rummaged through the pile of visitors passes and tossed Beverly hers. She fought back the wince as she saw **BEVERLY ROGAN** written in large, black letters on it and smiled at Richie’s little sister.

“I’m supposed to check you guys for alcohol and all other stuff that’s not allowed on the property but,” Elii shrugged and smiled smugly. “You guys are coming with my brother, who’d probably be living in a ditch on the side of the road downtown if it wasn’t for Eddie Kaspbrak, so I’m just going to assume you guys are bringing in booze and let it slide.”

Beverly though of the bottle of wine hidden in her purse and smiled blandly. Even when they were all children, Elii had adored Eddie and is just seemed to be a simple common traits amongst all Toziers. Ben glanced over to the pair in confusion, his own visitors pass sitting around his neck. As Beverly turned away from Elii, she smiled up at Ben. “Little harsh on Rich there,” she chuckled.

Ben shrugged. “I guess. WE don’t really know what happened after graduation except that he went to live with Eddie. We don’t know how Richie handled it-“

“And neither does my sweet little sister,” Richie’s voice carried over to them as he waltzed into the building with Eddie by his side. Beverly’s eyes trailed over Richie’s truly horrific outfit and felt a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Eliina sided with her daddy in the divorce and decided that she was too cool for her big brother.”

“I was too cool for you before that,” Elii called over without looking up from her stack of passes. Richie rolled his eyes, marching over to the set up entrance.

“Checking in?” Elli’s partner asked sweetly, smiling up at Richie. “You’re Elli’s brother? Richie K-“

“ _TOZIER.”_ Richie said loudly and passionately. Elli looked up from the stack and gave her a brother a deeply confused look. “Yep. That’s me, Ricardo Tozier. Signing in! Tozier. That’s my name!”

Beverly and Ben glanced at one another, raising his eyebrows in unison, and Eddie pressed a hand to the middle of his face. Elii handed Richie his pass, which he promptly draped around his neck and tucked inside his shirt.

Elii shook her head. “Okay, I know you’re like… super weird all the time but you are being really-“ Elii cut off when the sound of the front door opening caught the attention after everybody standing around. Stanley Uris came into the building with a beautiful woman who could only be Patty, his fiancée. Elii and Richie’s face darkened in an eerie unison, Elii pursing her lips and nodding once.

“Excuse me,” she said to the ground around her, tapping her hands on the wooden table before turning away quickly. Richie smiled after with a sad look on his face.

“Guess there is somebody she hates more than me after all.”

 **→  →  →**  

The room was blasting with 90s hits and Eddie was seconds away from excusing himself to take four Advil in the school bathroom.  Beverly had managed to stay at their table for maybe fifteen minutes before being found a group of girls that definitely wouldn’t have given  her the time of day in high school but somehow had fallen in love with her tiny clothing line and was dragged away. Mike and Ben were having some passionate conversation about some historical documentary that Eddie hadn’t been able to focus on. Stan and his fiancée, Patty, were seated together looking as happy as they could be to just sit around and absorb the conversations around them. Bill was swirling around a cup of dark pop and looking thoroughly like somebody had run over his puppy right in front of him.

“Big Bill!” Richie clapped his hands in Bill’s face, and chuckled. “Cheer the fuck up! Where’s the so-called movie star candy of yours?”

Bill cleared his throat slightly. “She uh- she went to our place in New York early. Wasn’t feeling up to the partying after our trip, I guess. I don’t know. I don’t really care.”

Richie blinked and glanced towards his husband with a single raise of his brow. Bill sighed and rolled his eyes. “I guess we had a fight, I don’t _know._ She told me something and I didn’t react the way she wanted me to, so she felt I don’t know if she’s _left_ left or just… I don’t know. She… Audra is pregnant.”

Richie whistled lowly, but Eddie could see the dancing behind his eyes. “Oh damn. Kids. Fuck ‘em, eh? Who fucking wants those little… smelly…. things.”

Eddie grinned, bringing the back of his hand to rub at his mouth. His eyes caught Mike’s over the table, his friend frowning slightly and frowning. Eddie coughed loudly, quickly bringing his drink to his mouth and chugging half the glass. Richie was smirking at him all the while.

“Yeah, well, whatever.” Bill shook his head angrily. “Can we just talk about something else?”

“Uhh…” Ben stammered. “Stan, have you guys picked a day for the wedding? Or given it any thought at all?”

Stan and Patty’s hands came to clasp together on the table and Eddie felt Richie go stiff beside him. Eddie reached under the table and squeezed Richie’s thigh. “We haven’t started talking about the wedding yet,” Stan answered happily. “Its enough to be engaged honestly. We met her first year at Georgia State- it was already my third year- and honestly I think I fell in love with her the second I saw it. When we started dating, I knew I was the luckiest guy in the world.”

“Yeah,” Richie scoffed. “It sure is _lucky_ you were able to go to Georgia State, isn’t it, Stan? _Luck_ has got to be the _only_ thing that explains it.”

Stan’s face paled, and Patty looked around the table in confusion. Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, heart tightening in his chest. Ben and Bill both looked between Richie and Stan like deers caught in the headlights. “Rich…” Mike said slowly, sounding half sympathetic and half cautionary.

Richie forced a smile. “Okay, yeah, no. I’m out.” He shook his head, pushing up from the table. He moved through the crowds of old classmates with a surprising amount of grace. Eddie sighed and placed down his drink but felt Mike’s hand wrapping around his wrist before he could stand.

“No, Eddie. Wait.” He said softly, making eye contact with Stan from across the table. He nodded once towards Stan. “Go.”

Stan seemed to bounce in his seat for a moment before sighing and standing. He moved through the same crowd, flying out in the hallways. Richie was walking not far ahead of him, bouncing his fists against the lockers as he walked past them. “Richie! Wait!”

Richie let out a loud, humourless laugh as he slowed to a stop a few feet ahead of Stan. He didn’t turn around, but Stan jogged up towards him. “Look, I know I deserved that okay? I probably deserve way worse than that. But Richie, it’s been ten years, man. I’ll regret what I did to you every day for the rest of my life but I’d really like to move past this. You were best friend for fifteen years before that, and I… I’ve always missed you.”

“You know….” Richie shook his head and frowned. “I thought I was past this, I thought I was easily eight years past what you did. But now I’m here, looking at you and having to listen to you go on about what a great experience you had at school and how in love you are and I…. I want to be happy for you, Stanley, but I can’t. Because you stepped on me to get it.”

“Richie, I’m sorry…” Stan’s voice wavered, nearly broke.

“You almost destroyed me,” Richie snapped, eyes blazing. “I couldn’t go to school, I couldn’t even graduate. I almost had to stay in this absolute hell hole, just so you wouldn’t have to admit failure. So fuck you, Stanley.”

Richie turned to walk away but Stanley grabbed his arm and tugged him back. “What I did to you, Richie, was the worst thing I’ve ever done. I was so caught up in my own issues that I didn’t even think about the consequences of what happened to you. And I am so damn sorry.”

“That apology is about ten years too late.” Richie stared back off down the hallways and Stan could do nothing but stare after him.

**→  →  →**

“So,” Bill said, attempting to break through the awkward tension that had settled itself around their table. “Since we’re just unloading all our old high school baggage- Benny Boy, how’s that old flame for Miss Marsh burning?”

Eddie chuckled. “Just because Trashmouth left doesn’t mean you need to replace his lack of filter, Billy.”

Bill beamed at him, winking once. “What can I say? We were a pretty incestuous little group back then. I’m surprised not more of us dated back then.”

Eddie quickly finished the rest of his drink while Mike eyed the side of his face.

Ben was shaking his head. “Torch still burning or not, she’s not Miss Marsh anymore. She’s Mrs Rogan. And that’s all that.”

Eddie hummed. “Don’t be so sure about that. I’m not seeing a husband anywhere, and there wasn’t even an excuse to why. And if it means anything now, I was always routing for you guys.”

“Ditto.” Mike spoke up, smiling softly.

“Wow!” Bill cried in a mock-wounded voice and the entire table broke down into youthful giggles.

**→  →  →**

**CUTEST COUPLE**. Richie traced his hands over the words, smiling softly as he took in the appearance of himself and Beverly Marsh at fifteen. Hair that hadn’t been tamed on either part, paisley patterns and braces on Richie’s teeth. Himself looking like the best thing that could ever happen to him was standing there with Beverly Marsh in his arms, having their picture taken for their high school yearbook.

“I’d almost forgotten about that,” Beverly voice came towards him as she approached from behind. Cheeks a little flushed and bottle of wine in her hands, she swayed up to Richie and leaned against him. Her hand came out to trace the words alongside his. “I think… I think _you,_ Richie Tozier, are the only good guy I’ve ever dated.”

Richie looked down at her with a bemused smile. “Beverly, aren’t you married?”

Beverly pressed the bottle of wine to her lips and let the liquid fill her mouth. “It’s all bullshit, you know? Love, marriage? It’s a trap.”

Richie got a small far away look in his eyes as he accepted the bottle offered to him. “Nah, it’s not. Not if it’s the real thing.”

Beverly watched Richie drink, narrowing her eyes and frowning. He eyes landed on the pale ring of skin on his finger and she furrowed her brow. “Richie… are you married?”

Richie hummed, wrapping an arm around Beverly and pulling her flush against him. “Look at those dumb kids,” he gestured the bottle towards the photo of them laid out on the table of memories from 1991-1995. At them, smiling up at the camera as though they had absolutely no problems to ever concerned themselves with. “Absolute dumb fucks.”

Beverly nodded against him, taking the bottle back. “I’m still convinced that Ben rigged those results so we’d win.”

Richie chuckled. “I paid him fifteen bucks to do it. A little cruel looking back on it, given out absolutely in love with you he was but hey- I didn’t know a lot of things about a lot of things back then. I don’t think I even had a functioning brain until junior year.” Beverly laughed and Richie glanced down at her once more.

“Bev? Are you going to go back to your husband?”

“I-“ Beverly stalled and took another swig of wine. “I don’t know.”

Richie nodded. “Well… there will always be room in my and Eds’ place for you. As long as you’re able to keep a secret.”

Beverly though of her life and chuckled. “It’s what I’m best at.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME ON SEMI CHARMED LIFE: 
> 
> Eddie stepped closer with the small bundle in his arms. "Come on, you can hold her."
> 
> Bill cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, no, that's uh- that's okay. I'll just watch from over here."


	3. IT's two bros and a baby!!!

The park was surprisingly warm for this May afternoon, Bill Denbrough feeling perfectly comfortable in just his loose-fitting jeans and thin flannel. Children ran all around him, with each other and their parents and the occasional pet. Usually seeing children like this would remind Bill of his own youth, running around with Eddie and Stan and Richie- or even sometimes of a young Georgie. Now, however, it just made him sick to his stomach and triggered a headache. Yet here he was. Watching the kids in the park.

Somebody sat to Bill’s left on the bench seat, and he turned to find Eliina Tozier looking at him in mild amusement. It had taken Bill a second to recognize the girl when she’d checked him in at the reunion- she had, realistically, completely grown up since the last time he’d seen her- but there was no missing that mischievous Tozier charm. “Why are you just sitting in the park staring at kids? Do I need to call the police?”

Bill chuckled. “My girlfriend is pregnant. I’m observing parents in a natural habitat. Because we both seem to agree that I’m going to be an almost terrible father so I’m trying to get a learning curve.”

Elii crinkled her nose. “Not that your creeping in the park isn’t endearing, but why didn’t you just ask Eddie and Richie? I’d never compliment my brother to his face, but he’s done a pretty great job.”

Bill blinked. Opened his mouth then closed it again. Shook his head. “I’m sorry… but they’re doing a great job at what?”

Elii opened her mouth, then closed it again with a smirk.

**→  →  →**

“So, you took the job?” Alexander said slowly, hands clasped together on the dining room table.

“No,” Mike said firmly. “I didn’t take it.. not technically. I just never officially turned it down and they’re sort of expecting me to start on Monday.”

Alexander breathed out slowly, twiddling his thumbs together. He pursed his lips, and closed his eyes. “What about your job here? _My_ job here? Your house? Your father? Mike, we can’t just pack up and go to New York on a whim! We don’t have anywhere to live out there!”

“They can set us up with an apartment,” Mike said pleadingly. “My dad should have been set up in a full-time care place a long time ago, we both know that. It kills me but he needs more than we can give him. This job… it’s a great chance for us. To start over, and my dad will have all the care he deserves. We’ll sell the farm and the money can-“

“It’s great opportunity for you,” Alexander interrupted him. “You should have told me that you wanted to take it in the first place. We could have figured out but now you’re just… springing this on me. You think we can get your father into a permanent care facility by _Monday?_ What about Henry? You can’t just take a puppy raised on a farm and stuff him in a New York apartment! It’s not fair!”

“I know,” Mike said slowly, shaking his head. “I meant to turn it but every time I went to I… I just couldn’t. I should have told you, I know. I _know._ But I think I need to do this. I’ve been stuck in this town my whole life, I gave up school for my dad. This is something I need to do for me, and I want you to come with me. I understand if you can’t, but I’m asking you to come with me because I love you and I want us to do this together.”

Alexander rubbed at his face and sighed softly. “Okay, okay. Let’s try to figure this out.”

 

**→  →  →**

Elii let them into Maggie Tozier’s small little house just off old Neibolt Street, Bill still following behind her in a dazed confusion. The girl gave a shout of greeting and Richie came padding into the front entry. His curls were pulled back from his face in a small ponytail and his white T-shirt seemed to have small purple handprints all over them. He raised his eyebrows.

“You bringing home strays now, El?” Richie asked, shooting a wink in Bill’s direction. “Isn’t this one a little old for you?”

Elii clasped Bill on the shoulder. “Found this little guy all alone in the park, creeping on some poor innocent childrens. Seems to have gotten it into his head that he’s gonna be a bad daddy and that potentially getting arrested for being a park creep is the best way to figure it all out.”

An odd look of understanding settled on Richie’s face as he looked between Bill and his little sister. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth before letting out a horse-like sound. “Yeah, yeah, okay. Eds is upstairs. But if he tells you to fuck off, then you know what to do.”

Elii saluted and took off up the stairs. Bill hesitated and looked around, utterly confused, before slowing starting up the stairs after her. Elii was leaning against one of the doors, smirking at him, and clicked open the door. Right behind her, he watched Elii skip into the room. Eddie turned around, seemingly holding an arm full of pastel coloured blankets. His hair was left in his natural soft curls, and there seemed to be some sort white mess on the shoulder of his shirt. His face lit up when he noticed Elii.

“I’m here to see the best member of my family,” she sang as she bounced into the room. She pressed a kiss to Eddie’s cheek before leaning down and pulled a face at the blankets in Eddie’s room. “and _of course_ this pretty little princess!”

Bill’s jaw nearly detached from his face when he realized that the bundles of blankets in Eddie’s arms wasn’t simple blankets at all- it was an actual human infant. “I… Eddie, what…”

Eddie’s face jerked up, eyes blown wide. “Bill!” Eddie cried, then coddled the little person close to his chest as they made small whining noises at his loud voice. Eddie hushed the baby, kissing them softly on their head. “It’s okay, baby… Everything’s fine.”

“Is it…” Bill shook his head. “This is your baby? Why didn’t… I am so confused.”

Elii chuckled. She launched back into the story of finding Bill down a the park, Eddie’s amused smile started growing the longer it carried on. He glanced back over at Bill, grinning when Elii finished. “I asked why he didn’t just ask you and Rich, and imagine my surprise when he had no idea what I was talking about.”

Eddie sighed, smiling softly down at his baby. “Leave it, Elii.” He took a few steps towards Bill, rocking the small human. “So, you’re absolutely terrified about being a dad, huh? That’s fair, you know it’s the biggest life change you can make. But, Billy, it’s so worth it. There’s nothing better.” Eddie looked up at Bill, eyes glazing with what could have been happy tears. “This is Martina, given an old lady name specifically so that Richie can call her Marty and make Back to the Future references. She’s five months old, we’ve had her about three and a half.”

Bill leaned in closer and all he could see was _small._ Small face, small nose, small hands. Just the tiny, small little person that can’t take care of itself, can’t do _anything._ That needed Eddie, fiercely and for everything. Just months from now, Bill would have his own little small human that needed him. His heart felt like it was going to explode.

“She’ll be sitting up and rolling over by herself soon,” Eddie was still speaking with the soft, sweet, and utterly loving voice. An absolutely devastating love voice, something so pure that Bill almost didn’t recognize his old friend. “She can already sit up by herself for short periods of time, with help from a pillow. It still makes Rich a little nervous, he’d never let her out of his or my arms _ever_ if I’d let him get away with it.”

“Wait, wait,” Bill closed his eyes and shook his head. “I don’t understand. You and Richie just adopted a freaking kid one day?”

Eddie made an odd face. “I mean… it’s a lot longer and more tedious a process than just ‘adopted a freaking kid one day’ but yeah. But most agencies aren’t too keen on un-conventical relationships.” Eddie rolled his eyes and Elii made a dirty look over his shoulder, but Bill sort of thought it was a little understandable that the government didn’t just hand over children to random dudes sharing an apartment in New York. “Marty here was a little bit easier to get all sorted out because we already had Frankie-“

Bill made an odd noise. “Who… is Frankie?”

“You didn’t see her downstairs?” Eddie asked innocently. “She, Maggie and Richie are doing finger paints until Rich needs to go to dinner with his dad. She’s just turned three and she’s got Richie absolutely whipped-“

“Okay, stop, I don’t understand.” Bill rubbed at his temples. “You and Richie adopted two kids? Two _actual human children_ and this never came up? Not the entire time we’ve all been hanging out since showing back up in Derry, discussing our lives? Your _two children_ with your high school best friend didn’t seem like might be relevant to those conversations?”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Elii said from where she was pressed beside Eddie, letting Marty grab her fingers in her tiny baby hands. Eddie hushed her.

“Richie and I discussed it at lengths,” Eddie said. “We thought it would be best to keep it private, since we didn’t know how any of you would react.”

Bill nodded slowly, chuckling. “Well… I imagine your and Rich’s dating lives are pretty dead with these two sharing your apartment. Don’t you get sick of only having each other around?”

Eddie and Elii glanced at each other in mutual looks of disbelief.

**→  →  →**

Ben Hanscom pulled his rental car over to the side of the road, and pressed his forehead against the steering wheel. When he glanced up and looked at the _WELCOME TO DERRY_ sign that was taunting him. The car dealership in Portland, Maine had a partner branch in New York where he’d planned to return the car once he got home, but his brain seemed to have other plans and found himself driving back to Derry. It was amazing the hold of a town he hadn’t thought of in near-on a decade had on him.

Or maybe it wasn’t the town, Ben thought to himself as he looked over to the passenger seat at his Motorola cell phone. Beverly had personally placed her direct line in the hotel room she was staying in as they’d parted ways at the reunion last night. He’d opened the contact seven times since then, but had yet to make the call.

Taking the phone, he pressed call before he could talk himself out of it. It rang once, twice, three times before Beverly’s voice came to him. “Hello?”

“You know the funniest thing just happened to me,” Ben said, smiling to himself. “I paid for a taxi from here to Portland and rented myself a car. Was gonna head back to New York tonight and then I found myself staring at the Derry town sign. What do you make of that?”

Beverly hummed on the other line. “I don’t know, Benny. You’re the one who’s supposed to be good at symbolism, not me.”

“I think you’re mixing me up with Bill,” Ben chuckled. “He’s the writer.”

“You’ve got a heart of a poet, my dear Ben,” Beverly said. “Always have.”

Ben bit back a smile. _Your hair is winter fire. January embers. My heart burns there too._ He never knew if Beverly figured out that letter had been from him, all those years ago, but he’d never really tried to hide his poetic side the older they got. “Maybe. But I still couldn’t tell you what I’m doing back here.”

“Well…” Beverly hummed on the other side of the line. “Even if you don’t know you’re here, if you plan on staying I won’t be doing anything and this hotel room is surprisingly nice for downtown Derry. And I’ve got wine.”

“Can’t say I’m much of a wine drinker,” Ben laughed.

“I’ve also got whiskey.”

“Sold. See you in ten.”

**→  →  →**

Richie ducked into the room, with a small giggling girl wearing pigtails on his shoulders. Her legs swung out as Richie moved, kicking him in the chest on the backswing, but he didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. “How are things going in here- Ah.”

Elii had dropped herself onto the bed, but Eddie and Bill were both still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room with Marty in Eddie’s arms. Bill eyed the little girl on Richie’s shoulders as though she was going to morph into some sort of monster and swallow him whole. Richie backed up to the bed and let Frankie drop off his shoulders onto the mattress. The girl immediately crawled over to her aunt and mimicked how Elii was laying.

Eddie smiled softly at his girl before turning to Bill. He stepped closer with the small bundle in his arms. “Come on, you can hold her.”

Bill cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yeah, no, that’s uh- that’s okay. I’ll just watch from over here.”

“Dude, come on,” Richie rolled his eyes. He’d changed out his paint splattered clothes into a nice clean shirt and pressed jeans. “I have a dinner with Went in like… fifteen minutes. I’m not leaving here until you grow a pair of balls and hold my freaking baby.”

“Watch your words,” Eddie said softly, moving closer to Bill but eyeing Richie carefully.

“Wash your words,” Frankie called from the bed in a matching tone, not looking up from the stuffed toy she was dancing in Elii’s face. Eddie and Richie both beamed at the little girl before turning their attention back to Bill.

“I….” Bill stuttered. “I don’t know how to hold a baby.”

“Like a football,” Richie told him with a shrug. Eddie glared at him as a nervous Bill accepted the sleeping Marty. Just to promptly start to tuck the baby under his arm.

“NO!” Eddie, Richie and Elii all shouted in unison. Frankie’s eyes went wide as she looked around the room, Bill startled and released little Marty. Richie took a mad leap forward, catching the cooing child and dropping to sit crossed legged on the ground. He pulled Marty to his chest and rocked her. Eddie had his hands pressed over his mouth, and Elii and Frankie were staring up at him with looks of surprise.

“Dude…” Richie said, shaking his head and letting out a nervous laugh. “You’re so fucked.”

**→  →  →**

Ben walked up to the outside door of Beverly’s apartment and knocked once. Beverly pulled the door open immediately, red hair tied up messily on the top of her head while rocking an oversized Bates College and flannel pajamas. Her feet were tucked into fuzzy bunny slippers straight out of the 1980s. She was as beautiful as she had ever been.

She beamed at him, moving forward to throw her arms around his shoulders. She still smelled like vanilla extract and Marlboros, even after all these years. “I’m so glad you came back, I feel like I barely even saw you my whole trip!”

“Well…” Ben snickered, leaning back and grinning at her. “You and Richie did disappear not even half an hour into the night and came back completely sloshed.”

Beverly shrugged, smiling up towards him. “What can I say? It’s me and Rich.”

“Rekindling the old flame?” Ben asked as Beverly ushered him into her hotel room. She was right about it being nice. It was no big city 5-star suite, but it was clean and the bed was large and it was heated. That was already more than Ben would have expected from some downtown Derry motel.

“Hardly,” Beverly scoffed, grabbing the bottle of amber liquid and two plastic cups from the beside table and sitting down. She patted beside her on the bed and Ben sat down. “I think uh…” Beverly poured out the liquid and waggled her brows at Ben. “I think he’s married.”

“Huh.” Ben said, accepting the extra cup from Beverly. He thought back to what he’d seen on Rich’s Facebook page, the implication of a long-term relationship. “You know that actually makes sense.” Beverly took a long sip of the drink, eyeing Ben over the rim of the cup. “When Mike got in contact with us all, I looked up Rich on the Facebook. He doesn’t get too deep into life, it’s mostly about his work, but there is some stuff that made me think he was in some sort of serious relationship.”

Beverly leaned back against the pillows and dropped her feet into Ben’s lap. It had been years since they’d sat like this together, but they fell back into the position like riding a bike. She smiled up at him. “Enough about Tozier and his secrets. Tell me about yours.”

Ben drank deeply and then sighed. “My life is actually pretty boring, Bev. Crap apartment in the scuds of New York, working myself half to death just for the chance to get my dream. And before you ask- no. There’s nobody special. Don’t really have time for dating these days.”

Beverly smiled at him. “You never did give yourself enough credit, Benny. We’re still young, I bet you’ll be raising the skyline of Manhattan with buildings soon enough.”

“Thanks, Bev,” Ben smiled bashfully, scratching behind his ear. “But you… you’re married, huh? What’s that like?”

Beverly rolled her eyes. “You know what I said to Richie last night- you know, before we were too drunk for our words to not matter anymore? That he was the only good guy I’ve ever dated… and I was only fucking fifteen. Tom he’s…. he’s not a bad guy, he’s not. I’ve just been thinking that maybe we’re not the best match. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”

Ben nodded, pursing his lips. “Are you leaving him?”

Beverly shrugged one shoulder, taking in the rest of her drink and Ben followed suit. “I don’t know. Rich offered me to stay with him if I decide to.”

“Living with Eddie and Richie?” Ben chuckled. “Sounds like a riot.”

Beverly beamed. “I think it sounds amazing. I just can’t believe they kept in contact this whole time. It’s wild, nobody else did.”

“Some people had their reasons,” Ben said airily and Beverly nodded as she refilled their cups. “I mean, you saw Richie and Stan last night. Not that I can really blame Rich.”

Beverly nodded, knocking back half her drink. “It was a shitty thing… but it was a shitty thing ten years ago. Sometimes you need to let things go to heal from them.”

“Let’s all speak from experience there,” Ben chuckled darkly. He and Beverly both lifted their plastic cups and clinked them together.

“Enough of this,” Beverly chugged back the rest of her drink and adjusted to sit crossed legged in front of Ben. Watching Beverly finish her drink pulled at something deep in Ben’s subconscious, and he took his whole cup in one gulp. Beverly raised her brow, undeniably impressed. “You a big drinker, Mr Hanscom?”

Ben chuckled. “I can out drink even the best of men, Miss Marsh.”

A small, bashful smile across her face at Ben’s use of her maiden name. Maybe she’d grown up ready to escape that name, tied of being connected to her father, but hearing it brought a small thrill to her chest. Whether the name itself- or the person who was using it- Beverly didn’t really know.

Her head was swimming from drinking so quickly- and the two glasses of wine she’d had before Ben had called her- and she knew she wasn’t exactly thinking straight. “I had a crush on you in high school, did I ever tell you that?”

Ben’s eyes went wide. “I.. what?”

“Yeah,” Beverly chuckled drunkenly. “After Richie and I broke up, I was so confused, I.. didn’t know what happened. One day things were fine, the next they were just… over. And you… were so supportive through the whole thing but I… I chalked up my feelings for you to a rebound. Because I sad about Rich and you were there for me.”

Ben’s eyes danced from one of Beverly’s eyes to the other, heart racing and entire body filled with a strong unsure feeling. It was words he’d imagined- he’d dreamed- for years as an adolescent, but they never came from a drunk Beverly Marsh. A drunk, married Beverly Marsh.

“Ben, I-“ Beverly swayed forward, pressing a hand to Ben’s cheek and exhaled hardly. “I….’m gonna puke."

She barely managed to grab the waste basket before throwing up, Ben laughing and pulling back her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME ON SEMI CHARMED LIFE: Mike smiled against the phone. "It's big, you know? I'm starting my life over completely from scratch and I just... it'll be nice to have somebody there."
> 
> Eddie leaned against his kitchen counter, phone pressed against his ear. "Welcome to the Big Apple. Nothing is ever going to be the same again."


	4. IT's the Big Apple

Stanley Uris let his forehead press against the car window as the Georgia landscape whizzed past them, Patty occasionally glancing towards her fiancée and smiling to herself. Ben Hanscom was reading a newspaper outside the car rental store, sun shining on his face and smile on his lips at the lingering smell of vanilla on his clothes. Bill Denbrough wadded through the multiples of unpacked cardboard boxes, and knocked on the locked bedroom door at the end of the hallway. Mike Hanlon dropped a couple quarters into a payphone in Metro station and punched in the number he had written on the ripped napkin.

Richie Kaspbrak had his three year daughter tossed over his shoulder, rushing through the family’s New York townhouse making over-excited airplane sounds. Frankie shrieked in joy as her father dipped her suddenly, Eddie smiling happily as he reached out and answered the ringing telephone. “Hello, you’ve reached the Kaspbraks’.”

Mike gave the payphone an odd smile as Eddie’s phone came through. “Hey, uh, Eddie? It’s Mike.”

“Mike!” Eddie cried in a sharp, pitchy voice. Richie looked up from where he was dangling Frankie upside down and gave his husband an amused smile. “I take it if you’re calling that you made it into the city alright then!”

Mike laughed nervously, looking around the barely moving ridiculous traffic and the buildings that were nearly so large that Mike wasn’t sure if he was really even seeing the tops of them. He certainly wasn’t in Maine. “I sure hope so, or I’ve crossed over into some terrible alternate dimension of Derry that I really don’t want to give that much thought into.”

Eddie laughed with him over the line, as the buzzer signally the ringing of their door bell rang through their home. “What is this, Grand Central Station?” Richie laughed as he tossed a giggling Frankie onto their couch like a football in the touchdown zone. “I’ll get it.”

Eddie nodded at his husband as he turned his attention back to his conversation. “Good, good. You’ve still got a few hours before meeting with the real state agent your work gave you, right? You going to do any big city exploring before then?”

Mike gave a nervous chuckle, smiling against the phone. “I don’t know. It’s just… big, you know? I’m starting my life over from scratch. I just… It’ll be nice to do these things with somebody there.”

Eddie leaned against his kitchen counter, phone pressed against his ear. “Welcome to the Big Apple. Nothing is ever going to be the same again.”

Richie padded to the front door, his tiny toddle of a daughter hurrying in her small legs to keep up with her daddy. He turned the handle and yanked the door open, taking in the person standing on his front step with their whole life surrounding them in suitcases.

Beverly Marsh looked up at him from under her lashes, fiddling with the straps on a backpack that Richie recognized from high school. “Is your and Eddie’s invitation for a place to stay still open?”

**→  →  →**

“Baby….” Bill banged his head against the locked bedroom door. “Will you please open the door? We need to talk about this.” The silence on the other edge make the anxiety in Bill’s stomach swill and sour, making the man unable to ignore how he was now only moments away from reducing to his childhood stutter. “Please, Audra. _Please.”_

It had been radio silence from his pregnant girlfriend since Bill had told her the night before that he was setting out from Derry. The conversations had been dim and unlively since she’d taken off to their New York apartment in the middle of the night, but Audra had not answered the phone even one time since hanging up on Bill with a simple “ _Okay”_ as he told her he was ready to come to their new home. It seemed the Bill having finally arrived hadn’t changed his girlfriend’s stance on potentially never speaking to him ever again.

Bill kicked lightly at one of the boxes closest to him and let out a frustrated sigh. “Okay, I know you’re in there because I saw you run from the kitchen into the room as soon as I opened the front door. I literally heard you turn the lock, and that’s really immature, I might add-“

The door flew open and his girlfriend was suddenly glaring angrily up at him. Bill’s heart lurched in chest, even knowing the fight they were about to half, and the struggles they were about to face, he’d missed the hell out of his girlfriend and seeing her still took of his breath away every time. For the first time since he’d been told, the thought that this beautiful woman he loved was carrying his child gave him a spark of excitement instead of a spark dread.

“Baby…” Bill whispered.

Audra’s eyes sparkled up at him. “Don’t you baby me because I’m only realizing right now how much I fucking missed you and I’m trying to be pissed at you!”

Bill cupped the side of Audra’s face, pressing their foreheads together. “Let’s put that anger on pause, fuck now and fight later?”

Audra giggled and leapt up to wrap her legs around Bill’s waist. “I guess that _is_ how we should break in our new apartment.”

“I fucking love the way you think, baby.”

**→  →  →**

Beverly leaned over the side of crib, peering down at the sleeping baby inside. She furrowed her brow and tilted it to the side. “So this is…” She started.

“Yep.” Richie confirmed.

“And you and Eddie…”

“Yep.”

“Huh.” Beverly stepped away from the sleeping child, running her fingers through her tangled red hair.  “And how long have you been….”

“Well, we met in 1982 so give or take…” Richie cleared his throat awkwardly. “Thirteen years this November.”

Beverly’s mouth dropped open as her mind went spiraling. “Thirteen… Wait, wait, _wait._ You guys were together in _high school?_ What the fuck, why didn’t you…”

“Tell you?” Richie bitterly. “Bev, I adore you but it took you almost six months to even speak to me again after we broke up. The last thing I wanted to add onto that was ‘oh, hey, also I’m gay.’”

Beverly let out a small laugh, rolling her eyes at her friend. “You know, that might have made it better. If you’d told me that you liked Eddie, I definitely would have believed you. I didn’t cross my mind back then but now that I’m looking back at it- it adds up a lot of shit.”

“Ha ha ha,” Richie mocked laughed, but the amusement in his eyes was real. Tossing an arm around Beverly’s shoulders, he lead the girl back to the kitchen where Eddie was holding up two packages of pasta in front of Frankie’s face.

“Just pick one,” Eddie said in calm voice, a voice that Richie instantly recognized as _I’m about to loose my shit with this fucking child_ and he grinned. “Bow ties or shells.”

“I want bow ties AND shells!” Frankie cheered, reaching out for the bags with gabby hands. Eddie clenched his jaw and widened his eyes, Richie ducking in and swooping the now-giggling girl into his arms.

“Come on, Franks. Bowties are your favourites! Why don’t we just make those and we can have shells another night?” Richie asked her, balancing the little girl on his hip.

Frankie furrowed her brow and smacked at Richie’s chest. “Don’t call me _Franks,_ Daddy! You know I hate that!” Beverly raised her brow at Richie as Eddie chuckled under his breath.

**→  →  →**

Patty ducked back into the apartment, two bags of take out food in her hands. Stanley had been mostly silent the entire ride back to the city and she chalked up to Stanley’s dislike for travelling. Back home now, in their half packed up apartment, and Stan still hadn’t said anything, and Patty felt her anxiety rising.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Patty asked, unpacking the food onto their table. Stan looked up at her, frowning slightly. “And don’t tell me that you’re fine, because we both know what a terrible liar you are. You’ve been practically mute since we left Derry, so please tell what’s going on. I’m worried.”

“I…” Stan shook his head. “I guess it’s just… Richie. I think there was a part of me that really thought I’d go to this reunion and everything would be sorted out. I’m just sort of struggling with knowing there’s really nothing I could do to make it up to him.”

Patty sat down across from him, beginning to pick at the food. “I can’t help you feel better or worse when I don’t know what happened, baby.”

Stan let out a shaky breath. “In our senior year of high school, I tried to kill myself.” Patty’s eyes blew wide but Stan carried on right over. “I’d fought with depression since middle school, but Richie and my parents are the only people who knew about my attempt because…” Stan cleared his breath. “Richie found me that day. He saved my life.”

“And that’s why you stopped being friends?” Patty asked slowly. “Because that’s not on you, Stan, if he-“

“No.” Stan interrupted, looking tortured. “No, but that’s what started it all. And that’s why I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I did to him.”

**→  →  →**

“What do you think?”

Mike looked around the small apartment. Very small, even smaller than he’d expected and he felt his heart sink. There was no way they’d be able to have a Golden retriever in this apartment, but he couldn’t possibly ask for more from a job he hadn’t even started at yet. A job that was already putting themselves out for him more than they needed to, when they could simply hired another person for the job. Blinking back tears, Mike smiled at the real estate agent. “It’s perfect. Thank you so much.”

She beamed at him. “That’s wonderful! I’m go glad, we’ll just go over some paper work and this place is yours. Your girlfriend is coming up to live with you as well?”

Mike forced a smile. “My partner is back in my hometown, we’re still putting a few things into place for the move. It was more than a little unexpected.”

“Life is like that sometimes,” the real estate started unpacking papers from her brief case. “But I think you’ll find the most sudden of changes are sometimes the best ones.”

Mike nodded, thinking of Alexander back in Derry. He couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t true.

**→  →  →**

Ben opened the door to his apartment, sighing as he pulled his jacket tighter around him. His landlord had turned on the buildings’ air conditioning mid-April and Ben’s home was always freezing. The walls were a bare, ugly grey and if Ben himself didn’t know he lived there- he’d assume nobody did. The amount of time Ben Hanscom spent in his office, he knew that he might as well live there- and this apartment was just for appearance. For the occasional days off or the even more rare time that Ben got out of work early enough to sleep in his own bed instead of hutched over a desk.

Rubbing sleepily at his eyes, Ben stumbled through his apartment and thought- not for the first time- that maybe he should get a dog. There was an loneliness in Ben Hanscom’s heart that he once been used to- a sadness that he hadn’t realized he’d had because he’d never known anything differently- until he’d moved to Derry. Meeting the Losers had shown Ben a life of friends and connection, and it was something he’d once more forgotten about until this weekend. The loneliness was settled deep in his chest now.

His phone had six messages from his trip to Derry, even though he’d been gone through weeks and weeks of getting approval for the time off. The last one was from his direct superior, Robert Gray. A very brief, straight-to-the-point demand. _Be in your seat at 7 am on Monday morning or don’t bother showing up again._ Ben sighed, looking up as the clock hit midnight and gave up on having dinner for what he knew wouldn’t be the last time this week.

As he hung up his jacket, Ben pulled the folded paper out of his pocket. _mrsbeverlyrogan@hotmail.com._ Sighing, Ben crumbled the paper up and dropped into his waste paper basket as he walked past it.

**→  →  →**

Patty pulled her sleeves up over her hands and pressed her face against them. She and Stan were sitting side by side on the living room floor, Stan’s face wet with tears and eyes pleading. Patty swallowed at the sick feeling in her stomach and looked at her fiancée.

“I’m not going to lie to you,” she said slowly. “What you did… is not good. But baby, you aren’t what you did ten years ago. If Richie can never forgive you for it, then I guess we can’t blame that. You told me yourself what a bad place you were in then, and while it doesn’t excuse it, I just… the Stanley Uris I know would never do that.” Stan looked away, face burning with shame but Patty reached out and grasped at his hands. “And I think the reason it hurts you and it hurt Richie _so much_ was because the Stanley Uris he knew would never have done it either.”

Stan and Patty held each other’s gaze for a long time, Stan’s body trembling from the unexpected support. He had given all his thought to having her turn her on back on her the way Richie had the day he’d found it, expecting to see a mirror of Eddie Kaspbrak’s horror in Patty’s eyes and suffer the brutal slap of Bill Denbrough’s words come from her mouth.

“If you want to mend things with your friend,” she said slowly. “You need to prove that you’re not the person who did that. If your friendship was real as you believe it was, he’ll see that someday. But you’ll have to put in effort.”

Stan leaned his head onto Patty’s shoulder and her wraps went around him.

**→  →  →**

“I know,” Mike said into the phone, squeezing his eyes shut as he leaning against the pay phone outside his building. “I don’t know what else to do.”

The line was quiet on the other side, if it wasn’t for the persistent barking of Henry in the background Mike would almost think Alexander had hung up on him. Hell, Mike wouldn’t have blamed him if he had. “I’m not sure what you want to say here, Mike. Do you want to give up Henry?”

“You know I don’t,” Mike said, the sound of his puppy barking in the background making his heart hurt. “What if… What if you stayed on the farm for a while? My dad is supposed to move into the home on Wednesday but until I figure out something in New York, just stay there with Henry? You haven’t left your job yet, we could just-“

“Do long distance?” Alexander asked through the phone line. “Mike everybody knows what that’s like, the cost it has on relationships-“

“It’s not forever,” Mike pleaded. “It’s just until something else comes along. Just until I find a way to fix all this.”

Alexander sighed. “Alright, Mike. I’m with you.”  

**→  →  →**

 

Audra wrapped her bathrobe around her naked form and turned to face Bill as he struggled into a pair of pajamas pants. “Do you want me to get an abortion?”

Bill startled, tripping and nearly falling onto the bedroom floor. Audra watched him with a blank expression. Bill’s answer came to him without a moment of hesitation. “What? No. Of course not.”

Audra looked relieved for a spilt second, then her frown returned. “We’re going to have to change things. You know I love your writing, Bill, but hopes and dreams won’t pay for a baby. We need to get a real jobs, we have to get our shit together. Or… or maybe we’re not ready, I get that, I do, I didn’t really plan to-“

Bill came forward, pulling Audra against his chest. “I know. I know, I started looking at jobs in New York while we were in still in Derry. I’m fucking terrified, okay? But I’m serious about us, about our lives together. Maybe this isn’t exactly planned, but I think it’s what’s meant to happen.”

Audra laughed wetly, wiping at the tears falling from her eyes. “You know, for a dumbass, sometimes you say exactly the right thing.”

Bill beamed and kissed the top of her head.

**→  →  →**

The Kaspbrak house was quiet as Beverly came out from unpacking as much of her belongings as she could fit into Eddie and Richie’s spare room. She came into the living room, smiling at the sight. Richie was fast asleep on the couch, baby Marty resting in his arms with Eddie asleep pressed beside him, leg draped around waist. Frankie was curled on Richie’s other side, half disappearing into the couch cushions, with her baby sister’s little hand dropped onto her forehead.

Grabbing the camera off the coffee table, Beverly snapped the quick photo and smiled at the warm feeling in her chest. Maybe this life wasn’t the one she’d thought she’d ever life, but right now it felt exactly where she belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME ON SEMI CHARMED LIFE: Richie came forward and grabbed Beverly's cheeks. "Listen.... If I don't get dicked real fucking soon, I might actually loose my fucking mind."


	5. IT's just settling in

Richie rolled over, smiling at the smooth comfort of his large duvet, as he pulled the sleeping form of his husband closer to his chest. He knew that starting just next week, he wasn’t going to be able to enjoy the long known comfort of slowly falling asleep next to Eddie, something he’d gotten overly used to within the last ten years. Ever since moving into that simple, rat-ass New York apartment that housed them only for a few months before they realized how much money they were wasting on a two-bedroom place, Richie and Eddie had spent every night side by side. There was, of course, always those few exceptions- when Richie’s parents had divorced, and Eddie hadn’t been able to go back to Derry as a support system because of his work, or when Eddie had gone out of town for a weekends for car shows and Richie couldn’t follow him like a trophy husband- but the couple had spent the majority of their adults lives sharing their bed.

At the start of next week, Richie would be switching over to the late show at his radio station. It was going to mean many more late nights, working until 2 or 3 in the morning depending, but it was huge raise and Rich Records finally moving onto his own show, run and controlled completely by himself. His music, his words, all his choices. It was an absolutely amazing opportunity, something that really pushes Richie’s career. He’d been offered the position almost half a year earlier, but when it had put in front of him he and Eddie had been in the process of adopting Marty and Richie had turned it down without question. There was no possibility of Richie switching over to working nights with a newborn baby in the house. The DJ they’d hired when Richie turned the job down hadn’t worked out, and when Richie received the offer once again he and Eddie had been in agreement: you didn’t turn a career altering promotion down twice.

As his start date loomed closer, Richie thought on it more and more. Wondered if he made the right choice, giving up his nights with Eddie. They were going to be saving a bundle on childcare- what with Beverly staying with them now, and Richie now being home during the day- but Eddie’s baby-leave from work was ending around the same time Richie was starting on nights… and with sleeping Eddie in his arms now, Richie was already mourning something he hadn’t lost yet.

Even asleep, Eddie Kaspbrak would gravitate towards Richie’s touch. The second Richie’s arms had tightened around him, Eddie had nuzzled into Richie’s neck and shifted his legs so they tangled together in the sheets. Richie felt almost as though his heart was vibrating, marvelling at how after twelve years in a relationship that Eddie Kaspbrak could still make him feel like a thirteen year old with a crush.

Eddie let out a small huff, blinking up at Richie and smiling sleepily. “How long have you been up?”

“Not long,” Richie hummed, rubbing soft circles into Eddie’s back. “Seems like our little babies gave into the subliminal messages I left them to bother Bev in the mornings instead of us.”

Eddie laughed. “Baby, I love you, but I don’t think you’re smart enough to just plant subliminal messages into the minds of our children.”

“Childs minds are very vulnerable,” Richie said wisely, leaning in to press feather light kisses to just below Eddie’s ear.

Eddie hummed, the small conversation about their children’s possible mind control long forgotten as Richie’s lips trailed lower. His arms came up to wrap around Richie’s neck and pull his husband closer, pressing their lips together and pushing their chests flush to one another. Richie would almost be embarrassed at how quickly he was reacting, but he could definitely reason it out to himself that they hadn’t had sex since before leaving for Derry… and it was a scarce enough occasion then, as well. A fussy newborn was twice as hard when you also had a hyper-active toddler to chase after all day long. Sex definitely became something that was put on the back burner, but never forgotten.

Richie gripped Eddie’s hips and rolled them so Eddie was settled on top of him. Eddie leaned onto his elbows, grinning almost wolfishly down at him. “Oh? It’s like that today, is it?”

Richie blew a kiss and rocked his rapidly hardening cock against Eddie’s thigh. “Let’s be real, isn’t it always?”

Eddie laughed breathily, leaning down to lock his teeth against Richie’s pulse point. Richie’s smothered a moan, and started rocking his hips upwards faster as their bedroom door banged open. “Rich- shit!”

Beverly cupped her hands over her mouth and turned away quickly. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. Jesus fucking- I am sorry.” Eddie was already rolling off of Richie and Richie couldn’t hold back his groan. “I just… I wasn’t sure how to do Marty’s bottle and I… I’m sorry, you can… finish, I-“

“I think it’s safe to say this is finished,” Richie said as he tumbled out of bed. Eddie let his gaze travel down his husbands body as Richie moved from the room, then muffled a loud groan into pillows that smelled like them.

**→  →  →**

Mike walked behind his supervisor who was talking a mile a minute. It was only his first day, but it certainly felt as though they thought he’d been here for years on years. “I know it’s only your first day,” the supervisor whose name Mike had either forgotten or had never been told in the first place. “That’s why we’re putting you in with Spencer. He usually does the tours for the high school students, which you’ll be tagging along on today.”

Mike nodded, having to wonder if was the normal fashion in which a high price train their new employees: by dropping them completely on their heads and hoping no damage comes to them. Mike saw the high schoolers then, standing around in groups and talking amongst themselves. There was no sign of leadership outside of the teachers who stood around with them, openly more excited for the class tour than the students were. Panic prickled at Mike’s chest as he approached. “Hi, I- I’m Mike,” he said, not knowing what the appropriate term of introduction would even be. He thought to himself once again at how completely untrained he was for this job, thinking on how this must be what a baby birds were like- tossed out of the nest whether they knew how to fly or not.  

A sandy-haired boy who, admittedly looked too old to be in a high school field trip, stepped forward and flashed Mike a quality smile. “What are you going to be showing us today? Like, why should I even give a shit about this tour?”

Mike stalled, eyes going wide, as whispers moved through the group of students. He knew he was supposed to be professional in this sort of situation- explain the tour, explain the great interests of history, the importance it held in the lives they were living now. The issue now, of course, was that Mike had no idea what tour he was supposed to be giving and it made it quite hard to be professional when he was thrust into a job he didn’t know how to do.

“We, uh-“ Mike cleared his throat, feeling his whole body begin to go hot. His heart raced in his chest and he was about thirty seconds away from dropping this job, and going back to Alexander and Derry right then. “We’re doing our tour on… Uh-“

“You don’t know?” The guy sneered, stepping towards him. Mike’s stomach twisted up uncomfortably and he truly thought for a moment that he might throw up everywhere. “What kind of tour guide, are you?”

“It’s…” Mike swallowed harshly. “It’s my first day, I don’t… I wasn’t told that I’d even be _doing_ a tour until about thirty seconds ago. There’s supposed to be higher up, but they’re not here yet or they’re late…”

“No,” the guy smirked. “They’re not late.” He walked from the crowd and moved to stand beside Mike. “Hey guys, I’m Spencer. I’m going to be your guide today, you already know Mike, and we’ll be visiting our Mesopotamia exhibits today. You’ll have an opportunity to do some group searching everywhere, however-“

Mike watched his partner lead the groups of high schoolers off with his mouth dropped open.

**→  →  →**

“I could go back to school,” Beverly said mildly, tapping a sloppy heart cut from red construction paper to Richie’s nose. Richie raised his eyebrows at her as best he could with drawings taped all over his face.

“Go back to school for what?” Eddie asked, his head resting in Richie’s lap and grinning up as his husbands’ face quickly became invisible beneath colourful paper. Frankie was half hung over Beverly’s shoulders, pointing out the exact places that Bev should be placing the drawings on Richie.

“I don’t know,” Beverly admitted. “But I’m twenty seven years old, probably soon to be divorced and unemployed. I can’t just live here forever, mooching off my high school friends.”

Eddie frowned at Beverly. “You can stay here for as long you want, Beverly, you know that. But I would suggest maybe, finding even the simplest of jobs. Wait tables, work in some customer service. Yeah, it fucking sucks but… when was the last time you worked, Bev? You certainly made it sound like your husband ties together everything.”

Bev nodded. “I had a part time job in college, but when Tom and I decided to get married, I dropped out of school and from the job. Tom made more than enough money to support the two of us, he was good that way. I could focus on my art and clothing… it’s still something I want to do, honestly, but-“

“Then do it.” Richie said fiercely. “You think _anybody_ except Eds supported my ‘I want to be a DJ’ pipedream? Of course not. I mean, failing to graduate high school really made people realize that an academic world wasn’t really for me, but…”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Bev and Eddie said together, Eddie with old-bitter anger still in his voice but Beverly as though it was simple fact of life. Something that couldn’t be helped. Richie supposed it was closer to what was true than the anger Eddie held, the resentment that had rebirthed itself in Richie. Eddie continued speaking, however. “And you went got your GED. You graduated, Rich. Anybody who wants to act otherwise isn’t good enough to be part of your life.”

Beverly pressed a small yellow circle that might have been a sun to Richie’s still-freckled cheek and smiled at him. “You went and got your GED?” The last time Beverly had spoken to Richie before their reunion had been a twenty minute phone call on Richie’s twentieth birthday, where he’d ranted on about the corruption of the education system and how he’d never go back.

A small bashful smile came over Richie’s face, and his eyes flittered up to the little girl who was falling asleep on Beverly’s shoulders. “Three and a half years ago, when Eds and I first started talking about adoption. I wanted our baby to have two parents they could be proud of.”

Beverly’s heart panged painfully in her chest, glancing down at where Eddie was staring up at Richie with burning eyes. Unwelcome and unwanted, thoughts of Tom came into her mind. How for as long as she’d thought she’d love her husband, there had never been a love between them like she was seeing between Richie and Eddie in this simple moment. Never mind the moments that she hadn’t looked at growing up, but couldn’t help but see now. She wasn’t sure anybody had ever looked at her like that, not even Richie when they were together, but there was a small tingle in the back of her mind. A forgotten poem, a crush that carried years… But what was forgotten wasn’t quite remembered just yet, and the burning in Beverly’s heart didn’t yet have a known source.

**→  →  →**

Ben Hanscom had decided that if he walked any farther, he may collapse and never get back up. Sighing, he sat down on the white marble steps and looked up at the sky. The sun seemed redder than normal, and he wondered if he could stare at it long enough it would give him the answer to finding happiness in life.

“Ben?” A voice that was familiar but all so random carried over to him. Ben whipped around and saw Bill Denbrough walking towards him, hand-in-hand with a beautiful dark haired girl. “Why are you sitting on the side of the road?”

“I’m considering quitting my job and moving here,” Ben said, only half joking. “But it’s not very comfortable.”

Bill raised his eyebrows at the woman who could only be Audra, and Ben allowed himself a moment to be happy that his friend had worked things out with the woman he loved before reverting back to his resolution to feel as very little as possible.

Then Bill was crouching beside him and resting his chin on his fist. “How you doing, buddy?”

How was it that Ben Hanscom could have lived in the same city as Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak and Beverly Marsh for the last five years and not run into them once but Bill Denbrough had moved here only less than a week earlier and he was already finding Ben sitting on the street, at his lowest?

Ben let out a soft puff of air. “I think Derry broke me.”

Bill nodded as though no sentence had ever made more sense in the world.

**→  →  →**

Mike stuffed his belongings into his bag, knowing how aggressive his posture was but not being able to find it in himself to give a damn about it. If this was his first day, then he suddenly wasn’t so confident in his decisions to uproot his entire life to move here. At least at the Derry Library, he hadn’t been being treated like utter shit.

“First day?” A female voice carried over to him, startling Mike out of his funk. A beautiful dark-skinned woman was smiling sympathetically at him. “You’ve got the _they paired me with Spencer on my first day_ look all over you.”

Mike sighed and rolled his eyes. “So, he treats everybody that horribly?”

The girl chuckled. “I’m not sure what he did, but I still feel safe in answering with a yes. Spencer Pearsons doesn’t believe in easing people into it. He’s more of a sink or swim kind of dude.”

Mike shook his head, rubbing at his cheeks. “Yeah. I got that much. Dude’s a dick.”

The girl patted him on the shoulder, still grinning. “You’re still here.” She pointed out, nodding towards the clock. “  
You made it through a day with Spencer Pearsons, which is more than can be said about the mass majority of new hires. So what’s it’s going to be?”

Mike shook his head, frowning. “What do you mean?”

“Are you going to sink… or are you going to swim?”

**→  →  →**

Richie pulled back the shower curtains, pressing a hand to Eddie’s mouth before his husband could let out the scream that Richie knew was bubbling up in his chest. Richie slid in behind him and pulled Eddie’s back flush to his chest. Eddie let out a small sigh, hand coming up behind him to tangle in Richie’s damping hair.

“If I recall…” Richie whispered against Eddie’s cheek. “We got interrupted this morning.”

Eddie whimpered as Richie’s hands moved down Eddie’s stomach towards his rapidly growing arousal. Eddie tugged at Richie’s now-full wet curls, and squeezed his closed. Just as Richie’s hand moved to curl around Eddie’s member, they both jumped apart at the sound of the bathroom door smashing open.

“Pops!” Frankie’s little voice carried over to them. Their daughter knew enough about privacy not to pull back the curtain- the same way she now knew to stop trying to take her pants off in public, no matter how much she hated them- but didn’t keep Eddie and Richie’s hearts from launching into their throats. “Pops, are you almost done? You promise we would make cookies today and it’s already 4 on the clock!”

Eddie sighed, leaning his head against Richie’s shoulder and giving his husband an apologetic frown. “Yeah, Frankie. Almost done. I’ll be right out.”

“Okay…” The little girl said, pausing for a moment. Then. “Daddy, do you wanna me to bring you your ‘pecial curly shampoo? You weft the new bottle in your room.”

Eddie covered his face with his hands, and tried to ignore the way his husband’s body was shaking behind him with laughter. “Nah, Franks, that’s all good. Why don’t you go find Bev and get her to help grab all the ingredients for the cookies, yeah?”

Little footsteps padded towards the bathroom door. “Don’t call me Franks!” Came the shrill shriek of laughter before the door slammed shut. Eddie likely would’ve sunk completely to the shower floor if Richie’s arms hadn’t been holding him up.

“That’s it,” Eddie said dramatically. “We are never having sex again, we’re going to traumatize our daughter.”

Richie giggled. “Nah, we’re just going to traumatize her just enough that she’s funny. She doesn’t even know enough about the world to think of what’s happening here. She’s just a born cock block.”

Eddie slipped out of Richie’s arms and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “To be continued?”

Richie rolled his eyes. “In eighteen years?”

“If we’re lucky.”

**→  →  →**

Ben slammed the shot glass back down on the bar table and turned to point at Audra. “Your boyfriend is a dumbass.”

Bill made a loud, offended noise while Audra let out a high pitched, almost angelic giggle. “Oh, I’m aware. Definitely aware.”

“Wow,” Bill muttered under his breath, taking another sip of his whiskey despite the fact that he was already swaying in his seat. “Some friend you are, Hanscom.”

Ben laughed, signalling for a  refill from the bartender.  “Did he ever tell you about the time he broke his collar bone? Bastard was lucky he didn’t die. Richie Tozier and Bill Denbrough were a force of idiocy to be reckoned with back in high school, couldn’t stop them from doing stupid shit. Didn’t help when Bev and Stan were always- _hiccup-_ encouraging them.”

Bill hummed to himself. “Richie Tozier was the biggest dumbass I’ve ever met. Now he has two kids. Fucking wild how shit changes.”

Ben blinked and crinkled up his nose. His brain tried for a moment to process the information Bill had just dumped on him before deciding that he was just a little too drunk to do that, and it pushing it from his mind. “Stanley Uris was the king of truth or dare.” Ben rambled on after giving up on Richie and his apparent children. “He managed to never do or say anything embarrassing, but always got the best stories.”

“Sent my ass to the emergency room more than once,” Bill nodded along. “Think the bastard targeted me.”

“Course he did,” Ben snickered. “We all did. You’re very easy to take advantage of. You only had to look a drink to get tipsy, Denbrough.”

“That’s not true!” Bill exclaimed, swaying and nearly falling from his seat. Audra raised her brow at Ben, who grinned cheekily at her.

“Anyway, his collar bone…” Ben said, mind unhazing enough to remember what had started his conversation. Being drunk at 4:30 in the afternoon was something Ben Hanscom hadn’t experienced since his college days, but with Big Bill Denbrough by his side, he couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about it. “Stan dares Bill to jump off Richie Tozier’s roof into their back yard pool right… and the Toziers have this three story house, it’s really… and Billy here, is a dumbass. So off he goes, fucking misses the pool and cracks himself right against the cement around it.”

Audra pressed a hand over her mouth, eyes going wide.

“It’s fucking mayhem.” Ben cackles. “How Bill didn’t die on impact, I don’t think we’ll ever know. Some sort of higher being was looking out for him but his collar bone.. God it was gross. Eddie Kaspbrak was crying, Richie just like… screaming absolutely nonsense. Bill’s drunk ass is laughing, and I think Stan… I don’t know I think Stan went home the second Bill hit the ground-“

“I still say it’s because he didn’t want to be found at the scene of his crime,” Bill said, eyes closed and swaying in his seat.

“Yeah,” Ben nodded seriously. “But yeah- then Richie just… he fucking just… punches Bill’s collar bone into his chest. Just closes his damn fist and goes for it. BANG. Then Bill’s screaming, the neighbours are definitely going to call the police. It’s basically, stay there with Bill and get caught under aged drinking… or make a fucking run for it.”

“SO OF COURSE THESE BASTARDS!” Bill shouted suddenly, eyes wide with memory. “They just take the fuck off. Even Tozier! At his own fucking house! Mike Hanlon and little Elii Tozier were the only people worth a damn that day.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Mike and Elii were only people sober. It’s not that deep.”

Bill scowled but a small smirk was still tugging at his lips. “I could’ve died.

Ben shrugged and knocked back his entire glass of high end whiskey in one go. “Yeah. But ya didn’t. Would’ve been Stanley’s fault anyway.”

A dark look came over Bill’s drunk face. “Wasn’t everything?”

Ben put his empty glass down and turned to look at Bill with a serious, sober face that didn’t match the amount of alcohol he’d drank at all. “No.” He said firmly. “In the years I knew Stanley Uris, he only ever did one thing seriously wrong- and we all just decided you know, fuck that guy. That guy’s a piece of shit. But it was, you know, it was one bad thing. One bad thing in seven years. You knew him longer. The only person who gets to hold it against him is Richie. The rest of y’all need to get the fuck over it.”

Bill blinked, frowned, opened his mouth, then frowned again. Then broke down into giggles. “You said _y’all.”_

Ben rolled his eyes, but found himself laughing, too.

**→  →  →**

Mike picked up the freshly set up home phone in his apartment and stared at the numbers. He started punching in the number he knew wasn’t a Maine area code and tried to ignore the guilt in his stomach. The phone rang once, twice, then just as Mike was thinking of hanging up, the line picked up.

“Hello?” Stanley Uris’ voice carried through the line and Mike felt that old calming sense settle over him.

“Stan? It’s Mike.”  


“Mike? Mike Hanlon?” Stanley sounded understandably confused but Mike was pretty sure he could hear the smile in his voice. “What’s up?”

“I just…” Mike sighed. “I guess I’m starting to question some stuff, and you were always the most reasonable person I ever knew.”

Stan laughed slightly on the other line. “I don’t know if I deserve that title, man.”

Mike was shaking his head. “Nah, yeah, you do. You can’t let one bad call decide your entire worth. Nobody gave Eddie a final call when he keyed Greta Bowie’s new car back in junior year, or Bill when he put that hair killing shit in Richie’s shampoo after he dumped Bev.”

“I don’t know if those are really on the same level as what I did,” Stan said slowly. “But I appreciate the effort, Mike.”

“No, Stan, they were.” Mike said firmly. “They were actions of stupid teenagers, stuff we would never do know because we know better. If it’s the hill Richie wants to die on, then let him. Don’t bury yourself there with him.”

Stan cleared his throat on the line, his voice sounded watery when he responded. “You know, I think you have a talent for saying exactly what people need you to say. Always have.”

“Yeah,” Mike said. “But you have a pretty similar talent. So, please, set my head on straight.”

“Well…” Stanley chuckled. “Don’t know if I can do that miracle, but I can try to help you out of whatever this situation is.”

Mike’s entire brain stalled, drawing a small noise of him. “You… You know, then?”

Stan sighed. “Yeah, I… I guess I always knew? Maybe not even we were kids, but in high school? Yeah. I just never said anything. Figured it was your place to tell us, especially in a town like Derry.”

Mike was nodding even though he knew that Stan couldn’t see him. “Did you do the same with Eddie and Richie?”

A moment of silence then: “What about Eddie and Richie?”

“Uhh…” Mike coughed awkwardly. “Nothing, I- Nothing. I started my job at the museum today and it was pretty shitty. My partner is dick and everybody just thinks its fine. That I’ll either get the hang of it or quit and-“

“They’re right,” Stan interrupted. “You’ll either get the hang of it or quit. So, Mike Hanlon, I guess you gotta chose. Are you going to at least try to stick it out or are you going to go back to Derry with your tail between your legs?”

Mike huffed out a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

“Usually am. But thanks for noticing.”

**→  →  →**

Eddie returned from the grocery store and looked around his silent, and mostly dark house in wonder. “Richie? Bev? Where are you?”

Richie wandered out from the living room, wearing the grey pair of sweatpants that Eddie had a preference of slung low on his hips and nothing else. “Baby,”

Eddie trailed his eyes down Richie’s visible torso. “Hey… uhm,” his throat was suddenly so dry it made it a little hard to talk. “Where is everybody? The girls?”

“Got Bev to take ‘em,” Richie said softly, scratching at the back of his neck and looking slightly nervous. “Because I… I start my overnights next week and you go back to work, and we’ll be opposite schedules and I was hoping to spend some time together before then but if you’re mad that I sent the girls away for the night I can… I can get Bev back here and we never have to- I’m sorry-“

Eddie crossed the room quickly and pressed his and Richie’s lips together. He pulled back and stroked at Richie’s cheeks. “Don’t apologize. I absolutely trust Bev with the girls and you’re right, we need this.”

Richie nodded, their faces so close together that his nose dug into Eddie’s cheek. “Okay, well, then… In that case…” Eddie could feel him grinning. “Why don’t you take me to bed, my love?”


	6. IT's the night shift

_Goooddd evening New York! According to my time, we’re settling into a deep dark night here in our great city of large apples. So, my dear listeners, I know why I’m here, awake, at midnight on a Wednesday? It’s my job to be awake and annoying at midnight- so what’s your excuse?_

Stanley Uris reached out and clicked off his desktop radio. Dead silence in the middle of the night was better than being tormented by Richie Tozier’s voice all night.  Sighing, Stan marvelled once again at how there was no reason for their branch to be open this late at night. In what world would a person be needed financial advice in the dead of the night?

Proving once again that Stanley Uris didn’t seem to know anything, there was a knock at his office door. Startled, Stan looked up at the pretty dark haired girl who seemed as surprised to find herself standing there as Stanley was to see her. “Hi…” she said slowly. “I was told you might be a good person to help me.”

“That might an matter of opinion,” Stan said back with a soft, tired smile. “Most people seem to mis-understand what it is I do.”

“I just wanted to talk to somebody who understands money,” she said lightly. “Because I don’t. At all. I never had to…” The woman came into the room and sat down in the comfy chairs. This office was one of the nicer ones in the branch, Stanley was only allowed to use when he was working the night shift. More often than not, he was stuck in one of the overflow rooms and spent the day playing Solitaire on the computer. Which, yeah, was also what he did when on the night shift but… at least he got to sit in the nice office and do it.

The woman rubbed her hands together awkwardly, giving a forced smile. “But now I… I’m pregnant and I guess I could just go to my dad’s accountant and bankers- they took care of my money my whole life, but…” She pressed her hands over her stomach. “This is the start of my own life, you know? I should do this myself.”

Stan nodded. “There’s nothing wrong with keeping the same accountant and bank as your parents, you should know. You don’t have to do it completely alone, but we can look at some of your options.”

“I just…” the woman shrugged. “My boyfriend… the father… I’m not sure if he’s the smartest. He’s an amazing boyfriend, I love him so much. But I’m sure if I can rely on him, when it comes to money. I have some stuff from my father, inheritance and whatnot. I guess I’m just wondering if it’s a good idea to maybe have my own bank account, and keep it separate from him.”

“It’s always a good idea to have your own account,” Stan said, nodding. “Especially considering you’re not even married. You’re not obligated to share anything with your boyfriend, no matter how pregnant you are. If you’re looking to open up an account, then you’ll need to go into your bank during operating hours. At least to make an appointment, we don’t do that kind of stuff here. We can advise, of course, but I do believe that having your own account is a very good idea if you don’t already.”

The woman nodded. “I’d like to come back and talk to you. You’re pretty much the first person who hasn’t told me to just marry my boyfriend because I’m pregnant.”

Stan smiled blandly at her. “How about this? I’ll take down your name and put you into our system as a taxes client? Then you can come back and request to talk to me whenever you’re struggling with your financial decisions? Can I have your name?”

The woman nodded excitedly. “Yeah, yes! That’s perfect. It’s Audra Philips.”

**→  →  →**

_As night falls over this not-so-great city, you really do have to wonder. What am I doing awake when I could be asleep? I know I am, even for 12 hours an hour, wondering why I’m not just at home, instead of sitting awake in a 4 by 4 booth, more likely than anything talking to myself. Because really- unless something has gone terribly wrong in your life, you’re asleep at quarter to one in the morning._

“Man,” Kay laughed as she walked into the staff room.  Mike Hanlon was seated on the floor, surrounded by half finished plans for the new Ancient Greece exhibit, with Richie’s voice filling his ears. “That guy doesn’t hold back, does he?”

“It’s not exactly in his fashion, no.” Mike chuckled. “Richie has always been that way.”

“Richie? As in, Kaspbrak?” Kay asked, looking at the radio as though it had personally offended her. Mike blinked up at her, mouth opening slightly. “His husband’s a dick. They got a cute kid, though.”

Mike simply blinked at her. There was a lot to unpack there- possibly Kay thinking Eddie was an asshole being the oddest part of what she’d just said- and Mike knew he didn’t have the time or willpower to do it just now. “I… Pearsons told me that I’m not allowed to leave until I figure out the how to run the new Greek exhibit”.

Kay raised her eyebrows. “Spence is letting you take lead on the Greek exhibit? He must really like you.”

“ _Like_ me?” Mike burst out laughing. “I’m half convinced he’s trying to work me to death.”

Kay shook her head, sitting down crossed legged in front of him. “No, Spencer has literally never willing given up the lead on anything ever,” Kay took several of the printed pages and pulled them towards her. “If he gave you _this_ exhibit in particular, he really fucking likes you. Ancient Greece is Spencer Pearsons’ passion.”

Mike groaned. “You’re just making me more nervous that I’m going to fuck this up.” Mike shook his head. “I have a million ideas and each one is probably worse than the others.”

“You have too many ideas,” Kay said with a soft laugh. “Why are you making it so complicated? It’s easy. If you want to impress Spence, make it simple. Give the information, give an easy layout and get rid of the extravagant bullshit. It doesn’t need to be fancy, it needs to be factual.”

Mike huffed out an annoyed breath, and clicked Richie off.

**→  →  →**

_Nearing on 2 am, I’m still here. You’re still here too, if you were ever here at all. I could probably say anything right now, nobody would be any wiser. The earth is flat, all cats are aliens, men in suits make me nervous… whos’ even listening?_

Ben Hanscom chuckled as the radio stopped as he turned off his rental car. He opened the door and walked out, looking at the three story houses at the edge and shaking his head. They all looked the same, of course, as the style grew throughout the world. He tucked his hands into the back pocket of his jeans and walked over to the fenced in area. Beverly Marsh was leaning up against the door, and Ben’s heart raced in his chest in a way it hadn’t since he was a teenager sneaking out.

“Ben Handsome,” Beverly called happily as she moved towards him, becoming more and more visible through the dark air. “And here I thought you’d lost my contact.”

Ben smiled to himself, remembering throwing her email into the trash… and remembering stumbling into his apartment drunk after hanging out with Bill and finding it stuck to the bottom of his shoe when he woke up in the morning. “I was just picking the right time to reach out.”

Beverly hummed. “We always have had the worst timing, haven’t we?”

Ben nodded in her direction and walked into the fancy living area. Beverly was looking at the houses with an air of familiarity that he felt in his bones. “You’ve been here before?”

“Yeah, Tom and I looked into this houses when they started going up,” Beverly said. “But we figured out pretty quickly that there was no way we could afford to live in them.”

“No average person could afford to live in them,” Ben said wisely. “That was the point. I should know- I designed them.”

Beverly slowed to a stop and looked at Ben with wide eyes. “You… I thought you said you were just an intern?”

Ben pursed his lips. “I am. One of my first tasks was to come up with a design for some high end townhouses. Next big meeting, my higher up was displaying my design and taking full credit. Told me to suck it up, and that I’d understand when I got higher up that the idea of the many was the idea of the one. I’m still not sure what that means besides _fuck you.”_

Beverly took to look at the houses. “They… they are beautiful.”

“They’re…” Ben exhaled hard. “Yeah. But all I want to do is burn them down. You know?”

“Destroying things won’t make you feel better,” Beverly said. “Trust me. I destroyed my whole marriage then walked out of it without a word. And I don’t feel even close to _better.”_

Ben scratched at his cheek, annoyed at the hair beginning to grow as it always was between his beard days and post-shaving. “I’m not sure that’s exactly the same thing here, Bev.”

“Sure it is,” Bev said simply, beginning to walk once more. “Discontent with your life is discontent with your life. Whether it’s your job, your relationship, it’s the same. You can’t just push away the thing making you discontent… you’ve got to find something that makes you happy to replace it.”

Ben sighed softly, nodding. “You’re right. I know you are… but I worked so hard to even get the internship I have. If I leave then what do I have to show for my whole life?”

Beverly nodded. “Yeah I get that. After I left Tom I sort of realized that I put everything into the marriage? I let being Tom’s wife be my everything but sometimes you’ve got to start everything. Find a new you.”

“I still want to design buildings,” Ben said, looking back at the fancy houses he didn’t think he’d ever be able to afford. “And even though I think I resent these stupid houses, they still make me proud? Like that’s mine, I created that, no matter who tries to take that away from me. And if I stick out these internship, I’ll move high and I’ll never take credit for something else does. I can make the system better for somebody else.”

“But is it really worth it if you’re miserable the whole time you’re getting there?” Beverly said lightly. “Maybe the reason all your higher ups are such dicks is because they were miserable, too. A brutal cycle.”

“I can break that cycle.” Ben said firmly and Beverly smiled at him sadly.

“If anybody can do that, it’s you Ben Hanscom.” She said softly.

Ben turned to her and brought out maybe the first genuine smile he’d had sober in weeks. “You know I liked you too, right? In high school, and… before that. Pretty much the whole time I lived in Derry.”

“I suspected but I don’t think I ever knew for sure,” Beverly said. “Richie was always saying you did- but I never really listened, you know? Because you were my best friend, so if you liked me then I don’t know what I would’ve done. High school me was an idiot, and if I’d ever done anything about you liking me then… we probably wouldn’t be standing here together now.”

Ben took Beverly’s hand in his and looked deeply at her. “Beverly…”

“I _just_ left my husband,” she said almost brokeningly. “I’m living in Eddie and Richie’s spare bedroom and I don’t even have a job. I’m a mess, you don’t want me like this, Ben.”

“I’ve always wanted you.” Ben said openly. “and I will _always_ want you.”

Beverly cupped the side of his face and brought their lips together.

_Our time is coming to a close as we near 3 am. The sun is preparing to rise, and we’ve yet to set. You know? I think we all need to take a chance to think through our life choses. What has gone so wrong for us that we’re all sitting awake at three in the morning? Where did we go wrong? But if you’re still out there in the world, I have some advice for you: No good decision is ever made after 2am._

Bill Denbrough was debating lighting up his first cigarette in seven years when the man slid into the booth across from him. The man leaned forward and raised his brow at Bill. “I hear you’re looking for work.”

Bill cleared his throat awkwardly and praying he didn’t stutter. “I… I’m a writer, b-b-b-but my girlfriend-“

“She pregnant?” The man chuckled. “You’d be surprised how often that what we hear ‘round here. So, let’s make it pretty clear right now. I don’t care about your pregnant girlfriend, and I don’t care ‘bout why you’re here. I just care that you’re here and what we’re going to do about it.”

Bill nodded quickly.

“So tell me, good pal,” the man smiled, giving him a golden toothed grin. “You wanna pack or deliver?”

_This is Rich Records signing off saying:  Go home. Find somebody you love and be with them. That’s what I’m going to do._


	7. IT's adventures in baby-sitting

“Beverly, please!” Richie dropped to the floor and wrapped his arms around Beverly’s legs. Beverly stumbled and fell to the ground herself. She kicked at Richie, but he had a vice grip around her.

“No!” Beverly cried, still kicking at Richie. “Kids and I do not mix! Especially not _babies!_ You’re insane!”

“BEVERLY!” Richie cried mournfully. “I’m not _asking you_ to take them and move to Hawaii and become their new mother! I’m merely saying that you’re going to be here… the girls are going to be here… maybe you could… be here with the girls while Eddie and I are out on well needed Valentines date. We’ll even make it an afternoon date, you won’t have to do the dinner or bedtime routines!”

Beverly kicked again, nailing Richie between the eyes. He groaned, but still did not let go. “First of all, what makes you so sure that I don’t have any Valentines’ plans? Hmmm?”

Richie sighed. “Then invite Ben over here. I don’t care.”

Beverly spluttered, cheeks going red.  “I… I’m not… Ben.. Who said anything about Ben!?! That’s just… crazy.”

Richie raised one brow, the look of disbelief a little undercut by how his head was resting on her shin. “Beverly, my darling, do you take me for an idiot?”

Beverly yanked on her leg. “YES! Let go of me!”

“Bevvvvv….” Richie whined. “Eddie and I have barely seen each other in _weeks._ We both have today off, and we didn’t even book it off! It just happened! It’s a sign from the universe! We’re meant to go on a date!”

“What the hell did you do last year?” Beverly finally got her leg free, and rolling free and jumping to her feet. She stared down at Richie with her hands on her hips.

“We only had one kid,” Richie pointed out with a pout. “It’s much easier to find somebody willing to watch one child, rather than two and one being less than a year old. Bev, please.”

Beverly squeezed her eyes shut. “Fine. But if you come home and things are a disaster, then you have nobody to blame but yourself!”

Richie let out an over excited shout, jumping to his feet and launching himself at her. They both collapsed back down onto the floor.

**→  →  →**

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” Mike said frantically into his phone. The sound of the barking in the background made his heart clench and he bit down on his bottom lip to keep the tears from filling his eyes. “My boss is coming. Well, I don’t know if he’s my boss exactly but he-“

“It’s alright,” Alexander said on the other end of the line, sighing. “I get it. Call me later when you’re not too busy.”

“Yeah,” Mike cleared his throat. “I love y-“ The line went dead. He inhaled deeply, determined to keep himself together as Pearsons came into the room. He raised his brow at Mike.

“You still here?” Pearsons asked. “Most people who aren’t giving tours today took the day off, you know? Spending it with their sweethearts.”

Mike forced a smile, trying to ignore the bitter tone in Pearsons’ voice and the bitter feeling in his own chest. “I had a tour this morning. It was my first solo one, and I guess I’m just… decompressing.” That… and the idea of sitting at home alone on Valentines hurt, and if Mike convinced himself that he was working then it wasn’t as bad.

Then Spencer Pearsons did the last thing Mike would have ever expected him to do. He smiled. He also moved closer and sat down at the other side on the table. “You just moved to New York, yeah? I imagine it’s hard, this being your first real holiday away from home.”

“Valentines day isn’t a real holiday,” Mike said. “It’s made up by capitalist to make money.”

Pearsons chuckled under his breath. “Alright, well, I’m not going to be going home any time soon, either. And I ordered in some food if you’re hungry.”

Mike blinked at him.

**→  →  →**

“Patty…” Stan said as he entered his apartment, staring down at his feet. “What is this…” The small grey tabby meowed up at him, and Stan took a quick step backwards. Patty came rushing into the front foyer, sliding in her striped socks and nearly collided face first with the kitchen island.

Stan made a half aborted noise of concern, moving towards her, but quickly backing back up when he remembered the cat in front of him.

“That’s Periwinkle!” Patty said, dropping down onto her knees and crawling towards the cat. The small cat gave a even louder meow at the sight of Patty, and patted over to her. Stan let out a soft sigh once the cat was away. “I was at the humane society today-“

“Why?” Stan asked, crinkling his nose. “Do you just go there for fun?”

Patty looked up at him with wide, owlish eyes. “Yes.”

Stan pursed his lips and nodded. “Alright. Proceed.”

“Anyway,” Patty scooped up the cat and cuddled it up towards her chest. “And the person working was saying that Periwinkle was nearing her last days, and if she didn’t get adopted soon, then they were going to have to euthanize her.”

Stan frowned, looking at the tiny ball of fur in his loves’ arms. There certainly didn’t seem to be a single thing wrong with the thing.

“She and her siblings were all found in a box outside the building,” Patty continued on, scratching the cat behind the ears. “All the others go adopted, but not Periwinkle because she was so shy. But I don’t think she’s that shy? You know, she went straight to the door when she heard you coming in. I know you don’t _really like_ cats, but I couldn’t just let them put her down! She’s just a baby.”

Stan sighed, crouching down slowly, and leaning in towards the little cat. “I don’t not like cats… they just scare me a little bit.”

His aunt Sylvia had a cat when he was a child. A big, mean one. Stan always came home from her house covered in scratches, and he’d only ever wanted to play with the stupid thing. He’d been turned off from the animal ever since… but this one didn’t seem very vicious. She fit almost perfectly in Patty’s hands, and was purring nicely as she was pet. Stan narrowed his eyes at it.

“You’ve just never been around a cat that was shown enough to love to show love back,” Patty said fondly, shifting so she could hand the animal over. Stan’s eyes widened and he started to shake his head. “No, come on, Stan. Love her.”

Stan took the kitten into his arms, and held it to his chest. He smiled softly as it began to purr.

**→  →  →**

Beverly dropped herself onto the couch, knowing she needed to waste the seventeen layers of dirt off of her, but she honestly just did not have the energy to. “I don’t know how Eddie and Richie do it. I only had them for a few hours and I’m honestly ready to nap for three years.”

Ben laughed, watching lil Frankie toddled back into her bedroom with the baby’s diaper bag and an arm-full of toys. “They’re adorable, though, aren’t they?” He said a little wistfully. Growing up, Ben had always imagined himself with a  big family and a loving marriage by this point in adulthood. He remembered being twelve years old and heartbroken when a certain Beverly Marsh had said she never wanted kids. “To think Eddie and Richie have their shit together better than any of the rest of us.”

Beverly laughed. “I’m sure it’s mostly to do with Eddie. Bet he whipped Richie’s ass right into shape.”

Ben clucked his tongue. “I don’t know, Beverly. I don’t think we ever really have Richie enough credit. Isn’t that why you two broke up in the first place?”

Beverly exhaled hard, and the heavy silence settled over them. It was one of uncertainty, and Beverly could feel it. Of all the things that weren’t being acknowledged between them just now- the kiss, the fact that they were now officially hovering somewhere between just friends and being together. The fact that neither of them wanted to bring it up, to make anything more or less than it already was.

Clearing his throat, Ben stood and moved towards the stroller that Beverly had left in the front entrance. He knelt down in front of it, and felt his blood run cold. “Bev… where’s the baby?”

**→  →  →**

Richie slid his hand across the café table and tangled his fingers with Eddie’s. “This is where you proposed to me, you know?”

Eddie raised his eyebrow, a little bit of whipped cream on his nose from sipping his hot chocolate. “Yes, Richard. I do know that. I was, in fact, there.”

Richie beamed and squeezed Eddie’s hand. Eddie had chosen this café to propose, because it had been the first place they’d ever gone on a date in New York City. During Eddie’s days in college, they had come here once a week without fail. They had come in often enough that the people who worked there had known them by name and order. The faces around here had changed greatly over the years, but they still made the meanest hot chocolate in the city, as far as Eddie was concerned.

“How did you get Bev to agree to watch the girls?” Eddie asked, blushing as Richie wiped the cream off his nose.

“I tackled her into the carpet,” Richie said with a smirk. “She was reminded of how persuasive I am. I also told her that she could have her date at our place.”

“Date?” Eddie asked, raising his eyebrows. “I didn’t know she’s seeing anybody.”

Richie rolled his eyes, stuffing half his muffin into his mouth in one go. “She’s acting like she isn’t,” he said through his full mouth. Eddie didn’t even crinkle his nose in disgust anymore, long past caring about that kind of thing when it came to his husband. “But she and Benny boy are definitely an item.”

“Wait, Ben Hanscom?” Eddie squawked, shaking his head as Richie nodded. “That’s not going to end well.”

Now Richie was the one frowning, eyes turning sad. “What do you mean? Are you actually going to pretend you haven’t been rooting for Benverly since high school.?”

“I just mean…” Eddie sighed. “Ben has been hung up on Beverly since we were like… thirteen. And Beverly is the middle of a divorce, _if_ that. More like the start of a divorce, since she just ran away from her marriage and haven’t talked to her husband in weeks. This could get really messy, really fast.”

“Why don’t you believe in love, Eds?” Richie sighed dramatically, pressing the back of the hand that wasn’t tangled up with Eddie’s against his forehead.

Eddie gave him half a smile and squeezed Richie’s hand. “You think with the life I’ve got that I don’t believe in love?” Eddie asked, matching Richie’s dramatic tone and beaming when his husband blushed. “But I am also a realist, baby. I hate the idea of this turning out badly. Imagine if… _you’d_ been crushing on me since high school, and I only dated you as rebound for my divorce.”

Richie sighed and rubbed his thumb against the back of Eddie’s hand. “That would be fucking suck balls… but I also don’t think we’re allowed to pass judgement on our friends relationships. Since, you know, we’ve had the loves of our lives locked down since we were fifteen.”

Eddie grinned. “Really? I think that is the perfect reason to be able to pass judgement. They’re lucky to have such experts at their disposal.”

**→  →  →**

Mike Hanlon had never been a big beer drinker, not even back in high school when there was a keg at every part, but his politeness was in his blood stream and he couldn’t bring himself to say no when Pearsons offered him one.

“So, Hanlon,” Pearsons said, carrying the piece of pizza up towards his mouth. “Which is it… did somebody blow you off or are you just painfully single this Valentines day?”

Mike nearly choked on the pizza. “I… What?”

Pearsons held one hand up defensively. “I’m just saying, I’ve never heard somebody refer to Valentines as a Capitalist holiday unless they’re struggling romantically.”

“I’m in a perfectly happy relationship,” Mike said slowly, taking a drink and finding that maybe beer wasn’t so bad if you drank enough of it.

“But…” Pearsons said slowly, raising the pizza and looking at Mike over it.

“But..” Mike sighed. “He’s in Maine. And the long distance is a little bit harder than I’d originally thought it would be.”

Pearsons hummed, nodding at him. He took another beer from the mini fridge beside his desk and slid it across the table to Mike. “That’s shit luck, mate. The things they tell you about long distance aren’t just myths, you know? Everybody always feel like they’re strong enough to do it… most aren’t.”

Mike squared his shoulders. “It’s not forever,” he said. “He’s going to come live with me, once we find a place big enough for our dog.”

Pearsons gave him a disbelieving look. “A place big enough for a dog? In New York City? On a interns salary?”

Mike let out another self-pitying sigh, and Pearsons pushed the beer closer towards him.

**→  →  →**

Beverly tossed the door open, sighing in relief as Stan and Patty enter the house. She frowned at the baby carrier strapped to Stan’s chest, frowning hard when she noticed the small cat inside of it. “Uh…”

“If anything happens to Perwinkle,” Stan said, staring her dead in the eye without a hint of a smile. “I will kill everybody in this house and then myself.”

Patty slid her hand into Stan’s, beaming, and leaned her head against his shoulder. Beverly opened her mouth to reply but was quickly cut off by Ben calling from the kitchen. “You better mean everybody in this house under the age of five! Because I’m sure Eddie and Richie could get over coming home to all of us dead, but I think you killing their children would be a _bit_ upsetting.”

Stan nodded, and Patty walked into the house. “That’s why we’re here. What did you do with the baby, _exactly?”_

“I still can’t believe any of this, and if Ben wasn’t sure, I’d still be pretty convinced that this was very intense prank.”

“You think I’d lie about loosing an infant?” Beverly asked, offended as Stan just raises his eyebrows at her. Beverly made an offended noise. “Look. We don’t want to call the police, because you know… then Eddie and Richie would know.”

“Beverly.” Stan said patiently. “I think they’re going to notice having one less child when they get home.”

“I was planning on finding her before that happens!” Beverly shot back, leading him into the living room.  She gestured towards the stroller. “I _swear_ that I never even took Marty out of this thing while were out! She was in there when we left the park but we got back here and she was just… gone.”

Patty crossed her arms and turned towards Ben. “The baby just vanished into thin air, is that what you’re saying?”

Ben pinched the brim of his nose. “I don’t know what happened, okay? She was there one second, gone the next. I-“

The adults all froze at the sound of the bedroom door down the hall clicking open, and a small pair of feet padding down the hallways. A small girl peaked her head out, hair a mess of braids.

“Damn,” Stan said slowly with a whistle. “They really do have kids. What the fu-“

“Language!” Patty hissed towards him.

Stan just laughed- maybe a little wetly- as he moved towards Frankie. “This is Richie Tozier’s daughter. I promise that she’s heard worse.” He crouched down in front of her. “Hey, sweetie. What’s your name?”

“What’s _your_ name?” Frankie shot back at him, frowning. “This my house. You’re the stranger.”

Stan let out a small laugh despite himself. “My name is Stanley.”

Frankie’s eyes went wide. “Your name is Stanley?” She asked softly. “My daddy has pit-ures of you in his room. You had longer hairs, though.” Stan widened his eyes back at the girl but before he could ask any other questions, her eyes dropped to the carrier on his chest. “Is that a kitty? Can I hold him? Please? Papa says if I say please, big people are more a-likely to do what I say.”

Stan chuckled, spoken like a true child of Eddie Kaspbrak. He put his hand down on the small cat and smiled at Frankie. “We’re looking for your sister right now, sweetie. Maybe after we find her?”

Frankie quickly looked down at the ground, her cheeks growing red. Stan frowned.

“Do you know where she is? Can you tell me?”

Frankie looked up at Stan through her lashes, cheeks still mad. “I don’t wanna get in trouble.”

“You’re not going to be in trouble,” Stan assured her. “Okay? We’re all worried, we’ll just be happy to get her back.”

“Promise, promise?” Frankie challenged and Stan’s heart clenched. There was so much _Richie_ in this little girl, it made his head spin.

“Promise, Promise.” Stan said solemnly. Frankie told hold of Stan’s hand and tugged him down the hall. She opened the door to her purple bedroom and there Marty was. Fast asleep on some roll-out childrens couch, surrounded by possibly hundreds of stuffed animals.

“I just a-wanted to play with her!” Frankie quickly began to explain, sounding tearful. “My daddys never let me play all by myself! They always ‘ave tuh watch us, cuz Marty is little but I can take cara her! Bev and Benny weren’t payin’ attention and Marty _hates_ stayin’ in the stroller! She was sad! So, I took her and out I took care of her! Look!”

Frankie let go Stan’s hand and rushed towards the sleeping baby. She knelt down and rubbed the baby’s head with a surprising amount of care. “She’s okay. She’s happy.”

“Yeah, kiddo.” Stan said with a smile. “She’s just great.”

**→  →  →**

Mike and Pearsons were laying underneath the dinosaur bones, and he was pretty sure that they were _not_ supposed to be down here but he couldn’t really be bothered to care.

“It fucking sucks, you know,” Mike said, anger finally sinking into his voice. “It’s like… he’s trying to make it seem like he’s being supportive, you know, but he still… he’s not. I have to figure everything out, while he lives in the fancy ass farmhouse and works at his job and plays with our dog and nothing else has changed, you know? For him… He just misses me, whatever, but he didn’t have to pick up and start a whole new life. I just wish he’d cut me some slack.”

Pearsons didn’t say anything but he was giving Mike a small, encouraging smile.

“It’s like… sometimes…” Mike exhaled hard. “Sometimes I feel like he’d rather me be in Derry, a place I’ve always hated, with him than out here doing what I love. He’s just… waiting for me to come back. I don’t think he thinks this is real. Permanent. He’s waiting for me to come back.”

Pearsons reached out and patted Mike on the shoulder. It was only then that he realized he hadn’t called Alexander back.


	8. IT's a life changing moment

Kay McCall leaned over the edge of the car, Eddie Kaspbrak pulling himself half out from underneath it and raising his brow at her. “What are you doing here? Thought you had some big fancy museum job. Here to answer the phone for fun?”

Kay gave an eye roll, leaning on the car with her elbows placed upon it and hand in her chin.  “Hey, you’re the one who fired me when I got the museum job. I would’ve gladly  kept answering the phones on my days off.”

Eddie pulled himself out from underneath the car completely, and pushes his to his feet. “You can understand why I’d need a little bit more than somebody who can answers phones on their days off.”

Kay smirked at him. “Yeah, because you’re so busy down here.”

Eddie clenched his jaw and resisted tossing the greasy cloth at his former friend and employee. Instead, he rolled his eyes once again and then glared pointedly at her. “What brings you to this neck of the woods, McCall?”

“Would you believe that I was bored and in the neighbour?” Kay asked lightly, and Eddie made sure not to waver his unimpressed expression for even a moment. Kay sighed. “Alright, fine. I actually came down here to thank you, and I need you not to make a big deal about it.”

Eddie raised his brow and had barely began to smirk when Kay was already holding a finger out to stop him in his tracks. “No! Okay, I just wanted to thank you for firing me. At the time, I was so angry. And I’ve definitely held onto that anger until really recently. But I’ve sort of come to the conclusion myself that you letting me go forced me to really start my life. Loosing my job here was the my life changing moment, so thank you for being such a dick back then.”

Eddie shook his head and let out a disbelieving noise. “You’re welcome for firing you, I guess, but I think that’s a load of shit, Kay. There’s no such thing as a life changing moment, your life changes because you work for it and only when you work for it.”

Eddie turned to walk away then as Kay made an equally annoyed noise behind him. “You’re telling me you can’t think of a single moment in your whole life that you could trace everything back to? There’s no big moment, that changed the course of your life _at all?”_

Eddie couldn’t help but hesitate there, images of on moonlight on the lake and Richie’s wet hair sticking to his forehead. Richie counting down from ten… and shook his head. “Everything I have in my life I earned and worked for. Just like you, just like everyone.”

Eddie didn’t really hear what response Kay gave him- if she gave him any at all- because his footing slipped in a pile of oil that had gathered on the ground behind him, and Eddie’s head smacked rather roughly against the cement garage floor.

**→  →  →**

Eddie opened his eyes slowly, groaning at the pounding in the back of his head. He rolled slightly and nearly fell out of his bed. Gasping, Eddie grasped at the edges of the much smaller than he remembered mattress and finally opened his eyes wide. He was suddenly surrounded by pale blue walls that made his stomach churn almost painfully. The cramping sort of reminding him of the time in college when Richie had brought home burritos from a less than trustworthy place down the street from their studio apartment, and they’d both been sick for days. Not liking that much at all, Eddie forces himself to his feet and sways slightly when he gets a rushing of blood to his head.

He nearly falls again- _again? Had he fallen before? He couldn’t remember-_ when the all too familiar screaming that Eddie hadn’t heard in years came carrying up the stairs towards him. “EDDIE BEAR! ARE YOU UP?”

“Yes, Ma!” Eddie called back on the a reflex that made his skin crawl. For a moment, Eddie Kaspbrak was sure- so sure- that he was having some sort of nightmare, Eddie moved towards the mirror in his old childhood bedroom. It wasn’t covered in photographs of himself and his friends, which meant it was at least before junior year, but what Eddie saw in the mirror shocked him to his core.

The scar above his eye from when Richie had convinced a nineteen year old Eddie to get down the stairs in their apartment building on a mattress and resulted in Eddie getting six stitches in his forehead, and their landlord nearly evicting them for being hooligans. The way his nose was now slightly crooked from getting broken with a baseball while playing for the team in college. Shaking from head to toe, Eddie looked down at his trembling hands and saw the paler skin on his ring finger.

Okay, he wasn’t dreaming back up being in high school in his mother’s house but what the hell else could this possibly be? Eddie hadn’t been in contact with his mother for nearly seven years, since he’d gotten married and she’d spent the entire weekend trying to ruin everything for them. Two years back, he’d gotten a phone call from the hospital in Portland, telling him that his mother had suffered a serious stroke, and Eddie had told them to “do whatever they needed to do” and hung up. He didn’t even know if Sonia Kaspbrak was alive. He supposed that they would’ve called him if she’d died, but in truth, he wasn’t bothered either way. Alive or dead, it didn’t matter to Eddie as his mother had been dead to him ever since the day he married Richie Tozier and began his true family.

Heart racing, Eddie grabbed the back pack he’d used in high school- seeming a little bit more warned down than he remembered it being but he couldn’t be too bothered to care about that right now- and started cramming as many clothes as he could into it. All his clothes seemed to look exactly the same, he realized as he opened up his drawers. Fifty button up shirts in different shades of light blue, white and light grey and about a hundred pairs of khaki pants- only one or two pairs of jeans. Eddie crinkled his nose in disgust at the apparent boring person he was in this… reality or whatever it was.

Going down the stairs like four at time, Eddie rushed into the living room. Sonia was sitting in her large armchair in front of the TV, same as she did his whole life and same as she likely did while dying, and she did not look good. Her skin seemed to sag so much on her body that it seemed at risk of melting right off, and her was as white as winter snow. The sunken fashion of her face and dullness of her eyes, Eddie would have guessed that she was already dead if it wasn’t for the steady rise and fall of her chest. Eddie pursed his lips together to hold back his nausea at the sight of her. His ‘mother’ looked him up at down, and Eddie was a little surprised that she could even see him. “You can’t go to work looking like that,” Sonia said to him, sounding bitterly disappointed in him. That was a tone of voice that Eddie was beyond used to with her. “You know that you have to look presentable at the Pharmacy, Eddie Bear. Mr Keene was very nice to hire you right out of high school like he did. Show the man some respect, Edward.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. Working at the pharmacy, with the man who had held cover up his mother’s manipulation of him. Sounds just about fucking right. Eddie had to admit that he didn’t look like somebody about to go to work, in his oversized T-shirt and sweat pants that it seemed was deemed appropriate for sleep wear, and his hair a mess on his head. Eddie wasn’t going to work, so he supposed that was okay.

“I’m not going to work,” Eddie said sharply, trying in the Eddie that hung up the phone on that doctor two years ago, rather than what his soul was screaming at him to do. He was going to tell Sonia the truth, because he’d promised himself almost a decade before that he would never hide his true self from his mother again. “I have to go see Richie.”

Sonia’s face contorted up in confusion. “Richie? Went and Maggie’s boy? I’m quite sure that only the way you’ll be getting to see him, is watching those trashy movies he does on the Netflix. I won’t let you go all the way out to LA, Eddie Bear, and I’m quite sure he doesn’t remember you.” Eddie’s head spun, and a good part of him wanted to run to the closest available computer or television and search Richie up on Netflix to see just what kind of _trashy movies_ his mother was talking about, but Sonia was still going on about Richie. “I hadn’t seen that boy since your high school years, and good riddance. He was never a good person to be hanging around, and he’s just proved that as an adult. Those movies? That slutty wife of his? You’re better off without that hooligan, Eddie Bear, he was never good enough to be your friend.”

_He was never just my friend,_ Eddie thought with a painful lurch of his heart as tears threatened to cloud up his eyes. Richie was famous, Richie was _married._ Married to somebody that wasn’t him. His chest felt tight, like his breathing was going to cut off any second, as his brain betrayed him with the horrific thoughts that maybe this wasn’t a dream. Maybe his life with Richie, their home and their daughters, had been the real dream all along. He thought of the delicate little braids that Richie would put in Frankie’s hair or how they’d taken down the mobile above Marty’s crib because it scared her, or how Frankie would run through the apartment on her little baby legs trying to keep with Richie’s ridiculously long ones everywhere he went. It couldn’t have all been dream, no dream was so detailed, so real, so… flawed yet perfect. _This_ was the dream, the terrible, terrible dream. There was no other option, because if this was real life than Eddie didn’t know what he would do.

Hiking the backpack higher on his shoulder, Eddie squared his jaw and forced his tears away from his eyes. “I’m going to see Richie, you can’t stop me. I’m an adult.” And _oh,_ it was so similar to the speech he’d given at the end of high school, finally putting his foot down and telling Sonia once and for all that he was going to New York. That he and Richie were going to New York, and that she couldn’t stop him. His heart ached a little bit as he glanced around the childhood home that hadn’t changed since he’d given that speech. Shaking slightly, Eddie began to turn away- not feeling as though he could handle being in his house for another second.

“Edward Franklin Kaspbrak! You get back here!” Sonia called after him. “You can’t leave me! I need you! What if you get sick, Edddieeeee`”

But Eddie just kept going, the version of himself that he’d grown to love knew how to turn his back on Sonia Kaspbrak and he was doing that now. The words she throws at him can’t get to him anymore, because he learned long ago that they were all lies. Every single one were lies, and at one point he hadn’t been able to handle how long he’d believed them. Richie had helped him to get past that, to get to the point of truly being okay with everything he’d suffered through. He needed to get to Richie.

**→  →  →**

It was only once he’d gotten to L.A that Eddie thought this might have been an entirely huge mistake. All he knew was that Richie lived somewhere in Los Angeles, that he was an extremely successful actor and that he was married. The internet didn’t exactly list his address, and as somebody who loved Richie as much as he did- Eddie was glad for that, even if it was ridiculously inconvenient for himself in this moment.

Standing in the middle of an busy L.A street, Eddie was still bundled in sweats and a T-shirt, only his backpack on his shoulders and feeling ridiculously groggy and jet lagged. His head hurt. There was a hand coming down on his shoulder and Eddie let out a loud scream, nearly toppling into the street as he spun around to see who was about to murder or rob him in the middle of the sidewalk.

Bill Denbrough looked five years older than he did in Eddie’s current ( _real,_ he told himself. _They were real_.) memories. His hair was flat and honestly a little greasy and he was supporting large, thick rimmed glasses that would have put childhood Richie Tozier to shame. His face was a little shrunken, making him look closer to forty than twenty-six. His eyes blew wide open at Eddie’s apparent panic, the only thing making him resemble somebody young. “Eddie!” He gasped, hand quickly dropping away from Eddie’s shoulder to press against his own chest. “Sorry, man. Didn’t mean to frighten you, I just was surprised to see you! Been a long time, man.”

_How long a time?_ Eddie wanted to ask the question, but it soured in his throat and wouldn’t come out. Sonia had implied that she hadn’t seen Richie since they were in high school- going as far as to say that Richie wouldn’t remember him. But Bill had known him from _behind,_ in the middle of the crowded street… Surely Richie would know him. Heart hammering, Eddie just nodded and forced out a “yeah.”

Bill frowned and looked Eddie up and down, looking at his messy appearance and what he didn’t doubt was pain written across his face. “Are you okay, man? You look a mess. I live around here, we can head back to mine. Audra and the kids won’t mind, I’m sure. They’ve heard tons about you-“

_Kids? As in, multiple of?_ Eddie swallowed roughly, taking a change to look at more than just Bill’s tired face. He was dressed in a fitted grey suit, something that the Bill Eddie knew that still wore baseball caps and jeans at twenty-six, would never do. He was supporting a wedding ring, slightly dinged to promote that it was old. Worn out. Bill Denbrough looked like his father.

Eddie shook his head, not wanting to see Bill’s picked white fence life that he’d vowed he’d never have. It would probably make him throw up, or pass out, or both. “I just need a coffee.”

Bill’s worn face seemed to light up, and for a moment he looked like the youthful man that Eddie remembered. “Well, you’re in luck, Kaspbrak! There’s a great coffee shop not far from here, I go there nearly everyday. Follow me, amigo.”

Eddie didn’t have much choice but to follow Bill down the street, holding onto the edge of jacket in fear of loosing him just as he did as child. He was more than thankful that Bill seemed keen on talking, because Eddie wasn’t sure he was going to be able to make words come out if he tried his hardest. His heart raced with every word that Bill told him through the walk.

“Richie’s doing pretty good, you know? I think you’d be proud of him. He was always smart, you know, but he was just miserable in college so he dropped out. Went on all these auditions, his parents were so skeptical about it. But he did it!” Bill had a little glint in his eyes, something that was mostly pride but might have been a little bit of envy, too. “Don’t see him much, but I was at his wedding a couple months back. It was about time they tied the knot, too, you know? Bev and Richie had been together our whole lives, pretty much, I’m not sure what they waited so long for.”

Eddie was pretty sure he let out an actual dry heaving noise when Bill revealed that- after everything Eddie had grown to know about the love of hi life- Richie had married Beverly Marsh. The insecurity he’d had when he and Richie had first gotten together, the fear that Richie would realize he was wrong, that he _did_ love Beverly and wanted to be with her, bubbled back up to the surface but he forced it down. None of this was real, and even in a fake world, Richie and Beverly had put off getting married for nearly a decade.

Bill was looking at Eddie sadly when Eddie brought himself back down to reality.  “Rich said he invited you,” Bill said slowly. “But you didn’t RVSP. Think it tore him up a little bit, even though he wouldn’t say it. Bev kind of pointed out that you guys had drifted apart way back in high school, but Richie had so sure that you were going to show up.”

Okay, yep. Eddie was _definitely_ going to throw up now.

“It wasn’t like it was some big Losers reunion,” Bill continued on, not noticing how Eddie had gone pale and swayed slightly as he walked. “Mike hadn’t been able to make it, and Bev and Rich hadn’t been able to even get a hold of Ben, and even if… Nothing has been the same since Stan, you know…”

For a moment, Eddie _didn’t_ know. He really didn’t- until he did. Until he remembered a certain event that had taken place in their senior year, an event that was only stopped from being complete irreversibly tragic because Richie had gone over to the Uris’ house after his and Eddie’s first fight in their relationship. Eddie had almost thrown up so many times in the last five minutes, he wasn’t sure how he’d managed to hold onto his pride.

“When you started drifting away after your mother didn’t let you go to my lake house that summer, things are started drifting apart. But there hadn’t been any going back after Stan.” Bill sighed sadly, glancing up at the sky as though it held all the answers to life. “I miss it sometimes. Don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Eddie choked out, tears thick in his eyes as frantically rubbed at his face to calm down. _This isn’t real,_ Eddie told himself angrily. _Richie and Bev aren’t married, Stan isn’t dead… This is all bullshit._ “I uh, I’m here to see Richie. Do you know… could you help me find him?”

Bill raised his brow at Richie. “A little late for a wedding gift, aren’t you?” Eddie gave Bill an unimpressed look as they entered the coffee shop he’d aforementioned. Eddie’s hand was still tight on the bottom of Bill’s suit jacket, but Bill didn’t seem to mind. “Okay, okay. Yeah I know where Bev and Rich live. They’ve got some serious security, but I can get you in. As long as you promise me something.”

“What?” Eddie asked carefully, looking seriously at his childhood best friend while they stood in the long line.

Bill was looking back at him just as a seriously. “You have to promise me that you aren’t going to do anything to hurt him. It’s been almost fifteen years, Eddie. You broke the olive branch, so if he doesn’t want to see you then you need to accept that.”

Eddie hadn’t envisioned a situation where Richie _didn’t_ want to see him. He’d just assumed that Richie’s soul would scream out for Eddie as soon as was anywhere near him and that would be it. The whole universe would shift back into reality, and Eddie would blink and he’d have his life back. If Richie didn’t want to see him, Eddie wasn’t sure how he’d be able to keep living this fucked up broken life.

Before Eddie could give it anymore thought, they had reached the front of the line and he balked at the sight of their barista. Even if his cheeks were sunken into the cheekbones, and his arms were almost disgustingly buff underneath his uniform- it was Ben Hanscom. Eddie would know those brown eyes anywhere, even with the amount of sorrow that they now held. Or the panic that settled over them the second he met Eddie’s gaze.

But Bill just butted on, ordering their drinks as though seeing through the man. Ben jumped back into action, handing them their drinks quickly and then Bill and Eddie were leaving without a single word to their friend. Eddie felt more shaken by this interaction than anything he’d found out thus far. He turned to Bill, looking at him pleadingly. “Bill. That was Ben Hanscom.”

Bill looked over at him, startled and then laughed. “What? Eddie, come on. I got into the shop every damn day, Beverly pretty much lives there on her days off. I _think_ we would’ve noticed if the guy making our coffee was Ben from high school.”

Eddie pursed his lips and shook his head slightly, but figured that he had bigger fish to fry right now than his friends utter obliviousness to the world around them. Once he got back to Richie, everything would go right and Ben wouldn’t be the mysterious guy who makes the coffee.

Bill and Eddie hop into a cab, and Bill gives the address. It’s a _huge_ house, much bigger than two people would ever need, bigger than Richie or Eddie would need now with their children. The millionaire version of the Toziers house back in Derry, where everybody lived so far apart that they never needed to see each other. It made Eddie’s heart hurt a little bit.

“Bev’s car isn’t here,” Bill said, after buzzing them in and an unfamiliar voice buzzed them in. Bill pushed the gate open and they walked through the long drive up towards the wildly extravagant house. Eddie’s palms were sweaty as Bill opened the unlocked door and let them into the house. The front foyer was bigger than the living room of Eddie and Richie’s whole living room back in their lives.

Richie padded into the foyer and he looked _so much like Richie_ that Eddie’s breath caught in his throat. His heart began to race at an almost inhuman pace as he took in Richie’s white T-shirt and paint splattered jeans, his black curls done up messily on top of his head in a bun. He was wearing his glasses and Eddie wanted to run forward and kiss him all over his face. But he couldn’t, and that made every part of Eddie ache. There was no little toddler with braids running into the room behind Richie, and that was a type of hurt that Eddie had truly never felt before.

He forced back tears for what must have been the millionth time in twenty four hours and found Richie staring at him with disbelief written all over his face. “Eds…” He said it so slowly, and the nickname dug deeply at Eddie’s soul. He couldn’t hold back the sob that was wrenched from him, and he clasped his hand over his mouth a little too late to muffle it. Richie’s shocked face seemed to soften with concern, and Eddie could feel the way Bill was staring at him but he didn’t have any eyes free just now.

“We can talk in my office,” Richie said, his voice was rough like he’d been smoking for forty years and stiff like he was creating a business transaction with a stranger. Eddie’s heart had clenched so many times lately he wasn’t sure how it was even still beating, but he followed Richie without any hesitation. Richie closed the office door behind them, and sat on top of his desk. He looked at Eddie’s awkward figure for a long time, before sighing. “It’s good to see you, Eds. Been too long.”

And then Eddie was finally crying. Every tear that he’d been fighting off since waiting up in Derry yesterday exploded out of him all at once. Pressing both hands on his mouth, Eddie bent slightly at the middle and let out sobs that were long out of his control. Chest heaving, he forced himself to meet Richie’s troubled gaze.

“This is the worst fucking thing that I’ve ever happened to me,” Eddie heaved out through shaking breaths. “Worse than my dad dying, worse than anything my mom ever put me through. I fucking hate this _so much.”_

Richie visibly swallowed, tugging on his earlobe. “Eddie, can you please tell what’s happening, right now? I want to help, but I can’t if you don’t tell me what’s the matter. Do you need money?”

Eddie exhaled hard and closed his eyes. “I don’t need money, I need my life. My family. My husband, my girls… I need you, Rich, and I need you to remember. I need you to remember our lives together- our _real_ lives, Richie. Our life. Together. Me and you. Our house, our kids… Everything that was _ours.”_

“I….” Richie was looking at Eddie like he was crazy, and God… Eddie would do anything for Richie not to look at him like that ever again. “Eddie, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Can you please speak sense to me, _please?”_

 

 

“You don’t believe me.” Eddie said, breaking slightly before sucking his bottom lip into his mouth to keep any sense of composure he could possibly have in this moment.

Richie let out a long sigh, and looked at Eddie sadly. “Do I believe what? That you and I are secretly married with kids, and I’ve somehow forgotten it all? No, yeah, I find that a little hard to believe.”

Eddie sniffled and rubbed angrily at his eyes. “This is all fucked up. This isn’t how things are supposed to be! It’s supposed to be me and you! Richie…”

Richie pushed up to said and looked at Eddie so fiercely that for a second Eddie thought that Richie was going to kick him out. But Richie deflated as quickly as he puffed up. “You’re right, I thought that, too. Right up until there wasn’t a cute ass Kaspbrak bursting into the church at my wedding, interrupting at the perfect time just the movies. I realized then that this had never been right, and that I needed to let go of this bullshit crush on a dude I haven’t spoken to in ten years.”

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut. “Why did you marry Bev if you don’t love her?”

“Awe, heck, Eds, I do love her.” Richie said with a chuckle. “It’s Bev, how could you not? She’s stood by me even through the last five years after I stopped having sex with her, and we both pretend I don’t know that she’s sleeping with one of those dudes who make coffee at her favourite shop. It works, I guess.”

“It could be better,” Eddie said fiercely, entire body suddenly shaking with adrenaline, stepping forward and taking Richie’s hands in his own. Sparks shot through Eddie’s entire body, and he knew Richie felt it too with how his eyes blew open wide. “You and me, a townhouse in New York, two kids. Little girls, beautiful, healthy… everything we could want. Our _life,_ maybe it’s not perfect, but it’s better than this and I wouldn’t want anything else.”

Richie’s eyes had tears in them now, too, and he’s squeezing Eddie’s hands back. “Eddie, that sounds amazing, but you have to know it’s crazy, right? What do you think- one morning you woke up and suddenly we’ve lived completely different lives? Doesn’t that sound crazy?”

“Stop telling me what you think,” Eddie pleaded. “Tell me what you feel.”

Richie’s mouth opened and closed a few times, and then he let out a watery laugh. “I feel like… when you just dropped me as a friend after you didn’t go to Bill’s lake house was one of the worst things I’d ever been through. I was so confused, Eds, because I liked you so much. But I was with Bev, and I’d been with her forever, you know? I loved her, even if I was confused. She was one of the most important people in my life, and you weren’t taking to me anymore. I sort of assume that you’d figured out that I was crushing on you, and that was your way of telling me it was never going to happen.” Eddie started shaking his head, open his mouth to speak but Richie rushed right over him. “Then Stan died and you still wouldn’t talk to me, so I tried to tell myself that you were just a dick. It didn’t work great, but it worked enough. I threw myself into my relationship with Beverly, and even though something was always holding me back I could tell myself that it wasn’t you.”

“But it was me.” Eddie said, and it had meant to be a question but it didn’t come out that way. Because Eddie knew it was him, because Eddie knew that he and Richie were meant to be together in any universe.

“Yeah, Eds. It was you. It was always you.” Richie stepped closer, noses touching. “Also, I’m going to kiss you now.”

Eddie gasped, and his mouth moved faster than his thoughts. As soon as he spoke, he knew exactly where the words were coming from. “You can’t.”

Richie raised his eyebrows. “You can’t just say this kind of stuff to me and expect me not to kiss you. I’m going to count to ten, and then I’m going to kiss you. If you don’t want to do that, then I guess you’re just going to have to stop me.”

Richie only counted to three before Eddie was catching his lips in a harsh kiss.

**→  →  →**

“Come on, Eds baby. Let me see those eyes.”

Eddie groaned, eyes fluttering open. The lights in the garage made his head hurt twice as bad but he quickly forgot the pain when he realized Richie was kneeling above him, looking concerned. Eddie quickly caught sight of Kay kneeling by Richie’s side, and realized that he was, in fact, laying on the ground in his automotive garage.

Gasping out a overjoyed “RICHIE!”, Eddie lunged forward, throwing his arms around Richie’s shoulders and pressing frantic kisses over his husbands face.

“Eds, baby…” Richie laughed, managing to sound both relieved and mildly concerned at the same time. “We should maybe take to see a doctor, Kay says you hit your head pretty bad. You were out a few minutes before I got here…”

A few minutes? Was that all it took to change a person’s outlook on life? Eddie laughed out loud, cupping Richie’s cheeks in his hands and squishing them together. He leaned up and kissed Richie’s nose. “No hospital, Rich. Just take me home. I need to see my babies.”


	9. IT's [redacted]

“Look who’s cute!” Richie called happily, coming into the dark light cafe with little Frankie perched on his shoulders. He had promised Beverly that he would come see her at work on her first day, before he dropped Frankie off at home and went in for his own shift. After Beverly had seen her outfit, she’d wished that Richie would’ve forgotten all about that promise. He was here, though, with a toddler on his shoulders and a shit eating grin on his face. 

Beverly flushed. Her black shirt buttoned all the way up to her mid-neck, and her pants were yanked up nearly to her breasts. With a belt. It sort of hurt to breathe. She wanted nothing more than to take it all off and walk away, but she knew that she couldn’t afford to do that. Without Tom in her life, Beverly had spent the last month milling around in Eddie and Richie’s apartment, jobless and mooching off of their kindness. It wasn’t a life that she could live forever- nor one she wanted to- but it certainly didn’t seem to help anything with Eddie’s sudden awkwardness around her. After a few days, Beverly had managed to pluck up the courage to ask about it and Richie had dismissed her. Claimed that Eddie had had some sort of weird experience at work, and that it wasn’t anything she had done. Beverly wasn’t entirely sure she believed that, but she was willing to give Richie the benefit of believing him. No doubt he knew what was going on in Eddie’s mind space better than she did. 

“The only cute person is here is that little princess on your shoulders,” Beverly said happily. In the month since she’d moved in with Eddie and Richie, she’d really grown to adore their little daughters. She thought they were possibly the best child to ever grace the present of this planet- and made her reconsider her lifelong declaration to never have children. Then she remembered that time that Frankie had taken her baby sister right out of the stroller without her noticing, and resolved to sit with simply baby sitting Richie’s little girls with Ben.

And Ben… things between them were great. She knew the rest of her friends were skeptic about their current relationship- Mike had made it obvious with his expressions, and Eddie had straight out told her as much, but she felt that things were going amazingly. She knew, of course, that she ever wanted to make things any more serious that she needed to get into contact with Tom, at least serve him up with divorce papers, but she couldn’t be bothered to think about that just now. Things were going smoothly in her life right now, outside of the tension between herself and Eddie, and Beverly didn’t think now would be a good time to do any boat rocking. 

“Hey!” Richie snapped his fingers under Beverly’s nose and waggled his eyebrows at her. “Stop thinking about Ben when a handsome man is already here visiting you.” Richie shot her that toothy grin that instantly brought her back to looking at braces and beyond freckled cheeks, and her stomach leapt the way it always had.

She shook her head and looked away. “You’re alright. Shouldn’t you be getting that little girl home for bed now?”

Richie made a mocking offended noise. “You invite us down here to see you and you’re immediately rushing us out the door. Here I thought you loved us.”

“Well, I love Frankie.” Beverly said with a smirk. “You still fall under the ex boyfriend category, you’re on probation for love.”

Richie gasped, pressing a hand that wasn’t necessary to hold Frankie up to his chest. “How long until I can be accepted back to love status?”

Beverly hummed, trying not to break into a smile. “How long ago did Bill and I break up? Sixteen years ago? Seventeen? I’m starting to considering letting him back into love status.”

Richie made a wounded noise and shook his head dramatically. “I let you into my home, let you eat my food, and this is how you repay me? I’m hurt, Beverly. I will just take my daughter and my company elsewhe-” The ringing in Richie’s pocket yanked them both away from the conversation. Richie rolled his eyes. He was one of very few people Beverly knew that actually had a cell phone- claiming that he needed it for work related situations- and he seemed to despise the thing. “Hello?” He answered, then quickly frowned. “Billy, what…  _ What?  _ Yeah, I do but I have to work- okay, okay, okay. I have Frankie with me so we can… Oh?” Richie’s face crumbled up and he gave Beverly an odd expression. “Then you need to give me a chance to drop her off a home. Then I’ll come get you, don’t go anywhere.”

Richie snapped the phone shut and tucked into his pocket, giving Beverly a long look before sighing. “I’ve got to go. I need to get Franks home, and cover my shift apparently.”

“That was Bill?” Beverly asked, rubbing at her bare arm a little awkward. She didn’t like the troubled look in Richie’s eyes. He could barely look at her, a sign she remembered well from the youth. It meant that Richie’s thoughts were moving faster than his brain could keep up with it, and it always spelled disaster. It meant Richie punching Patrick Hockstetter in the face for homophobic comments or pulling the fire alarm to keep Henry Bowers at bay during an in-school attack. Bad outcomes from good intentions. “Is he out drunk and needs a ride?”

“No.” Richie replied with a small shake of the head that might have been an unconscious twitch. “He’s… I don’t know. I need to go get him, or… whatever. I have to go…”

Beverly nodded firmly. “Yeah, yeah. Go!”

Richie seemed to bounce in place for a moment, before turning and moving quickly through the empty diner. The bell dinged as he left and Beverly exhaled hard, a sense of doom settling in her stomach. She wasn’t sure what the night held, but she knew that it was only quarter to eleven and it was just starting.

**→  → →**

Mike tapped his hands against the steering wheel of his rental car as he pulled past the Derry town sign. It had been an incredibly long week, and even though Pearsons had started to pull up on his treatment. Kay had been a godsend but after just the general roughness of his first exhibit, all Mike wanted was the comfort of his boyfriend. It was been a slightly spur of the moment plan, encouraged mostly by Kay after seeing how drained Mike had been all week, and they’d come up with the idea to simply surprise Alexander with his presence than go through the whole process of trying to turn into a plan. 

Mike turned down the radio as he started down the back road that lead him to his childhood home. He felt a little bit of sadness in his gut at the FOR SALE sign he knew he was going to see as pulled up in front of it. By the time he’d left for New York it hadn’t gone up yet, and he’d yet to see it. His father wasn’t going to be there, they’d been filtered out the animals for the last few weeks and he knew most of the things he’d always known about Derry would be gone. As soon as Mike could figure out a solution to his spacious problems, Alexander would be packing up and coming to New York and this old place would just be a part of Mike’s past.

It wasn't, however, the sight of the FOR SALE sign that sent Mike’s heart lurching up into his throat as he pulled up towards his driveway. It was the unfamiliar car that was parked beside Alexander’s outside their house. HIS house. Mike placed the car into park and took a second to steady his breathing.

**→  → →**

Stan pulled his sweater tighter around himself as he made his way through the dark streets. The nights were getting progressively warmer as summer came in, but he found that he might have wanted to wear his windbreaker this night. The weather outside hadn’t exactly been the first thing on his mind as he left his apartment at nearly eleven, barely stopping to give an explanation to Patty as he rushed out into the night. 

He hadn’t personally heard from Bill Denbrough in almost eleven years. They’d been friendly enough at the reunion, classic adult behaviour he supposed, but Bill had made it pretty clear to everybody whose side he was on once everything went down between Stan and Richie. Stan supposed that everybody had leaned more towards Richie’s side of things, but Bill and Eddie had been the two who openly expressed it the most. Everybody else had the slight decency to pretend not to pick a side- and it was easy enough with them all leaving Derry- but Stan and Bill’s friendship had never bounced back. So, yes, Bill Denbrough calling him in the dead of night for help was out of character and worrisome. 

He sped up his steps once he saw Bill standing at the end of the street, pacing in front of the street sign. Stan walked quickly up to him, placing a hand on Bill’s elbow. Bill let out a loud shout, and quickly yanked himself away. He stumbled and Stan had to move quickly to grab hold of his arms and steady his old friend on his feet. “Are you okay?” Stan asked, taking in Bill’s disheveled appearance and wide eyes.

“I…” Bill cleared his throat and looked around, nose twitching. Even in the darkness of the night, Stan recognized that look as Bill getting caught on a word. It was strange, when they’d all met up in Derry Bill had barely stuttered at all. Whatever this was must have been really getting to him. Stan rubbed gently at Bill’s shaking arms and watch as the other boy worked through his own tongue. “I-I’m in t-t-tr-trouble, Stan.” 

Stan was seconds away from some sort comment that would be the equivalent of  _ duh,  _ when a car came roaring up to the curb. Richie Tozier leaned towards the passenger seat window, scowling slightly at the sight of Stan standing there as well. He shook his head, closed his eyes and jerked his hand towards the back seat. Bill jumped to action, quickly launching himself into the backseat. Stan let out a half-aborted protest before getting into the passenger seat beside Richie. 

Richie gave him an awkward closed-mouthed smile that Stan nervously returned before spinning around in the backseat to glare at Bill. “Care to fucking tell me what was so important that I had to call into work to come get your ass at the side of the road? And why bird boy is here with you?”

Stan wanted to be offended, but he supposed of all the things Richie could’ve called him, that was pretty tame. Bill seemed to be openly trembling in the back seat, eyes jerking around nervously. Stan sighed “He called me at home, said he was in trouble-”

“Didn’t fucking ask you.” Richie snapped, not even bothered to look at him. Richie drummed his fingers against the steering wheel while maintaining direct eye contact with Bill. Stan watched how Bill squirmed under Richie’s gaze, and couldn’t help but think that Richie had never looked more like a father than he did in that moment.  Stan had to bit his lip to keep from trying to give Richie a satisfying answer to his well asked question. 

“I…” Bill flushed deeply, Stan could see that even in the dark car. Maybe part of Stanley Uris had never forgotten about to read his old friends. Bill scratched at the back of his neck, clearing trying to avoid meeting Richie’s gaze. “I’ve g-g-gotten involved with some guh-guh-guys…”

Stan felt his heart plummet into the pit of his stomach. He felt that maybe some part of him had been afraid of that this whole time. He hadn’t been able to deny the nerves he’d been feeling. He looked away from Bill and towards Richie. Richie was practically burning holes into Bill’s head, silently urging him to continue.

Bill cleared his throat once again, one of his oldest tricks to helping with his stutter that he’d always found didn’t really help at all but he’d always resort to when nothing else was working either. “I-I-I-I k-k-knew it was a b-b-b-bad i-idea but I-I-I nuh-n-needed money. For the b-b-b-b-b-b-baby.” Bill was staring stubbornly at his hands now. Richie was shaking his head slowly, eyes closed and Stan. Well. Stanley felt like he was moments away from opening this car door and throwing up into the street.

“I-I-I-I didn’t fuh-fuh-feel right about i-i-i-it!” Bill declared. “I-I-I was truh-try-trying to get o-o-o-out! They d-d-d-didn’t luh-luh-like that.”

“No, I imagine they fucking didn’t!” Richie let out a frustrated grunt, and smacked his hand a little bit harder against the steering wheel. “God  _ damnit  _ Denbrough. When did you get so stupid?”

“We always did stupid shit!” Bill argued, suddenly stutter-free. Suddenly sounding angry. “The three of us! Getting into trouble, barely getting away with it. Come on, you can’t deny it was always epic.”

Richie and Stan both shot Bill looks of contempt so eerily similar that Bill sunk back in his seat. Stan was truly considering breaking his silence that came from fear of Richie’s anger and giving Bill a piece of his mind when the night was suddenly cut through with the ringing sound of gunshots. Stan let out a startled gasp and Richie’s eyes blew wide behind the lenses of his glasses. 

“Is that for  _ you,  _ Denbrough?” Richie screamed as another shot went off.

“RICHIE! FUCKING DRIVE!” 

**→  → →**

Beverly wiped down the counter for what was easily the tenth time that night. It wasn’t dirty, she hadn’t served a customer beside the man she was pretty sure was homeless drinking a cup of iced water in the last two hours. The last people Beverly had interacted with had beyond single word sentences had been Richie and Frankie, and she was trying to push off the lingering feeling of anxiety Richie’s phone call had left her with. 

“Hey, sorry, I know it’s late but I-” A terrifying familiar voice called, following in the singing of the bell above the door. Beverly turned slowly, the dread settling in her gut. Tom Rogan the same as he always did, he might have even been wearing the same shirt he’d had on when she’d left him for her Derry reunion. 

He looked as self shocked to see her as she was him. “Beverly, you’re… back in New York.”

She cursed herself for never considering that she’d run into her husband in New York. She’d chalked up to it being a large city, and if she stayed away from the places she knew that he frequented, then it wouldn’t happen. Part of her had known that she’d see Tom again one day, but she chosen to believe that it would be more on her own terms. Not nearly this unexpected.

“Uh, yes.” Beverly replied awkwardly, wiping her hands on the blue cloth. She placed it back into the sanitation bucket and took a step around the counter to her husband. There was no avoiding the situation, so she might as well face it head on. “I got back about a month ago. I’ve been staying with some friends. They’ve got cute kids.” 

Tom gave her a confused look. “Bev, you hate kids.”

“I don’t  _ hate  _ kids.” Beverly argued immediately, thinking about Frankie’s cute little pigtails and Marty’s tiny little hands. Tom gave her a disapproving look, and she had to admit that she’d turned Tom down on kids many times during their marriage. “Well. I don’t hate  _ their  _ kids.”

“And you’re working here?” Tom looked around the diner with a slight turn up of his lips. It was fair, she knew. This wasn’t any high end type of diner, hence the only late night customers she’s getting being people she believed to simply have no where else to go. But maybe Beverly was one of those people who didn’t have anywhere else to go.

“Well, I couldn’t just keep crashing at my friends house without giving any sort of help.” Beverly said with a shrug. She almost wished a customer would come into the store now, ask for something complicated that she probably didn’t even know how to make and Tom wouldn’t have a chance to keep talking to her.

“You never had to stay with your friends,” Tom said, sadly and quietly. He looked down at his feet and Beverly felt a quick pang of sadness for him. Maybe she’d been feeling unhappy in their marriage, but it wasn’t as though she’d ever told him that. She’d simply sat on her feelings, ones that she’d barely even known that she felt, and then she’d taken off at the first chance and never looked back. Never tried to talk to him, didn’t tell him where she was going, what she was planning. “You could have come home.”

Beverly bristled. Home. Was the fancy apartment in the West Side that belonged to her and Tom in their marriage home? No. It didn’t feel like home, had stopped feeling like home long before she’d left. Was home Eddie and Richie’s townhouse? No. Maybe at first she had hoped it do be, but she knew that that was a family of four, she was just living there. She didn’t have a true home living with Eddie and Richie. 

Beverly sighed and shook her head. “I haven’t found my home yet,” she told her husband honestly. “I’m still working on that.”

Tom walked up to stand beside Beverly by the counter, resting his elbows onto it. He sighed. “Beverly, I don’t understand what happened. One second you seemed perfectly happy, then next you walking out on me. On us. On everything.”

Beverly tried to give him a sympathetic smile. “I wasn’t happy, Tom. It took me a long time to realize it but I couldn’t… I couldn’t help it after that. I had to get away.”

“Why couldn’t you have talked to me, Bev?” Tom asked quietly. He was fidgeting with the tips of his fingers the same way he had before he’d proposed. “We could have talked about it, I could have tried to be better.”

“It’s not like that,” Beverly said slowly. “I had to question myself and my wants, what I needed. I had to go to my reunion, and I wasn’t ready to talk to you about any of my thoughts yet, I’m still not really ready to. While I’ve been staying with Richie-”

“Wait, Richie?” Tom’s voice cut through her, sounding more angry than sad now. “As in your high school boyfriend that you lost your virginity to?  _ That’s  _ who you’re staying with?”

“Yes.” Beverly said with a frustrated sigh. “Did you miss the part where I said I was also staying with his spouse and kids? It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“Oh.” Tom laughed humorlessly. “I’m just supposed to believe that you took off from our marriage, moved in with your ex boyfriend and you haven’t done anything with them?”

“I haven’t done anything with Richie since junior year!” Beverly said sharply. “I’m not going to stand here and argue with you about this bullshit.”

“So you’re telling me that in the two months since we’ve been separated you haven’t hooked up with anybody?” Tom asked her dryly. 

Beverly bit her lip, thoughts of Ben’s cramped apartment and his cool sheets against her back burning in her mind. She could practically smell his skin where she’d pressed her face into his neck. Tom was raising his eyebrow at her challenging and she knew that now was that this was the make or break moment of her relationship.

“I haven’t done anything with anyone since we’ve been separated.”

**→  → →**

Mike walked calmly into his kitchen and poured a glass of cold water from the tap. Alexander came in behind him, wrapped up in the house coat that Mike had given him for his birthday last year. The man who had been in their bed was also by his side, still shirtless and covered in marks. Mike’s stomach was churning but he forced himself to look at Alexander.

“Okay,” Alexander cleared his throat awkwardly, looking around their once shared kitchen. “I know this looks really bad, Mike. I do. And it is, but it’s been hard for me. You left, and I had to stay behind for god knows how long! I could have handled this better, I know-”

“I’ll say.” Mike responded, not sharply, not angrily. His voice was calm and cut off. He was already shutting it out. Disconnecting himself from it completely. He pressed his knuckles into the counter behind him and leaned against it. “I’m not sure you could have handled it worse, frankly.”

“Everything was so up in the air!” Alexander cried, tears settling in his eyes. Mike had to fight not to roll his own, feeling it was nothing more than act now. Alexander didn’t feel bad, he didn’t regret anything. Mike could see it all over the place, and looking back at the way his boyfriend had been acting the last few weeks he couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it coming. “Mike, I didn’t know what was going to happen for us-”

“You think I did?” Mike snapped before pinching at the brim of his nose. “But at least I tried! I was looking for a better place for us, I wanted to make it work! I was  _ trying,  _ I wasn’t sleeping with somebody else and pretending that would help! In what world does being afraid of what’s going to happen in our relationship mean that you should  _ cheat  _ on me?”

“Mike, I’m so  _ sorry.”  _ Alexander said, wiping at his running nose. Tears were falling down on his cheeks and Mike simply couldn’t bring it in himself to care about the obvious distress Alexander was feeling in that moment. If he let that guard down, let Alexander’s feelings means something, that Mike would break. 

“I’m going back to New York.” Mike said, placing the now empty cup back on the counter. “But you need to be out of this house by morning.”

“What?” Alexander gasped. “Mike! Where am I supposed to live?”

“I was  _ trying  _ to find a place for us both to live,” Mike snapped a little spitefully, but still right. Knowing he was right, because Alexander swallowed loudly and looked away from him. “That’s not my problem anymore, but you’re not staying in my family’s house. I’ll be calling the realtor tomorrow to make sure the house is emptied.”

Alexander was still making half-aborted arguments and pleas while Mike turned and left his home in Derry forever.

**→  → →**

 

Richie turned his car angrily into a back alley and parked. He and Stan both slammed back into their seats, breathing heavily. Stan began rubbing his hands over his face as Richie yanked the car door open and rushed out of it. Stan and Bill looked at each other quickly before both fumbling out after him. 

“Richie…” Stanley asked softly as Richie whipped around, glaring at them both.

“Bill, what the fuck are you going to do?” Richie cried, running his hands through his hair. He started shaking his head and he gaped at his friends. “Somebody just fucking shot at my car! You could have gotten us killed!” 

Bill let out an obviously nervous laugh, starting to ring his hands. “Dude, come on. We u-u-u-used to do st-st-stupid shit all the t-t-t-time.”

Richie walked forward quickly and shoved Bill up against the brick wall behind them. “We’re not fucking teenagers anymore! We’re not just throwing our own lives away!” Richie backed away from Bill, hands shaking. “What?  _ What?  _ You’re just going to go to my house and look my toddler in the eyes and tell  _ her  _ that her dad isn’t going to be coming again? Or would you leave that for Eddie? After you explain to  _ him  _ that he’s now raising two kids on his own because  _ you  _ got yourself in over your head with some  _ fucking druglords?”  _

Stan wrapped an arm around his stomach and pressed his hand over his mouth. He’d never heard Richie angry like this. Not even after everything that happened between himself and Richie all those years ago, had Richie yelled at him like that. 

Richie’s eyes caught Stan’s and he almost gave out a growl. “And what about Stan, William? You just going to go up to Patty and let her know that instead of planning a wedding, she’ll be planning a funeral?”

Stan had to fight back a dry heave as he turned back to Bill. Bill was pressed up against the brick wall just as had been when Richie slammed him up, even though Richie’s hands were no longer holding him there. Richie shook his head. “Grow the fuck up, Bill, and get your fucking shit together.” 

Richie turned and started walking back to his car. He stopped with his hand resting on the drivers seat door and looked up. “Uris! Are you coming?”

Stan looked back at Bill one last time before climbing into the car after Richie.

**→  → →**

Beverly walked slowly to Richie’s car when he finally showed up to picked her up. He was silent and sullen when she opened the passenger seat and sat down. He didn’t start the car, didn’t look at her. “Richie?” She said tentatively. 

Richie hummed.

“Tom showed up at my work tonight,” She said quietly. 

Richie jerked to look at her, eyes wild. She noticed then that his hands were shaking. “How did he know worked there? Is bastard stalking you? Beverly, I swear to God-”

“No, no,” Beverly started quickly shaking her head. “He seemed just as surprised to see me as I was him but we talked. He thought you and I were hooking up.” Richie let out a startled laugh and Beverly smiled. “I told him I hadn’t been with anybody since I left him but I…”

“Lied?” Richie suggested, raising his brow. There was still something off about him, something that was leaving Beverly confused and on-edge. She wanted to reach out, maybe take hold of him. Make him feel better about whatever was wrong.

“Yeah…” Beverly sighed out. “I lied. I don’t even know why I did, I don’t want to go back to him, I like being with Ben… I’m just so confused, Richie! I don’t know what’s the best thing to do.”

Richie gave her a half smile. “The best thing you could do is be with whoever makes you happy, Bev.”

And Beverly had no idea what took over her in that moment. Her stomach clenched up and she stared at Richie for a moment. She felt as though every possible human emotion that was able to felt was deep in her gut and she didn’t even notice she was moving forward until she was kissing him. 

**→  → →**

Eddie rolled over as the bedroom door shut. It was quiet, but Eddie never failed to wake up when Richie came home. He’d tried to stay up for Richie tonight, knowing that he was going to help Bill rather than work, but he’d fallen asleep. His husband was quiet as he came in, not looking towards the bed, and his heart rushed a little bit.

“Baby?” Eddie called towards him, putting his hand up towards his mouth and nibbling at his cucital. “Are you okay?”

Richie turned to him and Eddie could see that Richie was pale even in their unlight bedroom. Eddie scrolled closer to the edge of the bed and held his arms out. “ _ Baby,  _ what happened?”

Richie let out a shaky breath and Eddie knew he was about to start cry. Richie dropped down onto the mattress beside him, and Eddie wrapped Richie up in his arms. “Eds… fuck.  _ Fuck.  _ So much shit happened tonight, fuck.” Richie mumbled into Eddie’s collarbone. “I know we don’t keep secrets, I know. I promise I will tell you fucking everything in the morning. But there was a point tonight when I thought…  _ fuck…  _ I thought I wouldn’t be making home at all. So, can we just… cuddle? Sleep? Please?”

Eddie’s heart got shut in his throat and he imagined for a short moment walking up and Richie having not come home. Not getting to see Richie again, and he knew nothing could be worse than that.

“Yeah, Rich. We’ll go to sleep.”

Richie hummed as Eddie laid them down, feeling how Richie was trembling. “I love you, Eddie.”

“I love you, too. No matter what.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY I PROMISE IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS PLEASE DONT HATE ME


	10. IT's a road to recovery

Stan scooped up Periwinkle as he passed by the small cat. He cuddled her up to his chest as he dropped onto the arm seat in his living room. Patty was sitting and making small talk with Audra, pouring them both cups of wine. Audra gave Stan a nervous smile.

“Thank you for meeting with me,” Audra said, rubbing gently across her belly. She hadn’t started showing too much yet, but if Stan looked hard enough he could tell the girl was with child. His stomach churned a little bit at the thought of what was happening with Bill right now, and how Audra and their child deserved better. Try as Bill might, Stan knew that Richie was right. All Bill was doing was throwing his life away and putting other people at risk. Which was all the more reason for Stan to have this meeting with Audra today.

“Well, this isn’t officially what I do,” Stan said with a smile. Periwinkle mewed happily while Stan scratched behind his ears. “But you seem nice and I want to help you.”

Audra’s eyes fell down to Periwinkle in Stan’s arms and sighed sadly. “I think my boyfriend and I should have started with a pet before jumping right to a baby.”

Audra still hadn’t explicitly told Stan that the father of her child was Bill Denbrough, and he wasn’t sure if he knew who he was. Or if maybe, she just didn’t know that  _ he  _ knew who she was. It didn’t matter too much, really. Stanley wasn’t helping Audra as his old friend’s girlfriend, or anything to do with Bill. He was helping her because he knew that she needed it.

“Are you planning on leaving your boyfriend?” Stan asked her, pulling out manila envelopes from under the coffee table. Patty was a little awkward with the situation, despite only meeting Bill the one time. The love of Stan’s life had never been particularly good at lies or deception. It was something he admired about her, the way she’d stumble over her words and get quiet in any less-than-honest situation, but it was keeping her and Audra at a distance.

“I don’t know,” Audra said slowly, rubbing her hands together slightly. “I love him. And he was a great boyfriend, we always had so much fun together. We had plans to start a family and do this adult stuff some day, but I just don’t think he’s ready for it yet. But I…” Audra wrapped her arms around her stomach and smiled down at herself. “I couldn’t imagine not having this baby now. I want to do this with him, there’s nothing I’d want more but if he’s not ready for this then I’m not going to let him drag this to shit. My baby is going to come first. End of story.”

She seemed so strong and genuine, it made Stan’s heart hurt to know what Bill was trying to do. Maybe Bill had good intentions, yeah, but he was putting everybody into harm's way. Richie was right, a sentence that had rarely applied to the Richie he’d known but Stan was starting to learn that he’d missed almost all of Richie’s growing up. 

“You don’t have to do anything.” Stan said seriously. “I’ve mentioned that before, I think, when we first met. All these funds are your own, you have no legal obligation to share them with your partner. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be safe.”  _ Especially since Bill seems to be one bad run away getting tossed in jail or killed,  _ Stan thought a little sadly to himself but couldn’t mention. With Audra giving no indication to knowing that Stan knew Bill or anything along those lines, it wasn’t really Stanley’s place to tell her anything of what was going on. Bill needed to tell her, but Stan highly doubted that he would. If Bill was telling the truth, he was trying to get out but Stan wasn’t going to pretend that the events from the night before hadn’t made him more inclined to meet with Audra. Even going as far as to push up their plans to the next day. 

“You said that your family has their own financial advisors, and I’d recommend that you go talk to them before making your final decisions-” 

**→  → →**

 

Richie rubbed his thumb along the back of Eddie’s hand, wondering if his husband even wanted to hold his hand after everything Richie had just told him. Eddie had been quiet nearly the whole time, staring out around the living room without saying a word or asking any questions. Richie had gone through the story, from Bill’s phone call to Beverly in the car and they were now sitting in silence. The anxiety came to be a little too much for Richie, and he moved to take his hand back, but Eddie clutched at it and dragged it into his lap. 

“Richie…” Eddie exhaled hard, pressing the hand that wasn’t clutching at Richie’s hand against his mouth. “Somebody  _ shot  _ at your car? With an actual gun.” Richie nodded slowly and Eddie let out a soft whimper. He squeezed Richie’s hand with both of his, pushing their hands into couch cushions between Eddie’s legs. “You could have died.” 

Richie nodded again, but shifted to look at Eddie. “I was afraid when I came home last night, and I’m sorry if i’ve gotten you too worry about this. I’m not sure that it was as bad as I’ve made it out to be. And everything with Bev after that-”

Eddie let out a wet laugh. “Oh, Richie, you don’t need to do this.”

“What?” Richie asked, frowning deeply and biting at his bottom lip. 

“This whole Bev kissed you thing.” Eddie waved at Richie’s face as Richie gaped at his husband. “I appreciate it, baby, I do. But I know you’re just trying to make me feel better about Bill putting your life at risk like that. I’m going to kill him, by the way.”

“Eddie, I’m not just…” Richie shook his head, frowning deeply. “You don’t believe me?”

“Bev would never do that to me. To us.” Eddie said with a shake of his head and a small smile. Richie’s heart dropped when he looked at the genuine belief on Eddie’s face. Guilt bubbled up in Richie’s chest when he accepted that he wanted to let Eddie keep thinking he was lying. He could pretend that nothing happened, if it wouldn’t hurt Eddie. He could let Eddie believe that it wasn’t true.

Beverly came into the apartment, carrying Marty in her carrier and a tiny Frankie toddling behind her. She froze when she saw Richie and Eddie holding hands on couch and instantly looked nervous. “Oh my God.” She set Marty in the carrier down on the ground and stepped quickly into the living room. Richie’s heart jumped into his throat. “Eddie, I’m so sorry.” 

Quick confusion came over Eddie’s face, and Richie watched him move through the understanding. Eddie’s jaw clenched, and he took his hand away from Richie’s. He stood slowly and moved over to the seat with the baby within it. Scooping up the carrier, he brought it back into the living room and started pulling the baby free. He pulled Marty up to his chest, and cooed at her.

“Eddie?” Beverly asked slowly, stepping towards him. Eddie held one hand up to her before lowering it to wrap around their baby. Richie remained seated on the couch, glancing around the scene unfolding in front of him. Frankie came padding into the room, eyes wide with the clear tension within the room, and crawled up into Richie’s lap. He wrapped his arms around the girl, and let her cuddle into his chest.

“Eds, do you want me to take the girls out?” Richie asked his husband lightly.

Eddie smiled lovingly at his daughter and shook his head. “No. As long as I’m holding onto her, I can’t hit Beverly.” 

Richie whistled lowly, and tucked Frankie’s head a little more under his chin as an attempt to block out everything around the girl. Part of him felt that he should leave, taking Frankie, but he didn’t really want to. Richie had always had a serious fear of missing out, and this was a situation that Richie was dedicated to seeing through.

“Eddie, I’m  _ so sorry.”  _ Beverly said, keeping her distance from her friends. “I don’t know what came over me. Tom had showed up to the diner last night, and I was so upset. And Richie seemed upset and he just told me to be with whoever made me happy and it just… sort of happened. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody.”

Eddie turned around slowly, his eyes still not leaving Marty’s face. “Your response to Richie telling you to be with whoever makes you happy was to kiss him? Kiss  _ Richie?” _

“My life has been so complicated!” Beverly cried, tears obvious in her eyes and bottom lip trembling. “Things were so simple when Richie and I were together! I  _ miss  _ simple! And you know, if things had been different this could have been my life.”

Richie winced.

Eddie’s eyes flashed. He stepped backwards, not even looking away from Beverly’s face as he handed Marty over to Richie. Frankie kept her head pressed against Richie’s chest, hands immediately going out to let Marty wrap a tiny fist around two of her fingers. 

“Get  _ out  _ of my house.” Eddie said firmly. “You need to figure your shit out, Beverly. I don’t care if you want to be with Ben, or if you go back to your husband or if decide that you’re a strong independent woman who needs no man. But you’re not going to figure that out here, and you’re not going to have these delusions that you could have had a life with  _ my husband.  _ You don’t get to look at my kids and think about how they could have been yours.”

“Eddie, that’s not what I meant-” Beverly start to plead but Eddie shook his head. 

“When Richie told me that you kissed him, I thought he was trying to soften the blow of the rest of his story. Something to distract me. I thought it was a  _ lie.”  _ Eddie hissed, fists clenched at his side. “I told him that you would never have done that to me. And then you come in here, and not only admit that you  _ kissed my husband,  _ but then you try to excuse it by saying that you dated him once when we were fifteen years old so it’s within your right to kiss him. Fuck you, Beverly.”

“That wasn’t what I meant!” Beverly cried. “Eddie, I care so much about you. And Richie and the girls. I would never do anything to hurt you, I swear. I was just confused!”

“Tell me  _ right now,  _ to my face, that you aren’t hung up on my husband.” Eddie said firmly. “Because now I can’t help but wonder if maybe that’s your problem.”

“Eddie, come on.” Beverly sighed sadly, tilting her head back to stare up at the ceiling. “This is ridiculous.” 

“Say it!” Eddie almost shouted, sounding nearly frantic. Frankie let out a small whimper and tucked her head harder against Richie’s chest. Richie stood up, one girl in each arm and started to duck out of the room but Beverly’s response cause him to freeze in the doorway. 

“You stole him from me!” 

“Wow...” Eddie chuckled slowly. His hands had come down to rest on his waist and he was shaking his head. There was a smile on his face, but it didn’t hold humour. Richie was trying to debate if he’d be able to hold both his daughters and his husband in his arms at the same time. “You’ve got some  _ serious  _ issues, Beverly Marsh. Get the fuck out of here.”

Eddie walked past Richie, taking baby Marty without meeting Richie’s gaze and moved back towards the girls bedroom. Frankie dropped onto the ground and Richie gestured for her to follow Eddie. Richie turned to Beverly and shook his head.

Beverly wiped angrily at her tears, and took a shaky breath. “Richie…”

“Don’t.” Richie said sharply. He shook his head again, running his hands through his rough curls. “Just get your stuff and get out.”

“Where am I supposed to go?” Beverly sobbed out, pressing her hands to her face. 

“I don’t know. I can’t care about that right now. It’s not my problem.” Richie said simply, shrugging. He turned away from the sound of Beverly’s muffled crying and walked back to the girls bedroom. Eddie was standing on the other side of the room, putting Marty in the crib. Frankie was playing with her dolls on the floor, but even Richie could see it was half-hearted. 

“Do you want me to leave, too?” Richie asked, leaning against the doorframe. Eddie whipped around, starting at Richie with wide eyes. He seemed to flounder for a moment before frowning sadly. 

“Why would I want that?” Eddie asked quietly, walking quickly past Frankie on the floor. He came up to Richie and joined their hands. “Beverly kissed you. You didn’t kiss her back, you told me right away. You didn’t do anything wrong, baby, okay? I am  _ not  _ mad at you.”

“I love you…” Richie whispered, leaning forward to rest his forehead against Eddie’s. “I’m so sorry this happened.”

Eddie knocked their noses together. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”  Eddie bounced up onto his toes and pressed a kiss to Richie’s lips, squeezing Richie’s hands and pressing their chests together. Just as Richie ran his tongue along the Eddie’s bottom lip, Frankie let out a shriek. 

“EWWWW!!! KISSING IS GROSS!” Frankie shouted, jumping up onto her feet and ran at Richie’s knees. She wrapped herself around him and tucked herself in between her fathers. Richie took a hand free from Eddie’s and dropped down onto Frankie’s head. He ruffled up her hair and made the girl squealed, but cling him all the harder. Eddie dropped his head down and rested it on Richie’s shoulder, taking his own mental pride in knowing that nothing was ever going to take priority over his family. 

The phone ringing broke through the moment. 

**→  → →**

Ben Hanscom tapped his fingers on his desk. It wasn’t so much of a work space as some tiny Ikea desk shoved into the corner of the room, behind a pile of boxes and facing a brick wall that he was expected to call a workspace. He read the email from Beverly again and pinched the brim of his nose. Part of Ben had known what he was getting into, knowing that Beverly’s divorce wasn’t making any progress and that Beverly seemed to be putting it off but he didn't let that bother him. He’d realized so soon after being reunited with Bev that he’d never really let go of her in his heart. The idea that Beverly was interested in him had been enough for him. But looking at the email now, he could tell that something was wrong. It was vague and distant, just giving the barest hint that something had happened with Eddie and Richie and that she needed somewhere to stay. There was nothing incriminating within the message itself, but it left a sick feeling in Ben’s stomach. He couldn’t put a finger on what seemed wrong about it, but he gut was telling him to tread very carefully. 

“Hanscom!” His boss called angrily, stomping past the boxes and glowering at Ben. “Is that a personal email? I thought we were pretty clear about the use of company property for personal use!”

Ben clenched his jaw. As though this bastard didn’t spend five hours a day locked up in his office watching porn on his  _ company computer.  _ Ben knocked his hand against the desk a little heavier and turned around in his chair. Because he had to physically turn around in it, because he was the only person in this office with a chair that didn’t have wheels. “You know what, Kent.” Ben said, forcing a smile onto his face and shook his head. “Why don’t you get the fuck off my back? I do my job, I do well, and you pay me absolutely garbage. If I want to check my fucking email, I’m going to.”

Kent looked taken back, mouth dropping open. “Watch your tone with me, Hanscom. I control your future at this place-”

“What future?” Ben laughed angrily.  “What future is that? The one where I sit here in the back corner, making minimum wage for the rest of my life while you take credit for all my ideas and ring in thousands of dollars for doing nothing at all?”

“Hancom-” Kent hissed, glancing over his shoulder almost nervously. Ben burst out laughing, and pushed himself out of his desk. There was so little room in this area that Ben and his boss were nearly pressed chest to chest. Ben pumped up against him, knocking Kent a little further into the main office. He started picking up his belongings, quickly logging out of the desktop. 

Kent stepped backwards as Ben moved past him, stomping into the office and waved overly dramatically towards all the other bastards sitting in the main office. “It’s really grand, all of you!” Ben shouted, saluting towards the co-workers. He recognized that, yes, he potentially throwing his entire life away but in this moment absolutely no fucks were being given. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,” He called out, pointing at the other office workers as he walked past them. “Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you.”

He stopped at the door of the office, bag thrown over his shoulder, and as he stared he knew that he wasn't going to miss a single thing about this place. “I’m out.” 

**→  → →**

Mike was laying across his floor, staring up at the ceiling, when Eddie let himself in. A small pair of feet padded across the floor, and the tiny body flopped onto his chest. “Uncle Mikey!” Frankie Kaspbrak cried happily, cuddling up to his chest. “My pops said that you were sad.”

“Already feeling better, sweetie.” Mike said, ruffling at Frankie’s messy braids. The little girl made a happy noise, and Mike thought on how he’d spent too much time in the last few months worrying about Alexander. He’d dedicated so much of his time and effort into making finding an apartment, into trying to make things work for somebody who hadn’t been trying for him, that he’d forgotten that he’d already had people who loved him in the city.

“Yeah, little gremlin has that effect on people,” Richie said as he came into the room, Marty’s baby carrier in his hands. Eddie had come in behind him with bags of Chinese take out that he was setting up on the living table. “Franks, why don’t you let your Uncle Mike up, huh? You can cuddle with him on the couch while you guys eat your dinner, okay?”

“Don’t call me Franks!” Frankie cried, crawling off of Mike’s middle and waiting for the man to stand up and make his way back to the couch. “He was a already on the ground when I gots in. I didn’t knock ‘im over this time.” 

“Already on the floor, huh?” Richie raised his brow as Mike got up and let Frankie crawl up into his lap. “How you doing, honey?” 

Mike sighed, and leaned his head against the back of the couch. “I just feel so stupid, you know? I was out here, busting my ass trying to make things work for us, to get us together out here and hoping everything would be great and he was just…” Mike shook his head. “How could a person  _ cheat  _ on somebody else? What has to be wrong with you to get to that point?”

Richie raised his eyebrows, cheeks puffing out with half a  chicken ball. He swallowed roughly, and coughed a little bit. “Seems like it was a rough night for everybody, huh? It was like… fuck those Losers from Maine, and them specifically.” 

Mike laughed, watching as Frankie ripped apart a spring roll. Eddie came in, cooing at little Marty and sat directly on Richie’s lap. He grabbed a fork full of Richie’s chow mein and rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Bill’s gotten himself involved in some drug bullsiht, nearly got Richie and Stan killed in the process, Bev had a run in with her husband and then responded to the stress by kissing mine even though she’s also dating Bev. Fun times all around.”

Mike whistled, accepting the fried rice that Frankie was trying to force into his mouth. “Richie, you hung out with Stan last night?”

“Of all the…” Richie laughed, grinning down as Marty grabbed his finger and put it into her mouth. “I assure you that I was ambushed.”

“You told me you drove him home,” Eddie pitched in, scratching mindlessly at the small curls at the bottom of Richie’s scalp. Mike looked over at the couple, smiling softly as he felt Frankie resting against him. 

“Okay, and what?” Richie shot back, moving to take his hand from Marty’s mouth until the baby made a sad noise and Richie quickly returned it.  “Was I supposed to just leave him in middle of nowhere to possibly die?”

Eddie shrugged one shoulder and shot Mike a playful smirk. Mike smiled back and bounced Frankie slightly on his knee. “I’m glad I found out, you know? I’m glad that I know, and that I’m not stuck being played for a fool anymore. It hurts, of course, I really thought Alexander was the one.”

“You’ll find them, Mike.” Eddie said firmly. “We’re not even thirty yet. Most of the people we know from high school are complete messes. Bill got his girlfriend pregnant and now he’s dealing drugs. You’ve got a dream job and a roof over your head. Everything else will come when it’s time.”

“Yeah!” Frankie cheered happily, patting her hand against Mike’s cheek. “Don’t get married, and come have tea parties with me. Ima better than a smelly boyfriend.”

“There’s nobody better than you, sweetheart.” Mike said happily, rubbing Frankie’s back.

Frankie batted her eyelashes and blushed. Richie’s mouth dropped open and Eddie burst out laughing.

**→  → →**

“Ben…” Beverly leaned against the front door of Ben’s apartment, knocking weakly. “Please open the door. I know you’re in there.”

Ben walked up to the door from the other side, dropping his hand to the door knob. He went to turn it, let Beverly walk in and pretend he hadn’t felt the shift in their dynamic. He turned around, leaning against the door, unknowingly against Beverly’s form.

“I’m sorry…” She said tearfully. “I know I messed up, okay? I don’t need you to tell me that, too. I’ve heard it plenty today.”

Ben clenched his jaw. So something did happen, then. He knew that Eddie and Richie would never kick Beverly out for no reason, and Ben’s gut had been tense all day from the vague email. That momentary feeling of freedom that he’d gotten from walking out of work today had burst into another round of anxiety when Beverly knocked on his door.

“Okay.” Beverly said tearfully. “Okay, Ben. If this is what you want, if you don’t want to open this door, then that’s okay. I’ll just… It doesn’t matter. I’m not making this about me. I’ve fucked this all up, and I’m going to make it better.”

Ben reached for the door knob again, letting his hand hover on it until Beverly’s footsteps started and faded away. He sunk down to the floor, pulling his legs up to his chest and pressed his face into knees. From his apartment, he couldn’t see how Beverly got to the stairway and sat down against the wall with matching tears in her eyes.  

  
  
  



	11. IT's questioning everything

“William! Hurry up!” Audra called from the front door, pulling on her purse. She tapped her foot and a rolled her eyes. “We have to leave now if we’re going to make it the doctors on time. You  _ said  _ you wanted to come this time, have you changed your-”

“No, no,” Bill called, rushing into the living room and struggling to slip into his ratty Converse from college. 

Audra looked him up and down, and rolled her eyes. “I’ll be downstairs in the cab. I’ll try to get them to wait for you, but the cabbie starts the counter we’re leaving and you can walk.” 

Bill watched Audra turn out the door, closing it behind her. Bill sighed, pulling apart the messy lashes that had once been white and were now closer to a sickly grey colour. Just as he moved to leave, he noticed a paper sitting on the top of the stand in the foyer. Bill picked it up, staring at it in confusion for a moment. 

It held a lot of numbers  that Bill could only skim over, having less than a little understanding of math. It was the small paragraph in Audra’s writing stapled to the back of the accounting information that caught Bill’s attention. 

_ I want to thank you for everything you’ve done to help me these past few weeks. You’ve really changed my life for the better! It means so, so much to me. I hope we can continue seeing each other. _

Bill lowered the letter slowly, frowning deeply at it. Shaking his head as though, he looked at the wooden door of the their apartment and glared at it as though Audra could possibly tell it was happening. Pursing his lips, Bill ripped the personal note off the back of the financial papers and threw it into the garbage as he left the apartment. 

**→  → →**

“I can’t believe you’re not going to be here.” Eddie grumbled, looking at the whole chicken in front of him as though it had personally insulted his whole family. Richie came up and wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist, dropping his chin onto Eddie’s shoulder. He pressed a kiss to his husband’s cheek, drawing a small, half-happy hum from Eddie’s lips.  

“I won’t be gone the whole time,” Richie reminded him. “I’ll probably be back before she even gets here. Even if I’m not, it won’t be long. I’ll run over to Mike’s, pick up the girls, and we’ll be here in no time. You’ll only have to do a little bit of buffering for us.”

“I know,” Eddie sighed glumly, turning around in Richie’s embrace and pouting up at him. “I just wish that the buffer time didn’t have to be entirely making dinner. I’m a terrible cook, and you know it.”

Richie laughed, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Eddie’s forehead. “That is not true. Frankie is very fond of your cooking.”

“Oh, yeah,” Eddie rolled his eyes, though a smile tugged at his lips. “I’ve gotten really good at mac and cheese with microwaved hot dogs.”

Richie raised his eyebrows. “You  _ microwave  _ the hot dogs?”

Eddie made a pitiful noise. 

**→  → →**

Ben hung little Frankie Kaspbrak upside down, swishing her back and forth like a pendulum, while the child shrieked with laughter. Mike looked up from where he was feeding Marty and smiled. “You know, you’re really good with her. You ever think about having kids, Ben?”

“Bev doesn’t want to have kids,” Ben responded immediately before his face contorted up in pain. Ben dropped little Frankie onto the couch, then sat down beside him. He sighed slowly, shaking his head regretfully at himself, while he stared angrily down at his hands. Mike kept Marty close to his chest, coming to sit beside Ben. Frankie immediately moved from where she’d been resting on the couch to crawl into Mike’s lap. He took one girl in each arm and looked at his troubled friend.

“I know this is the last thing you want to hear,” Mike said, seeing how Ben stiffened. “But I really think you aren’t going to feel any better until you talk to Beverly. In some way or another, you’ve had feelings for her since we were in the seventh grade and-”

“And she’s always liked somebody else more than me,” Ben responded a little sharply, squeezing his eyes shut. “Whether it was Bill or Richie or somebody else, it wasn’t ever me. And that was okay, because she was still the Bev I knew, that I loved. And because if it was never me, then I couldn’t really be getting hurt. But then it was me… for a little while, until it wasn’t me again. I don’t know how to look at her anymore.”

Mike wasn’t sure even how much Ben Hanscom knew about what happened with Beverly last week, but God knows his only personal experience knew that pushing Ben to have any conversation with Bev right now wouldn’t do anybody any good. Mike sighed, and decided to let the one sore subject drop. “So, what are you going to do? About your job?”

“I’m going to have to find something temporary, or I’m going to lose my apartment.” Ben admitted, looking over at baby Marty. He smiled softly at the little Kaspbrak baby, waving at her. Marty let out a little gurgly giggle, reaching out and grabbing at Ben’s fingers. Ben let out a small happy laugh. “Do you think Eddie and Richie would mind if I kept her?”

“Yes.” Mike said with a laugh. “Eddie would break your knee caps.”

“That’s fine,” Ben chuckled. “I could go on disability then, and not worry about anything for awhile. Except the pain in my knees, but I’m sure that will happen anyway with time.”

Mike laughed, then let out a small gasp. “Ben, do you like dogs? 

**→  → →**

“And if you look here…” The ultrasound technician pointed to the black screen. 

“Wow…” Bill leaned in a little closer, hardly able to see the white movement on the screen. It didn’t matter what that he could barely see it, he could feel it in his gut. That was his baby, a baby that only in a few months would come out and become the first step to Bill Denbrough’s family. The start of his life, his and Audra’s life. 

The letter came flooding forward in his mind, and nerves bubbled back up alongside the already growing love for that tiny baby. Swallowing slightly, Bill laser focused on his unborn baby so that he wouldn’t look at Audra and have his mood ruined.

“And I can let you know the gender-” The tech told them, beginning to put the machine away.

“Oh no,” Audra said, sitting on slightly and resting on her elbow. Bill looked over to her, letter flashing before his eyes, and frowned. “We don’t want to know the gender. As long as we have a happy and healthy baby, that’s what matters.”

Bill frowned deeper, imagining a baby room with ugly yellow walls and a baby shower with neutral coloured clothes. No little dresses for a girl, no baseball hats with his little baby son. “Actually-”

“Alright,” the doctor said happily, speaking right over Bill’s attempted argument. “We’ll still be having regular appointments for the rest of your pregnancy, so if at any point in time you change your mind, just let me know.”

“ _ Actually-”  _ Bill attempted to speak up again, but Audra rushed over him once again.

“Absolutely, but we’re firm on this decision.”

Bill huffed angrily, and leaned back in his seat with his arms crossed.

**→  → →**

Richie looked Beverly over as he came into the diner. She looked terrible, her red haired was greasy and matted to her head, and her uniform was stained and dirty. There were deep circles under her eyes, and Richies stomach tensed slightly. There was still a small part of Richie that wanted to make things okay for her again, but he squared up his shoulders and moved forward. He knew what he had to do here, and it wasn’t comfort Beverly Marsh.

“Thanks for meeting me,” Beverly said, voice sounding rough and ragged. Richie pursed his lips and walked past his friend, taking a seat the table closest to them. Beverly sighed softly, looking around the empty building before sitting across from him. 

“I want to apologize for kissing you,” Beverly said. “It was wrong, I know. I never should have done it. It was a terrible decision, and I never would have done it if I’d been in the right mind but everything had been just dramatic that night and-”

“You think I’m mad because you kissed me?” Richie asked incredulously.

“I, no, I know that…” Beverly floundered, looking at him with wide eyes. 

“No, Beverly. You don’t get it.” Richie said, reaching up to pinch the brim of his nose. Beverly’s mouth dropped open slightly, then she frowned slightly. “I’m not mad that you kissed me. It’s… not great, yeah. I’m  _ mad  _ about how you spoke to my husband, in front of our children. I still can’t believe you pulled that shit.”

“I don’t know why I said that to him,” Beverly said, wrapping her hands tighter around her hot mug of tea. “I shouldn’t have said.”

“You shouldn’t have thought it.” Richie said sharply. He inhaled deeply, remembering his promise to himself that he wasn’t going to yell at her. “As though… what, Bev? As though you have some sort of claim on me?  _ Rights  _ to me? Or that Eddie does? I don’t  _ belong  _ to anybody! I’m not a necklace, I can’t be  _ stolen.” _

“Oh, Richie,” Beverly laughed lightly, shaking her head. “Don’t get all hung up on that. You know it’s not as bad as you’re making it seem. I don’t think Eddie stole you from me, obviously.”

“Good.” Richie said angrily, leg bouncing underneath the table. “Because I didn’t cheat on you.  _ I  _ would never cheat on somebody.”

Beverly pursed his lips. “Is that a snide comment about me still being married and being with Ben?”

“Or a snide comment about you kissing me while you were with Ben,” Richie said cheerfully, sipping at his tea shortly. “Take your pick of what you think is worse.”

“Look, Richie, I don’t need you to tell me I fucked up!” Beverly whined. She pushed her cup away and leaned across the table, resting her hands on top of Richie’s. “I don’t want to be with you, Richie. I definitely don’t want to break up your family. I’m so happy for you and Eddie, even if-”

“Stop.” Richie pulled his hands away. “Why do you always have to do that? Why can’t you just say a nice thing and apologize? Why do you always have to top it off with something fucking offensive and self entitled?”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!” Beverly cried, shaking her head indignantly.

“I  _ imagine  _ it was going to be something about us dating in high school,” Richie responded, equally angry. “Maybe tossing in something fucking insulting about Eddie,  _ maybe  _ something vaguely homophobic, with the notion that you and I would have somehow ended up together as though I didn’t  _ dump your ass  _ of my own free will.”

Beverly’s mouth dropped open but Richie ran right over her potential words. “No.  _ Shut up _ . Talking only seems to make things worse for yourself. I broke up with you almost fourteen years ago. Not because I liked Eddie, not even because I was questioning liking boys. I broke up with you, because I didn’t like  _ you  _ anymore. My relationship with you was over, and it didn’t overlap with my relationship with Eddie. They’re  _ not connected.  _ They are not exclusive, you do  _ not  _ get to act as though you’re owed a goddamn thing. Even if I had fallen in love with Eddie, I still wouldn’t have been in love with you.” 

Beverly’s mouth was still hanging open as Richie pushed away from the table. Yeah. He’d broken his promise, but sometimes it was hard to keep emotions inside. He’d stepped back and let Eddie take the lead at home with Beverly, but he’d had his own- different- bones to pick with his ex-girlfriend. He walked out of the diner, tugging his jacket around his shoulders then strolled to a stop.

Eddie was coming down the street slowly and Richie picked up the pace to meet him. “Hey, Eds. Sorry that took longer than I expected, is my mom already here-”

Richie got a better look at his husband then, the paleness of his face, the redness of his eyes and the streaks of tears on his cheeks. Richie rushed forward, resting his hands on Eddie’s shoulders and bending slightly to look Eddie straight in the eyes. “Baby, what happened? Are you okay?”

“Chee…” Eddie said sadly, bringing out the nickname he hadn't used in a good ten years and shaking his head slightly. “Elii called, she…. There was an incident with the plane. When it uh… when it started going down, I guess the air pressure or something…” Eddie pursed his lips and took in a long, shaky breath. “Maggie, she… She had a stroke. They were still in the air and the airline medic can only do so… she didn’t make it. I’m  _ so  _ sorry, baby.”

Richie felt like he’s been tossed into a tub of pure ice, his entire body going numb. He blinked and opened his mouth slightly, taking in the sight of his tearful husband watching him fearfully. Richie cleared his throat. “My mom’s dead?”

Eddie let out a pitiful sob, taking those few final steps to press himself up against Richie’s chest. Richie felt as Eddie’s tears wet his shirt, but he barely contained the motor function to bring his arms up and wrap them around him. 

 


	12. IT's the grieving process

**NIGHT TWO**

Eddie pressed the phone to his ear, trying to maintain to composure when he could hear Frankie babbling in the background on the other end of the line. “Thank you again, Mikey.” Eddie sighed, knuckling at the tears he hoped that Mike wasn’t able to hear. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.”

“You don’t need to thank me at all, Eddie.” Mike assured him for the millionth time in the last 48 hours. “I’ll always take care of the girls if you need me to. You take care of your boy.”

Eddie looked down the hallway towards his and Richie’s marriage bedroom and sighed. “I wish I knew how. He’s just… barricading himself in our room. He won't even answer me when I knock on the door. I just don’t know what to do. I slept in Bev’s room last night, and it was cold and lonely and awful.”

“Richie’s locked himself in your room?” Mike asked, the obvious concern in his voice starting to leak out. 

Eddie shook his head, though Mike couldn’t see that. “No, no, it isn’t locked. Richie would never lock me out, I’m not sure that he even knows that our bedroom door has a locked. He’s not a locked door kind of guy, it just… it feels wrong to intrude on his grief. I’ve never seen him like this, he’s basically catatonic. And I’m scared.”

“I know it looks bad right now, Eddie.” Mike’s voice were soothing and made a small sense of calm settle over Eddie. He still felt that helplessness he’d felt fourteen years ago when Richie had told Eddie he’d caught his father having an affair, only upped to a hundred. That feeling of knowing Richie’s life was going to change forever, and there was nothing Eddie could do to make it easier for him. “But I think Richie needs to know that you’re there for him. And not in that…  _ oh he knows I’m always there for him  _ kind of way. I think you need to really make it clear. Tell him.”

Immediately, Eddie wanted to respond that Richie knew. Of course, he knew. In the last ten years, he and Richie had hardly even needed to speak in order to exchange information. But maybe Mike was right.  _ Knowing  _ that Eddie was there for him wouldn’t be the same as Eddie showing him. 

Eddie sighed. “I don’t want to push him. Mike, you know what Richie is like when he’s-”

“Eddie, I adore you, but I don’t think any of us can really know what Richie is like or wants in this situation. Not even Richie.” Mike said gently. “He’s never been through this before, and he wasn’t expecting it. I’ve been mentally preparing myself for my dad to die for the last five years. One second Richie was talking to his mom on the phone about picking her from the airport, the next she was gone. He probably has no idea how to deal with this, Richie’s bad enough at his own emotions.”

Eddie nodded, rubbing a hand over his face. “I barely remember when my dad died. I know his was sick, I can sort of remember, but most of what I know about it is from what my mother told me. Those things could easily not even be true.” Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, the last thing he wanted to think about at this moment was to think about Sonia. “The Toziers had always been my real family anyway.”

“Yeah.” Mike said, remembering. “I know this must be hard, Eddie, and there’s go right way for you or Richie to respond. I wish I could be more help.”

“You’ve helped tons, Mike.” Eddie laughed sadly. “More than I could even I could have even expected. You’re one of the best people I know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Mike chuckled dryly. “Good night, Eddie. Take care of your man. Everything else will come in time.”

Eddie said his goodbyes and hung up the phone. It was a little bit earlier for him to go to bed normally, especially with the rest of the week off work, but Eddie had found that he’d just been completely exhausted the past few days. He moved down the hallway towards the room he should really start calling the guest room again, but couldn’t stop thinking of as Beverly’s room, but stopped. Thought on what Mike had just told him. 

He turned and walked into his bedroom. Richie was awake, Eddie could see his eyes were open, but he barely responded to Eddie entering the room. Eddie padded over to his side of the bed, already in his pajamas having not changed all day, and crawled in beside his stiff husband. 

“Goodnight, Rich.” Eddie said sadly, turning onto his side and facing the wall instead of at his empty husband. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” Richie said through a rough and dry throat, because Richie had never not returned an I love you. They spent the night in the same bed, on opposite sides.

**DAY THREE**

“Frankie, I know you’re frustrated but I need you to put on your shoes please.” Mike said, kneeling in front of the toddler with his hands on his knees. He knew that Frankie was a fan of getting herself ready as much as she could, but this morning it had just been one long struggle. 

Frankie grabbed the small blue sneaker off the ground in front of her and threw it away. “No!” Frankie cried, her voice dripping with whine. She kicked her little feet out, smacking them against the hardwood floor of Mike’s apartment. “I do’ wanna go anywhere! I wanna go  _ home _ !”

Mike sighed. It had been like this all morning. When he’d put the girl to bed the night before, she had been her usually bubbly self. That had all changed over night, Frankie being tired and cranky from the second her eyes had opened and regularly demanding to be taken home. He understood the girls distress, but her mad mood seemed to rubbing off on her baby sister as well and Mike was positive he wasn’t going to handle them both like this all day. 

“Sweetie, I know this doesn't seem like fun to you.” Mike said, holding his hand out for Frankie to take. She did, though she was still glowering up at him. It was funny, for a child who was adopted, how much she looked like Eddie sometimes. “I know you want to go home, and I’ll take you home soon.”

“Take me home day!” Frankie cried, kicking at Mike’s ankles. “I want home! I want my daddys!”

Mike sighed sadly, pulling Frankie into his lap. The grumpy child immediately settled into chest. She made a sad noise as she nuzzled against him. “I know, I know. Soon, okay? I’ll take you home soon, I  _ promise.”  _

Frankie looked up at him, pouting deeply. She didn’t give him an answer before they turned towards the living room at the sound of Ben’s startled gasp. Mike scooped Frankie up in his arms and walked into the arm, stopping suddenly at the sight of little Marty, propped up on her stomach, mostly just dragging herself across the floor. Ben was staring down at her in shock. 

“Is she crawling?” Mike asked, staring down at the small baby. Mike quickly looked towards Frankie, was who looking at her sister with a bored expression. “Has she ever done that before?”

“No.” Frankie said simply, rather uninterested. 

Mike and Ben stared at each other in horror before Ben hurried to scoop Marty up in his arms. They looked at each other for a moment longer before Mike pointed at him. “Nobody tells Eddie about this.” 

**Later that night,** Bill Denbrough let himself into the little 24 diner and sighed. Beverly was sitting up at the front counter, with two empty cups in front of her and a third that was half full. Her red hair seemed dimmer in colour, piled up on top of her head. Her face seemed pale and gaunt, the circles under her eyes so dark they looked as though she’d been punched.

“Where do you stay on your days off?” Bill asked, walking up to her and slapping a five dollar bill down onto the counter. 

Beverly looked up at him, eyes blank before she scowled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Beverly said dryly, grabbing the orange cranberry muffin for Bill and dropping it on the plate in front of him.

“Okay, sure. Whatever.” Bill rolled his eyes, ripping the top off the muffin as he sat at one of the counter stools. “When are you going to go over and see Richie? I’m assuming you heard about Maggie.”

“Yeah,” Beverly said in a broken voice, pressing her hands over her eyes. “Eddie doesn’t want to see me.”

“Who the fuck  _ cares  _ what Eddie wants?” Bill asked, frowning. “This isn’t about Eddie, it’s about Richie. Whatever you did to make Eddie so mad, I doubt it matters now. I’m s-s-sure he’s not even thinking about it.” 

“You don’t understand, you don’t know what I did.” Beverly said, shaking her head but Bill gave her a dark look.

“No, I don’t know what happened.” Bill said, with a shrug. “But I some shit, too, and yeah- Rich was pissed at me. I’m sure it’s worse than whatever you d-did, Bev. But if we want to act like it’s bigger than Maggie dying, we’re worse people than I thought we were.” 

Beverly sighed, shaking her head. “Eddie and Richie don’t want me in their lives. They’ve made that clear, Bill.”

“Richie has only ever cut one person out of his life, and that was Stan.” Bill said, frowning. “Are you trying to say what you do was worse than what Stan did to him?”

Beverly swallowed a hard mouthful of the now-cold coffee and looked pained. “Maybe. I don’t know… maybe.”

Bill shook his head. “There’s no way, Bev. You’d never do something that could hurt Richie like that. Or anything close to that.”

“I’ve done things that have hurt Richie before.” Beverly said, finally meeting Bill’s eyes full on. Flashing starting showing for them, remembering that betrayal of that many summers past.

“Let yourself o-off the hook for that B-Bev,” Bill said quietly. “You didn’t ch-cheat. You aren’t a ch-cheater.” 

Beverly laughed humorlessly. “I think you’re wrong there, Billy Boy. I’m pretty sure that’s actually what I am. Beverly Rogan; Homewrecker.”

Bill blinked. “You used your married name.”

Beverly looked back at him, gaping. “I… I guess I did.”

Silence settled over them, stifling and uncomfortable. 

“I need to find somewhere to live.”

**DAY FOUR**

Eddie was startled by the sound of his front door opening. He was in the middle of making some grilled cheese and tomato soup for himself and Richie. The day before Richie had finally began to accept the food that Eddie offered him, though he’d still hadn’t spoken a word outside of returning Eddie’s I love you’s. Everytime he heard the gravel of Richie’s voice, Eddie wanted to break down into tears but he continued to tell himself that his time to grieve would come.

“POPS!” He heard his daughter cry as she ran into the house as fast as her little legs could take her. Eddie’s heart jumped into his throat and his eyes were overtaken with tears. He stumbled slightly as he dropped down to collect his daughter in his arms. He pushed back up to his feet, squeezing his arms around Frankie, then moved to take Marty into his grip as well. He barely even looked at his two friends. “Oh my God…”

Eddie cupped the back of Frankie’s head and looked up at Mike and Ben through tears. “I… I don’t think we’re ready to have them back here. I... Richie’s still in bed, he…” 

“Keeping you guys separate isn’t helping anybody.” Mike said firmly. “It’s making your girls upset, and I can see it hasn’t been easy on you. You might think Richie needs space, and maybe he does, but you guys just lost a very important person to you  _ both.  _ And  _ you _ , Eddie, need your family.” 

Eddie made a pitiful noise from the back of his throat, and shuffled forward to let Mike wrap him and the girls up into a hug. With a child in each arm, Eddie couldn’t hug his best friend back but he rested his head on Mike’s chest and knew that he knew how thankful Eddie was to have him.

“I’ll be back,” Ben said, glancing into the kitchen and sighing. “I think we’re going to need more than just a grilled cheese and soup to feed us all.”

Eddie pulled back, stared at Ben with wide eyes. “Oh, Benny… you guys don’t have to stay. Really, I’ll be okay-”

Ben cut him off, shaking his head with a soft smile. “You heard what Mike said. You need your family right now. I’ll be back. Chinese or Italian?”

Eddie’s bottom lip trembled for a moment before he took in shaky breath. “Italian. Please bring extra bread.”

“You got it, Kaspbrak.” Ben nodded as he walked back out of the house and into the night. This was only the third time he’d been to the Kaspbrak house, but he knew well enough that there was a nice Italian place down the road that even Beverly- a woman who would only accept Mexican take out- raved about. The idea of visiting it- where he and Bev had their first date after getting together- made him feel a little sick. He found himself wandering past it and ended up in the subway station. 

Sighing, Ben went to turn around and head back to that stupid Italian food place when he noticed a familiar person sitting on a bench. Beverly Marsh was sitting crossed legged on the cement bench, wrapped up in an oversized purple sweater that had to have belonged to Richie Tozier. Ben inhaled deeply, wondering if he could- in good conscious- just walk away before he moved over to the bench and stood in front of his ex-girlfriend, and love of his life.

Beverly looked up slowly when she noticed his shoes, staring with panic as though she’d seen a ghost. “What are you doing, Bev?” Ben asked her softly, trying to keep his heart harder than his words. 

Beverly shook his head and coughed roughly. “I’m uh… waiting for my shift to start.” 

“When does your shift start?” Ben asked, scratching the back of his neck and trying his hardest to not look at Beverly. 

“Tomorrow night at nine.” 

Ben jerked to look at her, at her work uniform underneath Richie’s sweater, to the grease matted ponytail and makeup less face. It didn’t look like the Beverly Marsh he’d always known. This was a person who’d reached the ultimate low. “Bev, where are you living?”

Beverly swallowed, eyes starting to tear up. “I work the overnight shifts, so it’s really fine. I only have the two days off a week and-”

“And you’ve been sleeping in the subway station on those days off?” Ben asked, feeling his heart sinking to the bottom of his stomach. 

Beverly laughed blandly. “Well, I haven’t done much sleeping but yeah… I’ve been hanging out here.” 

Ben ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes fluttering closed. “Come on. I’m going to get food then heading back to Eddie and Richie’s and crashing there tonight.”

Beverly started shaking her head frantically, even as she accepted Ben’s outstretched hand. “No, I can’t go there. I fucked up, they kicked me out, they don’t want to-”

“Bev, shut up.” Ben said a little sharply, taking her aback. “Eddie is not going to give a shit if you come back with me right now, or if you ask to use his shower. I promise. Your petty drama is the last thing on his mind. I’m not going to pretend you aren’t going through something bad right now, but frankly, Bev- we all fucking are. Life sucks. Spend time with people who don’t.” Bev looked at Ben for a long time with tears in her eyes. “Please. Come get dinner. You can’t live off coffee, pastries and no sleep.”

Beverly nodded slowly, taking Ben’s hand as they turned out of the subway station and started to walk back towards life. 

When they reached the house with food in hand, Bill and Audra were already sitting around the living room. Frankie, seeming much much happier than she had been with Mike and Ben the past two days, was putting tiny pink elastics all through Bill’s hair. Audra was staring at him as though it was the first time she’d seen him. Mike and Eddie were both sitting on the couch, Eddie holding onto his youngest daughter as though he was afraid to put her down. 

Richie was still nowhere to be seen. 

Eddie looked up from Marty’s face, expression already blank before he even looked at Beverly. When he saw her, a small hint of red appeared on his cheeks, but he just looked back down to his daughter and told Ben where he could find plates. 

They had all been sitting around the Kaspbrak’s living room for only a few short minutes before the front door banged open again. Eddie sat up straighter, as though counting the people in the room, before every eye in the room turned towards the front foyer. 

Stanley Uris rushed in, hair a mess and shirt tucked. Patty came in just behind him, looking just as put together as always, despite the time coming close to midnight. Eddie clenched his jaw, and stared Stan down. Stan seemed to wither under the weight of the glare, but he didn’t move. Didn’t leave.

“UNCLE STAN!” Frankie cried, jumping away from Bill and running at the new surprise guest. Several difference expressions came over Eddie’s face in a single moment, before he turned to look at Beverly with his mouth agape. Beverly had already covered her face with her hands.

“Uncle Stan!” Frankie tugged on Stan’s pant leg, a sure sign that she wanted him to kneel down to speak to her. Stan let his eyes fall away from Eddie and did as Frankie was wanting. “My daddy is real sad. He won’t leave the bed. Pops is worried, everybody is sad.”

Stan gave the concerned girl a small smile. “I know, honey. It’s gonna be okay.”

Frankie’s face seemed to light up as she looked at Stan. “YOU can make my daddy happy again!”

Stan flushed. “Oh, sweetie, I don’t think I’m the person your dad wants to-”

“You are, you can do it!” Frankie yanked at Stanley’s shirt. “You’re my daddy’s  _ best  _ friend. He told me. There was the picture in his room, and I didn’t know who you were, and I askeded and he said  _ that’s my best friend, Stan.”  _

All the adults in the room, excluding Stan, turned to look at Eddie on the couch. Eddie continued to watch Frankie and Stan interacting, a small, sad smile on his face. Stan had tears in his head and had to press his lips together to stop from crying in front of the small girl. 

“You can make my daddy come out of his room.” Frankie said once more, patting Stan on the shoulder with her tiny baby hand. Stan swallowed and looked up, eyes finding Eddie and seeing nothing else. Eddie let out a short sigh, before gesturing towards the hallway for Stan to go. 

Stan stood on shaky legs and walked down the hall. There was only one room with a shut door, and his gut knew that Richie was in there. It was entirely possible that Richie was already sleep, that this was waste of time in more way than one, but he found himself knocking anyway. “Hey, Richie.”

Silence. Absolute, dead silence. It was eery, terrifying. So unlike Richie to give no response.

“I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from.” Stan said, leaning backwards up against the door and sliding down to the floor. “But for some reason, your daughter seems to think I’m perfect person to get you out of this room. They probably want to shower.”

Stan winced, and still didn’t receive a response from inside the room. Of course, humour wasn’t going to get him through his. If there was humorous way out, Richie would’ve found it by now.

“I’m so sorry about your mom, Rich.” Stan said, sinking to the ground and letting his knees come up to his chest. “She was… probably one of the best people I’d ever met. You know, one of those people you kind of feel like you didn’t even deserve to know.” 

Stan inhaled deeply. For a quick second, he wondered if his old friends in the living room could hear him but decided to throw those fears away. He had to put himself all out there if he was going to get anywhere. “You’re one of those people, too, Richie. I hope you know that. It’s crazy to think about how many people in your life have had the honour to meet you, and just haven’t appreciated it. Completely took it for granted. Your dad, your sister… me. You and your mom, Richie… too good for all of us.”

Stan thought he heard the sound of a bed creaking, and his heart was settled heavily in his throat now. “Your mom came to see me, before I left Derry. I don’t know if she ever told you. The day I leaving, she came over. I didn’t have a going away party, since none of you were speaking to me and I just wanted to get the fuck outta Dodge…” Stan chuckled wetly, remembering the day. “But your mom came over and I was so scared that I almost hid in my room and told my parents to send her away. I thought she was going to rip me a new asshole for what I did to you. And I would’ve deserved it, I know, but I wasn’t ready for Maggie to look me in the eyes and tell me that she hated me. That  _ you  _ hated me.”

There was a thump behind Stan, as though a weight had pressed up against the door on the other side. 

“But that’s not what she said.” Stan continued after the sound. “She’d brought me some  _ ugly fucking lamp-  _ you would’ve loved it. I remember that being my first thought when I saw it. But she…” Stan swallowed roughly and it took him a moment to find his bearings. “She hugged him, and she wished me good luck in college. She said that- that I’m not what I did. That she would never hold it against me, because she knows that person I really am- the person I was going to become- would never do it, and that I’d hate myself for it more than anybody else ever could.”

Stan knuckled at the tears that were travelling down his face almost angrily. “And she was probably right. There hasn’t been one day in the last ten years that I haven’t thought about. Regretted it. Hated myself for it. But I’ve also remembered what Maggie said to me about it, how she was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt when I didn’t deserve it at all. I had done nothing to deserve your mother’s kindness, but she gave it to me anyway. Because that’s who she was; kind. And so are you. You’re just like her. And I bet she was proud of you every single day.”

The door behind Stan was suddenly ripped open, and Stan nearly fell flat on his back. He scrambled up to his feet and turned around, staring at Richie. Richie looked worse than Stan had ever been able to imagine he would, his hair so dirty and greasy it looked almost straight and flattened to his head, and it seemed as though he’d lost too weight in too short a period of time. Stan’s heart clenched and he couldn’t hold back the small, sad sound that he made. 

Richie tumbled forward as though his legs couldn’t hold him anymore, and crashed directly into Stan’s chest. Stan’s arms came out immediately, reflexively, and flew around Richie. He held Richie to him, swaying them back and forth for a moment. Stan squeezed at Richie, the first time he’d touched him in a decade, and had to close his eyes as emotions threatened to over take him completely. 

Too soon for Stan’s liking, Richie pulled back and wiped at his tears. Seeing that, Stan wiped at his own and gave a small laugh. Richie smiled at him, and though the expression didn’t quite reach his eyes, it was better than any look from him Stan had gotten recently. “My… uhm…” Richie cleared his throat, speaking seeming painful. “Eds… my girls?”

“They’re in the living room,” Stan said with a nod. Richie nodded back at him, and they moved towards the living room without speaking. The moment Frankie got sight of the two of them, she let out an over excited cry. She ran from Mike’s side towards her father. Richie knelt to scoop her up as reached him, spinning her around. 

“Daddy still sad?” Frankie asked, looking seriously at her father.

Richie gave a small smile. “Yeah, baby. Daddy’s still sad. But it’s going to be okay.”

Frankie wrapped her arms around Richie’s neck and rested her head against him, giving the only kind of comfort she’d learned how. Richie closed his eyes.

Eddie stood then, staring at though in a daze, and walked towards his husband and daughter. He paid so little attention that he stepped on Ben’s hand, not noticing the way Ben had to fight not to curse and break the silence in the room. 

When Eddie was standing only inches from Richie, Richie’s eyes opened. They landed on Eddie, still holding baby Marty, and he held a single arm out. Eddie let out a small, choked sob and fell into Richie’s arms. 

Bill turned to Beverly, trying to whisper. “I think Eddie and Richie might be dating.”


	13. IT's exposure hour

Mike could tell that the only thing keeping Eddie from having some sort of screaming fit was his husband’s hand resting in his lap. It was looking rather like a Kaspbrak family doggy pile on top of Eddie. Richie hadn’t remained standing for very long, still feeling the kind of tired that only sadness to give you, and flopped down onto the couch almost immediately. Eddie had forced everybody away from him, tucking up underneath Richie’s drooping head and immediately started carding his fingers through Richie’s matted curls. Frankie had immediately curled up at Eddie’s side and started mimicking the patting of her father’s head. Marty had been rested on Richie’s chest, and everytime a different person attempted to hold her she let out the smallest, most pitiful of cries. Mike was pretty sure he’d never heard another living thing sound so sad.

Richie’s eyes were closed, but Mike didn’t think he was sleeping. Mike wasn’t really paying attention to Richie anyway-- he was looking at Eddie. More specifically, to the tightness of his jaw and rough posture of his shoulders. Mike liked to believe that he, above every person this world besides Richie, knew Eddie Kaspbrak the best. He’d known the moment Beverly had come into the apartment that the fire would’ve been light under Eddie, and he was surprised it had been so long since Stan arrived and Eddie the Volcano hadn’t erupted. 

Mike had been trying to catch Eddie’s gaze, but he’d been more than stubborningly avoiding it. 

The conversation in the room was hushed, almost non-existent. Maybe they all thought Richie was asleep, or maybe the moment just felt too power to interrupt. Or maybe everybody could tell how close Eddie was to snapping at somebody, and they just wanted to keep it from happening. 

Ben leaned forward, tapping his fingers against Beverly’s shoulders. She startled, looking around to him and Ben nodded towards the kitchen off the end of the living room. They both stood and moved through the living room, trying to pretend they weren’t drawing attention to themselves. 

“I have a suggestion for you.” Ben said in a low voice. “I quit my job at the architecture firm. After everything that happened with you, I realized I needed to take more control of my life. I’m living with Mike right now, he’s letting me crash on his couch, and it’s great but I need to get my money. A job. Get my shit together. And it all got me thinking that the happiest I’ve ever been was when I was designing those houses.”

“They’re beautiful houses, Ben.” Beverly said softly, nodding at him. She remembered the awe she’d felt seeing them, knowing that Ben,  _ her Ben,  _ had made them like that. She smiled at him and he gave her the smallest, half smile in return.

“On the outside, they’re beautiful. Inside they’re empty.” Ben said lightly, eyes looking far away. Beverly bit her bottom lip. “I know you need more secured living, something big to work at so I was thinking of asking you if maybe you’d like to help me design houses.”

Beverly’s mouth dropped open, heart starting to race in her chest. “You… you want me to help you? After everything I did.”

Ben clenched his jaw, seemingly looking anywhere but in Beverly’s eyes. “Whatever happened between us romantically doesn’t change that you were one of the most important people to be most of my life.”

“You know, we keep saying that but is true?” Beverly said quietly. Ben frowned at her, tilting his head to the side. “Like, we’re all here, but it's a little like sitting in a room full of strangers. We’ve been separated longer than some of us were even friends.”

“I have to agree with Beverly.” A deep voice came from behind them. Ben and Beverly both turned around, Beverly’s stomach dropping to her feet when she spotted Eddie leaning against the wall. His arms were crossed and he was frowning at them. The bags under his eyes were obviously even from nearly a foot apart, and Beverly felt her heart clench in sadness. The deep tiredness over her former friend’s face was killing her, filling her with a sickness in her chest that she couldn’t explain. “Sometimes it’s like I don’t know any of you guys at all.”

“Eddie…” Beverly said quietly, her voice coming out as hardly more than a whine. Ben glanced between them with wide eyes, shifting between his feet and looking ready to take a run from the room. “Do we need to do this now?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, stomping towards the fridge and grabbing a can of ginger ale from the fridge. “I’m just here to get a drink for my husband. You’re the one who invited themselves somewhere they weren’t welcome.”  

Beverly winced, eyes closing with shame. Ben let out a low whistle. “Eddie, come on.” He said, shaking his head. “Don’t you think that’s a little-”

“A little what?” Eddie asked coldly, pursing his lips together harshly. “She kissed my husband, then accused me of stealing him from her in the first place.” Ben’s mouth dropped open and he turned to look at Beverly in half-horror, but Eddie barrelled on. “ _ Not to mention,  _ it seems as though you’ve introduced my children to Stanley Uris without my or Richie’s permission!”

Beverly and Ben glanced at each other then quickly dropped their gazes away. “Eddie, we just needed to his help because we’d misplaced Marty and-” 

“You WHAT!” Eddie shrieked, slamming the can down onto the counter and glowering at the pair in front of him. “You better be fucking kidding me, because if you’re not-”

Stan walked in, eyes wide and mouth in tight line. “What is going on?” Stan asked, glancing between them all and looking highly put on. 

Eddie let out an angry huff of breath, eyes flashing. “Oh, no. You?  _ You  _ fuck off.”

Stan annoyed expression quickly melted into something weaker, something almost fearful. “Eddie…”

“ _ No.”  _ Eddie cried. “Don’t you  _ Eddie  _ me! You can walk in here and give some stupid emotional speech to Richie when he’s already vulnerable all you want, but that’s not going to work on me. You can trick Richie into forgiving you, because maybe it was bound to happen, Richie’s a forgiving person. But it wasn’t just Richie you screwed, Stanley. You did something horrible to him, but you didn’t have to deal with anything that happened after. You weren’t  _ there  _ as he fell apart, and you sure as hell wasn’t there to pick him back up, and put him back together.  _ That was me.  _ You did what you did, and paid absolutely no consequences for it. You went off to school, and you say you felt guilty this whole time, but facts are: I sat in a tiny New York apartment with a border catatonic, empty Richie Tozier for a year and help him through what  _ you did.  _ Me, not you. You did  _ nothing _ . So, yes, maybe Richie forgives you because that’s who Richie is but…” 

Eddie stepped closer to Stan, right into his face. There were tears tingling in his eyes, and Stan swayed slightly like he may fall over. Beverly shuffled backwards, stepping into Ben’s side. 

“I will  _ never  _ forgive you.”

Eddie pushed past Stan, who had gone pale and lower lip was shaking, and stomped out of the kitchen. He didn’t move towards the living room, instead taking a hard left and fleeing from the home. Stan pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes and let out a soft exhale. Ben moved towards the entryway, noting as Mike came from the living room. 

“Eddie, he-” Ben gestured towards the front door.

Mike sighed and nodded. “I was sort of waiting for that, yeah. I’ll go talk to him.” Mike put his feet on and disappeared out the front door, grabbing a pair of Eddie’s shoes off the floor. Ben fiddled with his hands, debating if he should go but simply turned around and moved back to the crowd of his old friends in the living room. Mike and Eddie had always had a strong friendship that Ben wasn’t sure he’d ever felt with anyone. 

Ben got back into the living room and immediately made eye contact with Richie. The other boy was now sitting up, albeit a little slouched and sideways, with his youngest baby daughter cradled in his arms. The look of deep concern was settled on Richie’s face was mirrored on little Frankie’s face as well, both looking up at Ben as though he held more answers then he could have ever dreamed of. Stan and Beverly hadn’t come back into the room.

“It’s okay,” Ben said stiffly with a nod. “Mike is talking to him.” 

Frankie nodded as seriously at a three year old possibly could, settling back up against her dad’s side, but Richie looked much less convinced. Bill reached out and patted Richie lightly on the shoulder, but Richie pulled back from the touch. “You guys don’t need to stay,” he said in a low, empty voice. “I’m fine.”

Bill looked towards Ben, exchanging nervous looks. The little baby in Richie’s arms cooed softly and Richie’s gaze dropped down to her, softening. Blocking out the rest of the room, the rest of the world. It was just Richie and his girls. 

Audra smiled. “We’re not going anywhere. We need to stick together in times like this. I know we don’t know much about each other, but I like to think we’re a family. A family is what’s most important.”

Stan and Beverly moved back into the room now, Stan with red eyes and Beverly rubbing at his back. Patty stood quickly, moving to wrap her arms around her fiancee’s middle. He hugged her back quickly, leaning down to bury his face against her shoulders. 

Bill let out a half disgusted scoff. “That’s rich,” he muttered under his breath. 

Every eye in the room turned to him, even Richie’s. There was a rough silence for a moment, while Audra’s eyes narrowed. “What that was, William?” 

“Oh, nothing, baby.” Bill said in a sugary sweet voice. “I just think it’s interesting to hear a speech about the importance of family from the woman who’s cheating on the father of her unborn child.”

Audra’s mouth dropped open. Bill glared her down. Ben scratched the back of his neck and glanced at the ground. Stan and Patty glanced awkwardly at one another, then quickly averted their gazes.

“Seriously?” Richie grunted under his breath, rolling his eyes. He stroked a soft circle under the sleeping baby’s eye. “This conversation is important right now?”

The conversation barrelled on over top of him. 

“What are you talking about?” Audra asked, shaking her head. 

“I saw your letter.” Bill said, scowling at his girlfriend. “ _ I want to thank you for everything you’ve done to help me these past few weeks. You’ve really changed my life for the better! It means so, so much to me. I hope we can continue seeing each other?  _ What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? How long has this been going on, Audra?” 

Stan started coughing, grabbing at his chest and turning away. Audra gave Bill the most disgusted, annoyed look that Richie thought he’d ever seen on a woman’s face. “You idiot. That letter is from Stanley.”

Richie cupped his hands over little Frankie’s eyes just as Bill jerked his head to look at where Stan was standing, looking like a deer in headlights. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Bill lunged at Stan, knocking objects off the table in his haste. He shoved his hands against Stan’s chest, knocking him backwards. Patty let out a startled noise as Beverly wrapped a hand around her wrist and tugged her away the incoming fight. 

Frankie whimpered against Richie’s arm and he felt anger rush through him. “Hey,  _ fuckwads.”  _ Richie hissed. Bill and Stan both turned towards him, eyes widen and both breathing heavy. “This isn’t a scummy downtown bar, this is my fucking living room! My children are here! Get control of yourselves or get the fuck out.”

Bill and Stan both managed to look ashamed for a moment before the fury moved back over Bill’s face. “You’re going to stand up for him? After everything he did to you? He’s screwing my girlfriend!”

“I’m not screwing your girlfriend, man.” Stan said, pinching the brim of his nose. “I’m giving financial advice! She came to me, because she wasn’t sure if you could handle being a father or being responsible at all! And given the fact that you’re running drugs around town to make money, I think she has the right idea.”

Stan’s eyes blew wide open. Bill clenched his jaw. Richie closed his eyes.

“What?” Audra, Ben and Patty all asked in unison. 

 

Outside, Eddie paced along the front walkway, knuckling the tears away from his eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so upset, so scared. And maybe that was a lie, because he remembered that night in their first New York apartment back in ‘96, with Richie’s non-responsive expressions. And he could certainly remember Richie trying to stumble up those stairs, crying and stammering, and the trip to the hospital that night. 

“I brought you shoes.” Mike said, tossing them forward. Eddie turned around and watched them bounce to the ground in front of him. “In case you’re thinking of making it a run for it. I’m sure you can find a mechanic job in another city.”

Eddie gave him a withering look. “I’m not running away. I might chill out here until Stan and Bev leave and then-”

“And then what? You’ll go back in?” Mike challenged. Eddie looked up to his house and swallowed roughly. “Didn’t think so. Come on, Eddie, what the hell is happening? You easily could have gotta Richie out of that room, we both know it. So, what… what happened?”

“You weren’t there last time.” Eddie said with a croak. “This was… this was much like that. The emptiness… just the way he looked, acted. It was so similar. I cannot do that again, not me and not my girls. I-”

“So, what?” Mike asked with a sharp raise of his brow. “You’re running then? Just taking off? Take a little Eddie vacation, fuck Richie and the girls.”

“No. Fuck you,” Eddie rubbed angrily at his face. “You don’t get it. When he came to you, that was already better. Already a huge improvement! I  _ can’t  _ do that again, Mike.”

“Did Richie stop taking his medication?” Mike asked lightly.

“No.” Eddie said, sounding slightly horrified.

“And he always seems to be improving, right?” Mike continued. “He’s outside of the room. He’s even talking a little bit, right?” Eddie nodded begrudgingly and Mike gave him a small. “Eddie, this isn’t going to be like 1996. He lost his mother, and he’s hurting, but he’s here. He’s not leaving. But he needs you to try. Not to get along with Stanley or with Bev, fuck that. If you don’t forgive them, then you don’t. You don’t ever have to. But if you walk out on Richie now, I’ll have to hit you and I’m twice your size.”

“I’m not walking out on him!” Eddie cried, openly tearing up. “I would never and I could never. This isn’t even about that, really. I’m just… fucking scared. And you know what? All I want is to call Maggie and _can’t-”_ _  
_ Eddie voice shattered on his final word and bent over at the middle. Mike came over and grapsed both of Eddie’s shoulder, making a hurt sound. “Go inside, Eddie. Your family is hurting, too. Hurt together.” 

Eddie straightened up, wiping at the tears on his cheeks as fast as the tears were coming down. He nodded, gave Mike a watery smile and rushed past him into the house. He stumbled towards the living room, barely hearing the sound of people yelling at one another. It all stopped when he almost fell into the living room. There was a hush over everybody, them all looking towards Eddie framed in the living room doorway. 

Richie lowered baby Marty towards Frankie’s little arms, and stood up on shaky legs. “Eds…”

“You can’t go away.” Eddie said through a shaky voice. “You can’t, because God, Richie, I need you. We need you. You can’t go away again. You- I-” Eddie broke off with a whimper, squeezing his eyes closed. 

Richie let out a rough sob, moving slowly forward and wrapping an arm around Eddie, hand coming up to cup the back of his head. “I’m not going to go. I’m okay. We’re gonna be okay.”

Eddie pressed his face further into Richie’s chest and let himself be held by the love of his life. All the other problems could be fought later. 


End file.
